Finnick Odair's Many Stalkers
by Rose Hunter
Summary: Poor pretty boy Finnick Odair is too gorgeous for his own good. (abandoned)
1. Witch

**Finnick Odair**

The mail lady just walked by and dropped off three huge sacks beside my mailbox. Oh great. All of life's pleasures always come in packs left outside on my lawn. That was sarcasm by the way. Sorry I'm being so, I don't know, depressed. It's just that these stalkers won't leave me alone! I mean, if it was just one or two then I could just have the Peacekeepers take them away to the Funny Farm, but it isn't just a few. THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!

Oh wait, there's my reflection in a mirror! I feel all better! For those of you losers who don't know who I am, I am the miracle known as Finnick Odair. Everyone loves me. Especially me. Who couldn't love me? I'm perfect! I'm tall and tan with bronze hair and gorgeous green eyes. I also have a six pack that the ladies love. I charge six dollars to stroke them, eight to apply sun block.

I walk out of my house and lug the sacks inside. God, the last one is seriously heavy. I sit down on my couch, open it and do you know what happens? A chick jumps out!

"OH MY GOD!" I shout, jumping over my couch and hiding behind it. After a few minutes of silence I lift my head so that only my eyes are visible. There is a rather plump girl standing in my living room staring at me with an evil grin.

"Finnick," She laughs hysterically. "It's Delly! I'm here to marry you!" Oh no. It's Stalker 437 from District 12. Oh dear god…

I know there is only one source of action in their situation. I make a mad dash for my kitchen and the demon starts chasing after me. I grab a bucket of water, thank god I keep them handy, turn around and dump the whole thing on her! HA! Now, she's melt!

She runs out crying and I do my victory dance back into the living room. I plop down on the couch and open a letter. It says it's from someone named Gale. I make a mental note to make him Stalker 527.

_Dear Finnick Odair,_

_Oh how I love you standing by the sea_

_Even though my District Twelve is poor_

_I know you love me_

_Even though you are all the way from four_

_Oh Finnick, your eyes are so dreamy_

_Your hair is so pretty_

_The sauna next to my house is steamy_

_So come enjoy it with me and leave your city_

_In this country we may not have freeness_

_But we can see what we want to see_

_And I wiant to see your-_

Okay I'm not reading anymore of that! I toss that one in the trash can and wipe my hands down with Germ-X. That was… disturbing.


	2. The Package

**Finnick Odair**

Stalker 437, the crazy witch who said her name was Delly, is back. She's sitting outside my kitchen window holding a plate of cookies that says _FINNICK COME OUTSIDE AND EAT SOME COOKIES I PROMISE THEY AREN'T POISONED SO I CAN KIDNAP YOU_. Gulp.

As scary as it always is I decide for whatever reason that I'm going to read some more fan mail. I open the letter sack and pulls out a small box. Oh good. One of my stalkers decided to buy me something. That's the only good thing that ever comes out of having stalkers. They give you free stuff. Opening it, I pull out a pink lace bra and a small slip of paper.

_I want you to wear this…_

It says on the front. I flip it over.

_When I kill you_.

Oh. That's great. Just peachy. It's signed _GOF_. What kind of a name is that? GOF you are officially Stalker 672. I crumple up the paper and toss it in the trash can like the boss I am. I guess I could give the bra to Annie…


	3. Stalker 527

**Gale Hawthorne**

I sit on my bed listening to Hips Don't Lie by Shakira and writing Finnick Odair's name repeatedly on my math notebook. Oh Finnick. How I love you! I mean, I guess I love Katniss, too… but if I could see you in person, Finnick, she would be forgotten the second I saw your sea green eyes. I decide to write him a new poem.

_Dear Finnick Odair,_

_ How well you kill tributes_

_ Makes me want to cry_

_ You never loose_

_ You make me want to fly_

_ We could conquer the Capitol_

_ With your trident and my bow_

_ Please come sit in my lap(itol)_

_ Yes, Finnick, for you I'd kill a doe_

_ I would even frighten_

_ My darling Katniss Everdeen_

_ If I get to see your diamond_

_ Yes, that would be a beautiful scene_

Oh, Finnick will love that! I better not let Katniss see this. She'd get mad that I confessed that I would leave her for Finnick. Well, she's all demented and has absolutely no talents whatsoever. She can't do anything! What kind of a heroin is that? I should have been the star…


	4. More Stalker Mail

**Finnick Odair**

That Stalker 527, Gale, is really, really crossing a line. That last poem… Oh my god… I… no words… no words.

Delly is _still_ outside my house. She's been camping there for three days. She's started a 'This Many Hours since Finnick Last Reported Me to The Peacekeepers' chart. She's sitting in my driveway. Wait… I have a driveway?

Annie liked the bra. I don't know why. It didn't seem like her style, really, but she took it anyway. Hm. Oh well. I mean, I have a strange addiction to watching the Bachelor so I guess I can't really judge her.

I think I'll read some more fan letters or see whatever else they can possibly have sent me. I open one that is written on stationary that is decorated with a pattern of spears and the number 1.

_I like the outfit you picked out yesterday. You remind me of my dead cat._

_-Marvel_

Um… How exactly do I respond to that? Oh boy, Delly is knocking on my window. Hold on, she's holding up a sign… it says _I love you Finnick we are meant for each other!_ Oh god help me.


	5. Concerned

**Peeta Mellark**

Gale has been acting really… weird… lately. Or at least that's what Katniss says. She says that she found love poems to Finnick Odair in his hunting bag. So, Gale is bi. That's a plot twist.

I'm not sure Katniss is herself, either. She went in Victoria Secret when we were at the mall last week. That's possibly the most un-Katniss-like thing she could possibly do. And when we went into Illegal Hunters R Us she bought knives. That isn't her style. This is a seriously concerned boyfriend talking here.

**Primrose Everdeen**

Katniss is scaring me. She being mean to Buttercup. Well, meaner then she normally is. I walked into our shack the other day and she had him pinned to the table and looked like she was about to stab him. Since when does she even have knives?


	6. Fan Mail From District Two

**Finnick Odair**

As I eat a fried banana I listen merrily to the sound of Delly's screams. Annie is on the roof throwing water balloons at her. Delly refuses to leave my property so she just kind of sits there shivering. It actually really funny!

I'm in such a good mood that I decide to open some more fan mail! Of course, that always ends badly but for whatever reason I'm going to do it anyway. I open a letter that is written on regular paper. So far so good.

_Dear Finnick Odair,_

_ You are my idol! You should come with me to my anger management class…_

_ -Cato_

Could it be? Actual fan mail and not stalker mail? It is! WAHOO! Finnick Odair is having a good day!


	7. The Careers Have Issues

**Finnick Odair**

Can you believe I'm still in a good mood from the fan mail? Well, you know, it's only been five minutes but whatever. Delly is outside my window waving a sign that says _If you don't get rid of the red-head who through the water balloons then I will dispose of her myself_. Annie's sitting next to me on her laptop looking up pictures of birds in hats. Since I'm in a good mood and I'm feeling lucky I pull out another envelope. I cut it open and pull out a red piece of paper. Oh boy…

_ I cut kittens for you!_

_ -Clove_

Is it wrong to be genuinely concerned for my well being? Also, I have a question. What kind of stupid people decide to send me creepy junk like this and then sign there name at the bottom? Seriously, that's just retarded. This people really annoy me. So I open another one of their letters.

_I know what you did last night…_

_ -Marvel_

Okay, I am officially deeply genuinely concerned for my wellbeing. Okay I was just watching SpongeBob last night! That's no big deal! It's intense! Krabby Patty monsters tried to eat Garry!


	8. A Modern Day Vincent Van Gogh

**Finnick Odair**

You will never believe what just happened. I decided, for whatever reason, to read more fan mail. So I opened a small box with a letter taped to the front. I read the letter before I opened the box.

_Oh Finnick, I want you to have my thumb_

_I love you more then my own mum_

_Finnick we will always be together_

_We are two birds that share the same feather_

_And that feather is our love_

_You fit me like a baseball glove_

_That would have fit my hand_

_Except I cut off my thumb and sent it to your land_

_-Clove_

She wasn't kidding. There really was a thumb in there.


	9. The Boy in my Closet

**Finnick Odair**

I've been talking to directors about making a movie called Finnick Odair: the Savior of Mankind. Seneca Crane said he'd consider it! YAY! The movie would be about a poor, yet extremely gorgeous, man named Finnick Odair who is chosen to play in the Thirst Playoffs (since Seneca says I can't say Hunger Games due to copyright laws). In the end, Finnick wins because the other plays are completely blinded by his sexiness! Then he takes over the world and violently executes everyone who has ever stalked him… starting with Gale…

Oh, hold on… Annie is talking to her golf balls again. "Annie!" I yell. "The golf balls _cannot_ hear you!"

"Golf balls are people, too!" She shouts back. Oh Annie. I love you but there are so many things wrong with you. She continues to talk to them so I just give up. I'll just throw them out while she's sleeping and tell her they ran away.

Anyway, she stopped talking to the golf balls. Good. Oh, wait… what's she doing now? She's singing about narwhales and trying to cook. I open an umbrella because the indoor sprinklers might come on.

I decide to go on a walk before the house catches on fire. I go to our jacket closet to get a coat so I won't freeze to death. However, when I open the door a dude falls out! AH! I jump back and grab a bucket of water, prepared to make him melt of he makes any hostile movement. "Who the heck are you?" I shout.

"Don't you know, Finnick?" He smiles creepily. "I know everything about _you_. Where you work… where you sleep… the names of our abs… what Annie looks like naked… what you look like naked… the names of your past cats… I took your missing SpongeBob DVD by the way, I thought-"

"YOU WHAT?" I scream, slamming him up against the wall. No one and I mean NO ONE touches my SpongeBob DVDs! "What is your name?"

"M-Marvel!" He squeaked.

"Well, Marvel," I snarl. "You know what? That's a stupid name. And you can stalk me all day long and look at my crazy girlfriend naked, but how dare you, HOW DARE YOU touch my SpongeBob DVD!" I slammed him into the wall again and I think he fell asleep. I threw him out the front door to Delly who immediately caught him. She's stared a clinic for stalkers who I've violently thrown out of my house.

I decide not to go on the walk and instead pray that the house doesn't catch on fire. I sit back down on my coach and mysteriously find myself opening more fan mail. It's like someone compelled me to. I open a shoe box and inside there is something wrapped in tissue paper. I pick up a small slip of paper.

_This will soon be your fate…_

_-GOF_

I unwrap the object and find out that if is a dead, mutilated cat inside that has had all its fur shaved off and the words _I'm coming for you_ carved into its side. I try to call the Peacekeepers but an automated voice says I've reached my maximum number of calls for the year. Oh great.


	10. Finnick Can Write Poetry, Too

**Finnick Odair**

_Dear Finnick,_

_I want you to have my tooth_

_I'm a baseball and you're Babe Ruth_

_I'll love you 'til the end of earth_

_You're the horse and I'm the girth_

_I always see you in my dream_

_I'm a dress and you're the seam_

_I hope someday you'll love me, too_

_I'm the foot and you're the shoe_

_-Clove_

So she sent me her tooth. What does she expect me to do with this, anyway? Does she think I have a collection of body parts that people send me? There is something seriously wrong with this chick and she needs to know that. So I decide to speak her language so I can tell her to stop sending me severed pieces of herself. I'm going to write her a poem.

_Dear Clove,_

_You have sent me a tooth and a thumb,_

_But honestly I think it was rather dumb._

_Stop sending me body parts_

_Or I'll get the Peacekeepers to shoot you with sleeping darts._

_You'll wake up in a padded cell,_

_Did I say I hope you aren't doing well?_

_The doctors will come in._

_Clove, in this poem battle there is no way you can win._

_I don't want your thumb or your teeth,_

_You should go die in a bush and draw every leaf._

_I will never love you because you are creepy,_

_And your demented poems make me rather weepy. _

_I swear Clove, if you don't bail_

_I'll hit you in the back of the head with a pail._

_Just the thought of you make me want to scream,_

_I wish I could scar your face with a laser beam._

_-Love Finnick_

Yes, that will work. I swear, she needs to leave me alone or I'm going to do everything listed above. She's disturbed and psychotic!

**Gale Hawthorn**

I love Finnick Odair. He's sexy! Well, I am too, but look at him! He's gorgeous! If he saw my beauty he'd love me instead of that stupid chick, Annie. Delly texted me about how Finnick is dating Annie, a lunatic who throws water balloons at her. Who throws water balloons at their boyfriend's fans? It's just wrong. So I have to think of a way to break up Annie and Finnick. Then, I will dramatically emerge in slow motion to catch Finnick's rebound love! Yes, I'm a genius.

**Primrose Everdeen**

Gale has been writing love letters to Finnick again. Katniss keeps complaining about how she keeps finding his game bag full of hundreds of poems instead of hundreds of squirrels. I don't understand why Katniss likes squirrels so much; I think their meat is too tough and gamy. And they look absolutely disgusting when they are roasting on a spit. Whenever Katniss roasts them her eyes get really big and drool drips down her chin. It's really weird.

Also, I'm really worried. Buttercup has gone missing…

**Katniss Everdeen**

I take inventory once more before I set off. I'm dressed in black lace-up combat boots, black skinny jeans, a black leather jacket and a pair of dark sunglasses. My crossbow and my quiver are over my shoulder and my hands are covered in black gloves. I have knives in both of my boots and four on my belt. My hair is up in a bun that is supported by a thin, poisoned dagger. I'm ready.


	11. GOF Attacks

**Finnick Odair**

I open another box and this is the letter that is left inside.

_Dear Finnick,_

_I want you to have my elbow._

_I love you so much that I'll go this low_

_All just to make you happy_

_I hope this doesn't sound too sappy._

_Since, Finnick, you'd love to have a cat_

_Everyday I would place the decapitated head of one on your doormat._

_I don't care if today you hate me_

_Because one day you will finally see_

_That we are meant for each other._

_For you, I'd stab my own mother._

_I can get over the fact that you killed Marvel, my ally_

_A person who was born in the month of July._

_You slammed him into a wall,_

_And into death he does fall._

_But he irked me anyway_

_He killed little girls, which I'd like to say_

_Was my job so good for you!_

_To have killed him… can we bake him in a stew?_

_I bet he'd taste good_

_I would have killed him if I could._

_I know I'm dating Cato_

_But if you ask me, he is to late-o_

_To get my love because you have it,_

_Now I have to go and torture a rabbit._

_-Clove_

Her elbow was inside the box with a tattoo that says _Finnick Odair, how I love you so_ in red ink. Hey, if she keeps this up she's just going to cut off her body parts until there is nothing left. Or maybe she's an alien who can get cut up and then rejoin back with her other body parts. You know, I think I'm going to go throw away her tooth and her thumb now…

When I get back from doing this, I am about to sit down when an arrow whizzes past my face. It hits the wall and sticks there. A roll of paper is wrapped tightly around it with an orange ribbon. Untying it, I read the paper.

_I'm here, Finnick_

_-GOF_

Oh no! GOF is actually here? I thought they were just kidding! Another arrow flies towards me and I barely have time to leap out of the way. It pierces the wall where my heart was a second before. A girl dressed completely in black steps around a corner with a crossbow in her hands. She looks like a walking armory, with weapons practically on ever inch of her body. Her brown hair is tied up in a tight ponytail.

As she fires another arrow at me, I realize who she is. This is Katniss Everdeen and GOF wasn't a name. It was an abbreviation of _girl on fire_. I fell really stupid right now. The arrow thankfully misses, because I've turned tail and am racing away as fast as I can. I run up the stairs and can hear her following me on light feet. As I duck into a hallway two throwing daggers stick into my wall, GOF written on each one of them.

I run into my own room and grab my golden trident. I step out of the room and am met by Katniss, who tries to bring her knife down on my shoulder but instead is blocked by my trident. For a moment neither of us moves, her staring into my eyes and me staring at my sexy reflection in her sunglasses. Suddenly my instincts start working again and I kick her in the stomach. She falls backwards and I hit the wall. I take this opportunity to race past her and down the hallway as quickly as I can. Another throwing dagger zips past my left ear and I can hear the swoosh it creates in the air as it flies past. It shatters the stain glass portrait of my beauty at the end of the hallway and I watch as shards of me fall to the ground.

I stop when I get to the end of the hallway. Katniss has me trapped and when she reaches me she places the point of her arrow right on my nose, casing me to go cross-eyes to look at it. She smiles evilly. "Any last words, Finnick Odair?"

"I just want to know," I say slowly. "Why you want me dead."

"Isn't it obvious?" she laughs, her arrowhead digging deeper into my nose. Ow. "Gale isn't with me anymore because he is in love with you! If you're gone then there is nothing standing in between him and me."

"That creep who writes me sexual love poems?" I ask, surprised. She nods. "You can have him!" She smiles darkly one more times before she tightens her grip on the crossbow. I can tell she is about to pull the trigger when…

"GET AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND!" Annie screeches, tackling Katniss and tossing her crossbow away from her. The two of them wrestle on the ground, to close for either of them to use a weapon. Finally, Annie is on the bottom of the pair and Katniss is pulling a knife out of its sheath on her belt when Annie kicks her in the stomach with both her legs, propelling Katniss off her and out the window.

Slowly, we approach the window and look out. Katniss is gone, but Delly is waving frantically, holding up a sign with her phone number written on it. "Annie, thank you!" I say, hugging my girlfriend.

"It was nothing, Finnick," Annie smiles. "It's just… after my golf balls ran away I realized how important you are to me. I love you, Finnick."

"I love you, too, Annie," I say, kissing her for what seems like an eternity.


	12. What Happens in Room 76

**Finnick Odair**

I walk into the large building dressed in bathing suit shorts, a T-shirt and pair of old flip flops. There's a can of Mace in my pocket just in case I need it. I sign in at the font desk and a nice lady named Helen tells me what room to go to.

So I decided to go to Cato's anger management class just because he's my only normalish fan. I find room 76 and step inside. Everyone is just arriving and all have name tags on. A short bald guy with a pair of glasses who I assume is the teacher hands me a nametag and a marker. I scribble a few words on there until it says _Hello, I am: gorgeous and sexy_. A dude almost as hot as me walks over with a shocked expression on his face.

"Finnick Odair?" He asks. I nod. "Oh my god, you actually came! My name is Cato," He glances down at his name tag. "Oh, right, you already knew that. I'm so freaking stoked that you're hear. You know, you are my biggest roll model. Can you sign my football?" He holds out a quality leather football which I sign with my marker that I'm not going to return. The short bald guy calls role and then we all wait for him to speak.

"Well, come on, Baldy," I say impatiently. "Say something already!" Everyone laughs. Baldy clears his throat.

"Today," He says in a very nerdy voice. "We'll be role playing. Please chose partners and begin." Cato immediately has his arm through mine.

"I CALL FINNICK!" He shouts, staring down the other anger management students. The all back away a few steps. Cato turns to me with a smile like nothing happened at all. "Hey, buddy, since clove has been seriously getting on my nerves lately you should role play her and I'll role play me."

"Clove?" I ask. "I'm not sure I really want to play her…"

"Why not?" Cato asks, tilting his head.

"She scares me," I reply honestly.

"Is it because she has missing body parts?" He asks. "Because it isn't her fault she keeps getting into accidents. I mean how could she know that some random kid was going to throw a rock at her and it was going to knock out her tooth? Or how could she know that that shark was going to jump out of the ocean and bite her arm off?"

"First of all," I say slowly. "I'm pretty sure you don't have beaches in this district. Second, they weren't accidents; she cuts off her body parts and sends them to me with creepy poems! Look," I pull out a copy of the latest in a line of poems. Why do I carry this around with me?

_Dear Finnick,_

_I want you to have my eyebrows_

_In my district I wish we had cows_

_So I could cut off their hooves and send them to you._

_I love you more then beef stew. _

_Your face makes me want to die_

_Your eyes make me want to fly._

_I wish I could cut out my eyes and send them to you, Finnick_

_When I see you I feel like I'm on a picnic_

_But then I wouldn't be able to see_

_And I couldn't send you parts of me._

_I know you love the pieces of my body, so_

_With me eyebrows I also sent my toe_

_-Clove_

"That stalker witch!" Cato screams, crumpling up the paper into a tiny ball and then eating it.

"No, that's Delly," I correct him.

"How dare she cheat on me?" He howls ripping out clumps of hair.

"Babes are like that," I say, sitting down in a chair and sipping a juice box. "You should totally go kill her. Then she won't send me any more body parts and she won't cheat on you anymore."

"I will!' Cato shrieks as he pounds his chest with his fists and then runs screaming out of the room. Meanwhile, I decide to write Clove a response to her poem in my own Finnick Odair poem style because I'm awesome like that.

_Dear Clove,_

_I'm sending back your eyebrows because_

_Every inch of your body is covered in fuzz._

_Your nine toes are crooked and hair_

_I love you less then my toilet named Larry._

_Your face reminds me of a roach._

_If you were on a football team and I was the coach_

_I would make you a benchwarmer because you suck_

_P.S. tell Marvel that I should not remind him of a dead duck_

_-Love Finnick_


	13. Returning From the Dead

**Marvel… a character without a last name…**

I see a bright light and immediately run away from it. Bright lights scare me! I hear opera music in the background, but no matter how fast I try to go I'm not going anywhere! AH! Suddenly, I wake up with a start. I'm in a small, metal room. No, it's not a room, I'm laying on a metal bed in a metal… um… _drawer?_ HOLY CRAP I'M IN A MORGUE!

A small door at my feet is opened and I'm pulled out. A disgusting creature stands over me, her claws digging into the table and her fangs gnashing. She snatches the small tag on my foot and rips it up into pieces with her good arm.

"God, Clove," I exclaim. "I think my heart just stopped."

"You're in a morgue," She growls. "Your hearts supposed to be stopped."

"How'd you know I'm alive?" I ask.

"You weren't," She replies simply. I tilt my head and notice she's in a ceremonial robe and pointy hat with her raven, Checkers, sitting on her shoulder. I reach out to pet him and he snaps at me, almost biting my finger off.

"Oh, right," I nod. "I always knew you were a witch."

"No, that's Delly," she corrects me. "I'm a sorceress of darkness, idiot."

"Right," I nod, pulling myself to my feet. "I totally knew that. How is Finnick? Has he been taking his allergy pills every day like he's supposed to? Because if he doesn't then he'll start sneezing and his vision will get all fuzzy."

"How do you know that?"

"It says it right here in his medical records," I say, pulling the papers out of my pocket and handing them to her.

"You keep this in your pocket?"

"Yep," I say proudly, lifting my chin up. She hands me back the medical records and I stuff them in my pocket. "Hey, I'm going to go hang out in Finnick's air vents, but if you want we can grab a cheeseburger on the way over-"

"Marvel," She interrupts me. "I brought you back from the dead for a reason."

"And what would that be?" I ask, curiously rubbing my hairless chin.

"I think we should team up."

**Finnick Odair**

So Cato's crashing at my house because he's all heart broken about Clove and whatnot. He's sitting next to me on the couch and throwing pictures of her into my fireplace while eating ice cream. I've decided to open more fan mail just because I'm bored. I may regret this in a few minutes.

_ Dear Finnick,_

_ You are the cool to my ice_

_ The cheese to my mice_

_ My passion for you burns like the heat of a thousand suns_

_ And you have very sexy buns_

_ In my bedroom we can have lots of fun_

_ Just watch out for my mom because she owns a machine gun_

_ -Gale_

No comment…


	14. Gale Arrives in District Four

**Hi fans who I love and charish deeply but not in a creepy or distrubing way and whom I do not have an unhealthy realationship with! There are some things in this chapter so if you are under... I don't know... eleven or twelve I guess then you might want to not read the poem from Gale. Just saying. I had Japanese chocolate today and its amazing! XD**

* * *

><p><strong>G<strong>**ale Hawthorn**

I did it! Yes! I made it to District Four! I pull out my map with directions to Finnick's house that I got off of and study it carefully. Okay, I have to turn right on Catfish Dr. and left here on Trout Rd. Wait, now I'm lost. Great. Well this map is garbage. I crumple it up and throw it into a nearby trashcan. Glancing around I find someone that I deem worthy enough for me to ask directions from.

"Excuse me," I say, tapping him on the shoulder. He turns around. "But I'm lost. Do you know how to get to Finnick Odair's house?"

"I do!" He says happily, taking a bite of a cheeseburger. He looks to his right. "Hey, Clove, this guy is going to Finnick's house, too! Can we keep him?" A disgusting looking girl emerges from the crowd with a raven on her shoulder and her cold eyes narrowed. She studies me up and down so I strike my best sexy-looking pose. She sighs.

"Fine," She hisses. "But he's your responsibility. Don't forget to feed him twice a day and take him out on walks. I swear, Marvel, if he chews on my shoes then I'm going to rip out his throat and send it to Finnick." Marvel passes me a cheeseburger and we head of, straight towards Finnick's house.

**Finnick Odair**

I'm pretty bored. Cato is in the guest room listening to Taylor Swift and Annie is playing Assassin's Creed in the living room. Delly is probably still outside burning me Beatles' CDs for me. I don't know why she thinks I want them, I never liked the Beatles. They are to… I don't know… to… to something. Annie went to the Peacekeepers Station and looked through the records earlier today. She said that they still haven't arrested Katniss… but then she said that the mermaid engineers who were working at the Train Station said that they had gotten a post card from her golf balls in the city and they said they missed her. Maybe I should really consider hiring another therapist, but you know I'm not sure I want to after what happened with the last one and the kitchen sink. I reach into my mail sack and pull out an envelope at random.

_ Dear Finnick,_

_ You mean everything to me_

_So I'm coming to District Four so you can see_

_That I am beautiful, too,_

_Then we'll sail the ocean blue_

_We can paint the District red_

_I'll even let you pet my head_

_I am leaving behind Katniss_

_I will find you with my atlas_

_That I got off the internet_

_Everything about you makes me rather wet_

_I can't wait to see you_

_And I know you can't wait to see me, too_

_-Gale_

Well that certainly was interesting. You know, at least he's honest about stuff like that. That kind of honesty is really hard to find these days. As I chew on Italian rock candy I mull this over. Gale really isn't so bad. I reread the poem over and change my mind, finding the very awkward things mentioned. Yeah, never mind. If I see Gale I'll just poor a bucket of water on him and he'll melt. Oh wait, it takes the mail a few days to get here… and the trip to this district only takes a day… so Gale could already be here! AH! I need to close all the windows, lock all the doors, clean the bathrooms, close the shutters, load the cannons… So much to do and so little time!


	15. Go Fish Goes Bad

**Finnick Odair**

"Do you have any threes?" Cato asks.

"Go fish," I say. Cato groans and takes another card off the top. I'm trying to take his mind off of Clove since he was so heartbroken about her. Go Fish seems to be working so far. "Do you have any twos?"

"Clove was from District Two!" Cato bursts out sobbing and I go get another box of tissues out of the closet. Handing them to him, I sit back down on the couch and watch him try to regain his composure. Sigh. I guess Go Fish wasn't such a good idea. Annie is out shopping for more tissues, since we've already gone through four boxes today and its only 10:32 in the morning.

"Its okay, Cato," I say, patting his head. "Clove isn't good enough for you, anyway."

"Can you make me some hot chocolate?" Cato sniffs.

"Sure," I smile, getting up and heading into the kitchen. I'm taking the chocolate milk out of the fridge when I begin to see the gas wafting down from my air vent. I'm so startled I drop the mug and stumble backwards. My throat tightens and my vision begins to fuzz as I fall to the ground and lose consciousness.

When I wake up a raven is sitting on my face. I scream and it flies into the air. I'm tied to a chair in a huge, empty room coated in dust. Cato sits next to me, tied to a chair as well, while Marvel and a mean-looking girl with the raven standing on her shoulder loom above us.

"Witch!" I shout as the girl steps closer to me. _It_ caresses my cheek with its good arm and sits down in my lap. It looks in my eyes and I wait for myself to turn to stone but it doesn't happen.

"Hello, Finnick," It smiles and I find its missing a tooth. "Do you know who I am?" I study it and notice the body parts its missing… its Clove! Oh dear Neptune!

"Clove," I hear Cato whimper next to me. "Why are you doing this? Wasn't I good enough for you?"

"No," It replies simply, not even taking its eyes off of me and running its hands through my hair. "I only accept the best."

I hear a door opening and closing somewhere. "Hey guys, I picked up the pizza from Papa Johns! Half vegetarian, and half-" the voice cuts off abruptly and I see a rather handsome boy running into the room carrying a box of pizza. He drops the pizza on the ground and his mouth drops open. "FINNICK!" He runs towards me and pushes Clove to the ground in the process, sitting on my lap himself and running _his_ hands through my hair. I have a feeling who this is and I really hope I'm wrong.

"_Gale_," Clove says, a little too perkily. Gale looks up at it and finds it is holding a squirrel toy. It squeezes the toy and the squirrel squeaks. He gets off me and runs over to it excitedly. "Go fetch!" It throws it off in some random direction and he races after it.

"Clove," I say taking this moment of silence to my advantage. "I don't love you."

"Of course you do!" It laughs. "Everyone loves me."

"I don't," I hear Marvel mutter.

"Shut up," It says, still smiling. "Everyone who _matters_ loves me, Finnick."

"I could never love a character that doesn't have a last name!" I argue.

"Hey!" I hear Cato growl next to me.

"Oh, sorry, Cato," I apologize. I look back at Clove. "You are disgusting and creepy and gross and stalkerish and you're a Meany!" This enrages it and I begin to wish that I hadn't said that.

It turns to the raven sitting on its shoulder. "Checkers, bite his eyes out!" Checkers lifts into the air and I wriggle against the ropes frantically trying to escape when Checkers veers off course to chase down a worm that crawled inside somehow. "Ug, you stupid bird, I'll do it myself." I yelp as it pulls out a curved dagger and steps towards me, an evil smile on its face. Suddenly I here a whizzing sound and an arrow appears in Clove's shoulder. It screamed and collapses to the ground.

"Oh no, what am I going to do, what am I going to do?" Marvel yells, running around in circles. "Djaevelen skyder pile! Djaevelen skyder pile!"

"What's he saying?" I ask curiously.

"The devil shoots arrows," Cato translates.

"You speak Spanish?" I question.

"Actually, that's Danish, but yes, I do speak Spanish." Cato replies. "I also speak Arabic, Japanese, Chinese, Greek, Latin, Bulgarian, Romanian, Siberian-"

"Cato," I interrupt. "As much as I'd love to listen to the list of languages you speak, we are kind of in a situation here!"

"Oh, sorry,"

"Marvel," I say. He stops running abruptly and another arrow flies past his head, sticking into the ground in front of my feet. "If you let us go I promise I'll protect you!"

"Okay!" He says, taking a knife off of Clove's quivering body and cutting the rope that tie Cato and I to the chairs. We leap to our feet and race towards the nearest door, leaving Marvel to fend for himself. Cato breaks down the door and we burst into the sunlight. Katniss stands outside in her ninja outfit, a couple of peacekeepers locking handcuffs securely around her wrists behind her back.

"Hey Katniss," I say, tentatively walking up to her. "Thanks for shooting Clove for me."

"I was aiming for you," She grumbles.

"Well, thanks anyway," I say, patting her on the head. She tries to bite my hand and I take a step away from her.

"I'll be back," She hisses as the Peacekeepers lead her away. I don't know why but I have the strange feeling that Katniss will be back…

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><p><strong>Review and Finnick will make you hot chocolate! Don't review and Checkers will bite your eyes out!<strong>


	16. A True Poet

**Okay, so I've been having issues coming up with ideas for this story lately, so I want to say that if you want any ideas or suggestions I might just use them! But, of course, I'm about to go take a shower and I think best when I'm in warm water so yeah, I might get a really great idea and then comepletely ignore all of yours! Ha, just kidding, I seriously appreciate all of your reviews and favorites and all that... :)**

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><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

Since I was kidnapped by Clove, Marvel and Gale last week I've decided to write them all some poetry. Oh wait I have to go to the bathroom… I'm back! Okay, now that my bladder is empty and my dreams are full, let's get to work!

_Dear Clove,_

_You are a hag; I can't believe you kidnapped me_

_That was something I definitely did not foresee_

_Checkers almost pecked my eyes out_

_You remind me of a dead trout_

_Your eyes are the color of mud_

_And I'm pretty sure you have ice instead of blood_

_Your face is covered in acne_

_And the only word that rhymes with that is hackney_

_You really get on my nerves_

_And your body has no curves_

_Unlike Annie, my awesomesauce girlfriend_

_Who I go out with on Thursdays and the weekend_

_You left poor Cato all alone_

_I wish I could rip out your backbone_

_And feed it to a pack of wild dogs_

_Clove, your stench is rivaled only by hogs_

_-Love Finnick_

_Dear Marvel,_

_You are really, really freaky_

_And sometimes rather sneaky_

_How are you getting into my house without a key?_

_A cool word to say is idiosyncrasy_

_But I'm not sure what it means…_

_I hope you drown in a sea of beans_

_Your face is really creepy_

_The sight of you makes me weepy_

_Your eyes remind me of blue kryptonite_

_No, I do NOT watch Superman cartoons, get off my case, alright?_

_I hate everything about you_

_I hope you get squished by a large metal shoe_

_Then you get dipped in boiling tar_

_Finally, your body gets disposed of in an alley behind a bar_

_-Love Finnick_

_Dear Gale,_

_I always thought you were a dog._

_Your face looks like it was smashed in by a log_

_Your facial features are really weird_

_Please never grow a beard_

_Thor looks a lot like you but bigger…_

_I wish I could aim a gun at you and pull the trigger_

_I hope your fingers get slammed in a door_

_And your remains get hidden under the boards of the floor_

_-Love Finnick_

Yes, I am a poetry genius!

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><p><strong>If you reviewed then Finnick jumps out of your computer and hands you a cup of his amazing hot chocolate. If you didn't then Checkers jumps out of your computer and attacks your eyeballs ;)<strong>

**Review this chapter and you can watch Super Friends with Finnick! Don't review and he'll write you hate poetry.**


	17. Finnick and Cato watch TV

**Okay, time to talk about the many, MANY ideas that I took from people for this chapter! Well first, the Super Friends part is actually from Super Friends. Lol its fun to watch that show! XD Anyway, I also took some commercials, the Old Spice commercial which I love incredibly and that one commercial for beer that I don't know the name of. Also, the Old Spice commercial was partially a video on youtube by Itsjustsomerandomguy. Okay, I needed ideas, don't murder me! Lol, okay, um... thanks to Oxenstierna D. Yuki-Rin for giving me the idea in the first place for the Old Spice commercial :) Okay, I'm going to shut up now so you can read XD**

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><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

Cato and I are sitting on the couch in my living room watching Super Friends while eating peanut butter cookies that Annie made. They are actually really good. Hey, my favorite part is on… the health announcements!

"Don't smoke, kids," Superman says. "It doesn't make you grown up, it makes you a loser!"

"It does…" I nod in agreement. I groan as the commercials come on but Cato shushes me.

"This commercial is hilarious," He whispers.

Peeta Mellark is onscreen in a bathroom in only a towel. "Hello ladies," He says. "Look at your man, now back to me, now back to your man, now back to me, now squint at him, now look at me in HD. Luckily, he is not me because I would have gone into a jealous rage over you checking out some other guy right in front of me, but there's plenty of reasons to be glad your man isn't me! Look down, now look up. Where are you? You're in the Hunger Games, the fight to the death on live TV, with some nut job who looks a lot like Josh Hutcherson who's not your man. What's in your hand? I have it: a dead squirrel. No, I did not catch it; I got it from that place across the street. Look again, still a dead squirrel and I still did not catch it because I am nowhere near as athletic as your man. What's this? The Hunger Games is now court! Your man loved you with every fiber of his being and you just ran off with the first cake-froster who came along! But look how far he's willing to go to get you back! Now he's turned the court into the scene of a hostage negotiation. You wanted crazy? No? You got it anyway! Hold on a minute… what's this? Now you're reunited with your man, spending quality time with each other every day… during visiting hours at a maximum security prison! How did you get here? You listened to me, the lunatic making eyes at you from the TV screen. But all is not lost… _POOF!_ What did that low-budget sound-effect mean? You're back where you started, sitting next to the man that you can now appreciate after comparing him to me." The words _appreciate your man… and the fact that you aren't Katniss Everdeen_ flash at the bottom of the screen. Cato is dying laughing.

The next commercial that comes up is actually mine. YAY! I'm on TV! I start jumping up and down and squealing like a little girl as it comes on. "The police often question me just because I'm sexy," I say on TV. "My abs alone has experienced more then any other man's entire body. My blood smells like cologne. I am the sexiest man in the world. I don't always shampoo my hair, but when I do I prefer Finnick Odair's Sexy Man Shampoo. Stay sexy my friends."

There is a knocking on the door and I turn off the TV, walking down the hallway. I unlock the door, then open it and what I see behind it makes me want to sob loudly in a dark room. My worst nightmares have come true; my universe is shattering before my eyes. My life is ruined; everything that I once thought I knew I have now found out is only a lie. My house will shrivel to the ground at the mere presence of these beasts, their horrifying aura making me cringe and the coldness of their eyes sinking into my soul to forever scare my dreams.

"Finnick, we're going to be staying with you and Annie for a few weeks while our house gets rebuilt." My mother-in-law says.

"What'd you say?" My father-in-law rasps.

"NO!" I scream, slam the door in their faces and run away to take a shower, trying to get the thought of those vermin out of my mind.

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><p><strong>If you reviewed the last chapter then Finnick randomly appears on your couch and turns Super Friends on. If you didn't then Finnick wrote you this poem:<strong>

_Dear Jerks,_

_What the heck is wrong with you?_

_How dare you not review?_

_I'm incredibally handsome_

_I wish I could kidnap your family and hold them for ransom_

_But sadly you are in another dimension_

_So now do I have your attention?_

_You better review this chapter,_

_If you don't you will be eaten by a velociraptor._

_So screw you, punks!_

_I hope you gets sqashed by some falling tree trunks._

_-Love Finnick_

**Review this chapter and Annie will make you peanut butter cookies! Don't review and, as said above, you will get eaten by a velociraptor.**


	18. Lets Discuss This Over Beef Jerky

**Howdy, peeps. So this chapter is a little shorter then usual, obviously. Don't murder me violently! I've been thinking about things lately... for example, why does my fan have only four blades while my Design Rueger's fan has five and my other friend's fan has three? It's weird!**

**Also, you know those moments where you are reading over your story and you keep finding tiny little errors anf it bugs you so much that after every time you see one you go and fix it, but then you end up seeing, like, twenty in all and you keep going back and forth between the story and fixing it? I'm having one of those moments.**

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><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

Finnick. Odair. Hates. Life.

"Finnick, this beef jerky is dry," My mother-in-law, I think her name is Cyrilla, complains. Everyone who's staying in the house sits around our crowded dinning room table, enjoying a meal of my famous beef jerky and Annie's homegrown cantaloupe.

"Beef jerky is supposed to be dry," I reply through gritted teeth.

"WHAT?" My father-in-law, Harcourt, yells. "WHAT'D YA SAY?"

"I think your hearing is as bad as your eyesight…" I grumble.

"_WHAT?_"

"So," Cato says, interrupting the awkward. "What happened to your house, Mr. and Mrs. Cresta?"

"Our neighbors' child burned it down," Cyrilla hisses, violently biting off a piece of beef jerky. We all stare at her, disturbed… well, except for Hartcourt who is staring at a squirrel outside the window and speaking in sign language for some reason. "That child is a hooligan. When the police asked him why he burned down the house he said it was because he didn't like the color! Who doesn't like hot pink?"

"Me," I say under my breath so that no one hears me.

"FINNICK," Hartcourt shouts, feeling Cato's face while his own head is pointed towards the ceiling. "YOU FEEL SO MUCH MORE MUSCULER THEN USUAL!"

"Hey!" I exclaim. How dare he say that Cato is more muscular then me?

"Actually, sir," Cato says politely. "I'm Cato."

"_WHAT?_"

"Oh, you're so polite," Cyrilla says, pinching Cato's cheeks. "See Annie, I told you that you could have married a nice boy, like Cato here for example. But what do you do? Run off with this ruffian. You could have married someone like this boy, someone with _potential_. I always told you that you should have listened to me."

"I have potential!" I argue.

"No you don't," She snaps.

"Mom, I love Finnick," Annie says quietly.

"Oh my god," Cyrilla is fuming now. "Who cares? You think I love your father? NO! I did it to make my mother happy. Why did _you_ ignore _me_ and marry this hoodlum? Why can't you just make me happy?" She stands up so fast that her chair tips over and storms out of the room.

There is a long silence in which everyone drifts into their own thoughts until Hartcourt finally bursts out, "_WHAT?_"

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><p><strong>If you reviewed the last chapter then Annie walks up to you and hands you a plate of peanut butter cookies. If you didn't review then a velociraptor breaks down your door and bites your head off.<strong>

**Review this chapter and Finnick will give you beef jerky! Don't review, and Cyrilla will insult you repeatedly before asking you wil you don't make her happy.**


	19. The Devil Arrives

**Sup, cotton candy children? I love you all! Have I said that before? Probably. Anyway, I want to do something exciting for the twentieth chapter, but idk what to do... so... ideas? I mean, I have ONE idea but I'd love to see what you guys can think of! You all rock! I like red velvet cake. XD**

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><p><strong>Cyrilla Cresta<strong>

I hate the color of Annie's house, it's a light blue. Why is their carpet so obnoxious? Why did she marry such a loser? Why do they have a hot tub if they are right on the beach? How come their ceiling is so low? Why can't she just make me happy and buy a house that lives up to my standards?

Someone rings the doorbell and since I'm the closest to it, I go to answer it. Opening the door—which I hate the color of, by the way—I find a rather small eight year old boy standing behind it, his brown hair messy and un-brushed and his brown eyes narrowed evilly.

"I don't like the color of your shirt," The boy, Rivera, says, holding up a lighter. This is the child who lives next door to me, the ruffian who burned down my house! I shriek and race back inside.

"What's wrong?" Cato asks, running to my side.

"There's a demon at the door," I whisper hiding behind him. Cato looks at me in confusion before he heads to the door, me hiding behind him the whole while and peering over his shoulder when we reach the front of the house. Rivera, the demon, looks up at him with big, innocent brown eyes and a childish smile.

"A demon," He chuckles, looking over his shoulder at me.

"He's faking," I snap back before turning to the child. "Aren't you, you little hooligan?"

"The lady is being mean to me!" He whines to Cato.

"Cyrilla," Cato says in disappointment, like a father talks to his child who just annoyed their sibling. "Don't be mean to the poor kid."

"He's not a kid," I hiss. "He's a demon sent from Hell to ruin my life."

"That's ridiculous," He replies. He turns back to Rivera. "Can we help you, sweetie?"

"My-my parents," He says fake-sobbing. "Kicked me out of the-the house 'cause I didn't wanna do d-drugs like they do and I got nowhere to go so I just thought…"

"Sure, you can stay here!" Cato replies cheerfully.

"YAY!" Rivera claps.

"Come on, we have Oreo cookies in the kitchen," He tells him, leading the demon into his house.

"Use proper grammar!" I shout after the boy before thinking for a minute and then yelling after Cato, "This isn't even your house!"

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><p><strong>If you reviewed the last chapter then Finnick walks in whereing a toga and gives you a plate of beef jerky before riding away on a pegasus. If you didn't review then Cyrilla slaps you and demands to know why you don't make her happy.<strong>

**If you review this chapter then Cato will take you to the Oreo cookies! If you don't review then Rivera will light you on fire. You've been warned.**


	20. Happy Birthday, Finnick

**Sorry I haven't posted on this story in over ten days, I'm dying on the inside. If you know me you know that I almost NEVER let it get over ten days but I was just so unmotivated... Anyway, there is a whole lot of references in this chapter so I'm gonna just point them out as we go along, sorry that's annoying. This may or may not be Part One for Finnick's birthday, being as I don't know if I'm going to do a Part Two or not. Also, I want to do a little experiment. I want to see how many people actually read the author's note! So, in your review or the next PM you send me, put a cookie in it. They look like this (::)**

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><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

I wake up to a smiling Annie, bent over me, holding a plate with two hot chocolate chip muffins. "Happy Birthday Finnick," She smiles. I sit up and we dig into the muffins. For some reason Annie can make desserts and pastries and sweets, but nothing else. No, I don't understand it either, but I'll roll with it.

After breakfast I get dressed and head outside to check the mail. Opening the tiny mailbox, I pull out a few envelopes and run through them in my hands. I received several birthday cards and a half-off coupon to Target. Okay, now that I've checked the mailbox, its time to check the mailpool. Walking over to the side of the house I step onto the pool deck and cast my gaze into the died-up pool. It's filled to the brim with letters and packages, even more so then usual. The post office and I worked out an agreement because I get so much fan mail. They drop off all of my fan mail into my pool instead of by the curb and I slip that ugly lady at the post office named Ursula a few hundreds every now and then. Okay, so maybe it's more of a bribe then an agreement, but I can call it whatever I want. You know why? Today is my Birthday!

Sticking my hand into the giant pile, I come up with a letter that I pull at random. The letters from my fans on my birthday are usually rather nice, which is why I'm doing this. Even the stalkers decide to try and be extra sweet in their own creepy little ways. Opening the letter I find a simple, handwritten poem scribbled down on loose-leaf paper.

_Dear Finnick,_

_It's your birthday, my love_

_You are as beautiful as an angel sent from above_

_I want to run my hands through your silky hair_

_And be with you constantly, my lovely Finnick Odair_

_And I know it'll make your day_

_If finally I just say_

_Will you marry me?_

_If you say yes then together forever we can finally be_

_-Gale_

And there's a plastic ring tapped to the bottom. **(Smallville reference for when *cough spoiler alert for the last episode in season seven cough* Jimmy proposed to Chloe with a plastic ring. It was so sweet!)** Wait, I know this ring, I've seen it in those claw machines at Beef-O-Brady's! I would know. Annie's been trying for ages to get the unicorn on the top shelf. How cheep is that! I decide to write my reply in poetry form as well.

_Dear Gale,_

_You disgusting little creep_

_I'll cut you open and into the ground your blood will seep_

_I will never marry you_

_You have a body that smells like a zoo_

_I'd tell you to go back to your girlfriend but, oh wait, she's in jail_

_With no chance of getting out on bail_

_But she wasn't your girlfriend anyway_

_I hope you get killed to death by a stingray_

_That would make me smile_

_I wish you would get mauled by an albino crocodile_

_So my answer, Gale, is NO_

_On a scale of one to Kung-Fu Panda, you are definitely no Po _**(Kung-Fu Panda reference. I don't watch this show very much at all but I do know that the Panda is named Po)**

_-Love Finnick_

MWAHAHAHA! I laugh evilly to myself as I place my letter inside an envelope and seal it up with my tongue. Oh yeah, Gale wishes he was good enough for this tongue! Oh, that sounded wrong…

"I have a faster way for you to send that," Someone says behind me. I turn around to find Joanna Mason standing there in a pair of black skinny jeans, black converse, and a black jacket, her brown hair tied up in a ponytail and a horned owl sitting on her shoulder.

"Joanna!" I exclaim, running up to her and giving her a hug. "How'd you get here?"

"I took the train," She replies with a smile. "Duh. Happy Birthday Finnick!" She holds out her arm and the owl lifts off into flight, snatching the letter from my hand and soaring away into the sky.

"Hey!" I shout after it.

"Don't worry," She laughs. "It's just taking the letter to whoever you sent it to. It's your birthday present! I know that you send a lot of letters replying to your fans, just like I do, so I wanted to give you a way to reply almost instantly. That owl flies a whole lot faster then the mailing system delivers."

"Thanks, Jo," I smile.

"Don't call me that."

"Sorry, Jo," I say. "But seriously, thanks for the gift."

"Yeah, whatever," She shrugs, turning around to walk away.

"Hey," I call after her. "Aren't you going to stay for the party?"

"Nah," She replies. "Parties and I don't really agree. If you need me I'll be at that hotel down the street."

"The Ogden Hotel?" I gape. She nods. "You realize that that hotel is for drug dealers and prostitutes, right?"

"Exactly," She grins wildly before leaping into a nearby tree and disappearing from my sight.

"Okay then…" I mutter, scratching my head.

**Gale Hawthorne**

I sit on my bed and humming the tune to Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me by Tata Young. That song is so catchy! I gasp as an owl lands outside my window. Have I been invited to Hogwarts at last? **(Wow, I'm just full of references today. Harry Potter reference!)** As I open the letter I found that that is not the case. However, I have been sent a letter from my wonderful Finnick Odair.

Once I read the letter I cannot believe my eyes. Finnick said… NO? But… how could he? There is so much chemistry between us! There must be a reason for this! I'll get to the bottom of this. I'll show them all… I'll show them all that Finnick is meant for me!

**Rivera InsertCloveslastnamehere**

Ha, those idiots won't know what hit them. Annie turns around for a second to take the ice cream out of the freezer and I act in a flash, replacing all of the candles with sticks of dynamite. Annie, being too stupid to know the difference, continues on to plop ice cream into bowls for people to eat with their cake later… or not.

"Alright, time to take the cake out," Annie smiles. She is about to pick it up when I interrupt her.

"Oh, please, Annie, let me carry it," I say in the most innocent voice I can muster.

"Oh, if you insist," She giggles. I pick up the cake and slide it onto the table surrounded by Finnick's idiot friends. They all goggle at the sight of the double-layer triple chocolate fudge cake. I edge my way to the back of the room as she lights the 'candles' and watch from around the corner, what should be a safe distance when the blast goes off.

"_Happy birthday to you_

_Happy birthday to you,"_ Ugh, they need to slow down; otherwise they'll be at the end of the song before the blast.

"_Happy birthday dear Finnick Odair the sexiest man alive,"_ They sing the last part really fast so they can fit it in and I roll my eyes. I know he asked them to do that, but I can't believe they did. He is so not the sexiest man alive. I clench my fists in excitement, the dynamite's almost out.

"WHAT?" Harcourt shrieks at random from the back of the crowd.

"_Happy birthday to you_

_Cha cha cha_

_Ew la la_

_Shish kabob_

_Woo!"_ I plug my ears as the explosion grows eminent. It's going to happen; I am finally going to get revenge on Finnick Odair! YES! But just as everyone is about to go boom, Finnick blows them out at the last second.

"NO!" I yell from where I stand. Everyone ignores me, to fixated on the cake. I bang my head into a wall. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO FINALLY WORK!

**Finnick Odair**

"Time to open presents!" Annie smiles. She hands me a decent sized box wrapped in light blue wrapping paper. "This one is from me." Oh my god, is it an iPad? I think it's an iPad! The box is the right size and shape. I ripe off the paper and find that, alas, it is not an iPad. It's a clear plastic box filled with twenty golf balls, all of different colors.

"Annie," I say gently. "You're the one who likes golf balls, remember?"

"Duh, Megan!" **(Young Justice reference!)** She face palms. She snatches the box out of my grasp and holds it protectively. "More for me then." As she walks away I hear her whispering, "_My precious…_"

"All right then," I mutter, scratching my head. "Who's next?"

"Me!" Cato yells, jumping up and down like a giddy schoolboy. He shoves a small white box at me. "It's from me _and_ Rivera."

"GRAMMAR!" Cyrilla roared from where she stood next to Harcourt with a displeased look on her face.

"That wasn't a proper sentence!" I shoot back. I open the box and gasp at what's inside. "SPONGBOB DVDS!" I exclaim.

"GRAMMAR!"

"Shut up!" I snap. I look at Cato and Rivera with tears in my eyes. "Bless you, bless you."

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><p><strong>I told you there were a lot of references in that chapter. I'm not really sure why, I guess I was just in a referencing mood.<strong>

**If you reviewed the last chapter then Cato knocks on your door before entering. "Follow me!" He smiles before leading you to a giant mountain of oreo cookies. If you didn't review, Rivera pulls out his lighter, smiles evilly and throws the lighter on your house. It burns up in flames while the song Such Horrible Things by Creature Feature plays in the background.**

**If you review this chapter then Annie will give you chocolate muffins! If you don't, then Rivera will put dynamite on your next birthday cake. And don't forget to cookie! (::)**


	21. A Patronymic Chapter

**Hello all! So, this is a continuation of the last chapter, Happy Birthday Finnick! It picks up right where we left off, actually. Enjoy! Oh and I can't believe I've never even down this before but I don't own anything! NOTHING! Taco. NOTHING! Oh and so apparently I forgot to put the Lord of the Rings refernce in the last chapter. Sorry! Oh, well come on, everyone knew it was a reference!**

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><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

"Open the next present!" Rivera prompts, smiling sweetly.

"Your eye is twitching…" I inform him slowly.

"Oh, is it?" He says, laughing slightly. "It does that sometimes. It's a genetic thing really; all the boys in my family had it."

"Had?" I ask, confused.

"HAVE!" Rivera says quickly. "Ha ha ha… I meant have."

"Okay then…" I mutter. Picking up the next box, I rip off the paper to find something a little disappointing. "It's a book."

"Not just any book!" Cyrilla says quickly. "It's a book on manners!"

"This says it's the _Smart Girl's Guide to Manners_," I growl.

"WHAT?" Harcourt yells.

"It's still manners and you need to learn some!" She snaps and continues to mutter, "Besides, you act like a girl, anyway…"

"I heard that," I grumble.

"Do I care?"

"WHAT?"

"Anyway," I say, tossing the book over my shoulder and smiling when I hear the satisfying clunk that signals it went all the way out the window and into the garbage can. "What's the next present?"

"Here," Cato comes forward with a giant cart piled high with boxes and letters. "I scooped some stuff out of the mailpool. You might have gotten something good."

"YAY!" I cheer. I snatch a box off the top and read the paper tapped to the front of it.

_Dear Finnick,_

_You don't have nearly enough pictures so yourself in your house, trust me, I would know. So, I sent you some!_

_-Marvel_

"Oh dear lord…" I say as I open the box to find hundreds of pictures of me throughout the day doing random things like brushing my teeth, watching Super Friends, eating a banana, taking a shower… How did he get into my shower with me without me noticing? What the heck? "Next!" I say quickly.

"Here's one from my sister!" Rivera smiles and holds out a rather large cardboard box.

"She got shot with an arrow, I thought she was dead!" I exclaim. However, I open the envelope that came along with it.

_Dear Finnick,_

_You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen_

_That's why I cut out and sent you my spleen_

_You eyes are a gorgeous green_

_And when I see you I am very keen_

_Actually, I'm not really sure what a spleen is_

_I like Coke most when it has a fizz_

_My brother is staying at your house and he is a 'his'_

_For some reason my rhyming app says that rhymes with chandeliers_

_Happy birthday Finnick!_

_Who so many try to mimic_

_I hope I don't need my spleen, Finnick_

_If I do I hope someone out there is feeling patronymic_

_-Clove_

"That is not even when patronymic means," I say. "And she used my name twice in the same verse! She's falling down on her game."

"Patronymic describes a name derived from a male ancestor's name, especially one that adds a prefix such as 'Mac-' or a suffix such as '-son,' to the earlier name." Cato says, pointing his finger towards the ceiling.

"Nice to know," I say.

"Race to Witch Mountain!" He blurts. Everyone stares at him. "Um, well… just never mind." I open the box and find her spleen indeed inside. I roll my eyes before closing the box up. I ready myself to throw it over my shoulder and into the trash can but Rivera stops me.

"Hey, can I, uh…" He says slowly. "Can I have that?"

"Sure…" I say cautiously, handing it to him. He laughs loudly before grinning wildly and running out of the room at full speed. I shrug it off and turn to Cato again. "Who's next?"

"Here," He hands me a box.

_To be delivered to the one known as Finnick Odair,_

_Upon vast observation of your life style and eating patterns, I have come to the conclusion that life is not greater then the sum of its parts. Due to this epiphany, I have come to a small, simple phrase that will explain the function of the universe and why the world is as it presents itself and takes form in, in this era: TICK TOCK!_

_-Wiress_

Inside the box is a purple clock with hands shaped like Mockingjays. "Well…" I murmur… "That's totally useless!" I read it to my friends and everyone burst out laughing. I chuck the clock and the letter over my shoulder as we settle down.

"Piñata time?" Annie suggests, coming back from wherever she had gone.

"YES!" I nod my head vigorously before rushing out the door the crowd on my heels. I race over the sand to a towering old tree, where a Katniss piñata dangles from its branches. Pulling on a blindfold I pick up my trident—only losers from Twelve would use a bat or a stick. All the cool districts use actual weapons—and launch it in the direction of the piñata. I hear someone scream. "Oops, sorry!" I call out to the random person who had been swimming in the ocean when I impaled them with a trident. I take off the blindfold and we continue on until Harcourt out of all people knocks it down.

"How'd he do that?" I marvel as I slip a Tootsie Roll in my mouth.

"I don't know," Cato admits. "Well… maybe he's used to not seeing things?"

"Yeah, I guess," I nod.

"Guess what time it is?" I hear Annie sing.

"What?" I ask, looking over at her, confused. Surely we've run out of birthday things to do by now. She leaps up, almost ninja-like, and breaks a limb out of the tree. She waves it around in the air merrily. "Birthday spankings!" I'm not sure how loudly I screamed when she said this but it didn't really matter because I was already halfway out of my backyard. I reach the house and throw open the door. Grabbing my coat on the way out the front door I race down the road we live on as fast as I can until I reach the place I know Annie would never guess for me to be at: the Ogden Hotel. I pound on Joanna's door until she opens it with a heavy sigh.

"I'm coming in!" I announce barging past her. I stop dead. "You realize there is a person lying in your bed, right?"

"Yes," She nods calmly, looking at the unconscious man under the sheets.

"And it's a guy," I say slowly. She smiles madly.

"Not for long," She cackles. I take a step back

"I need to stay with you for the rest of the day," I begin.

"Why?" She demands.

"Annie is after me!" I exclaim waving my hands wildly.

"And I should care about this why?" She frowns, folding her arms and leaning up against a slightly blood-stained wall.

"Because it's my birthday," I explain. "And I do not deserve to get thrashed severely with a giant stick on my birthday!"

"Are you sure?"

"Shut up!" I yelp. She rolls her eyes.

"Sure, Finn," She sighs. "You can stay with me… on one condition."

"What?" I ask hesitantly.

"You don't interfere with my business," She says seriously.

"No problem."

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><p><strong>If you reviewed the last chapter Annie wavesto you and leads you to a giant room piled high with chocolate muffins! If you didn't review Rivera waves to you instead and when you walk over there he holds out a birthday cake to you. As everyone sings the Birthday song and the second its over he's gone and you wallpaper your living room with your brain matter.<strong>

**If you review this chapter then you get to beat a Katniss Piñata with Finnick and a trident until your showering in candy. If you don't review this chapter then Annie will chaase you down with a stick and beat you to death. Have a nice day!**


	22. Nothing!

**Ok, I am sooooooo sorry that it took me this long to upload this chapter! But I can explain! First, the Admins decided it would be a good idea to take down my old SYOT Quiet Like the Snow, that I had JUST FINISHED *growls*, and ban me from posting for a few days. Then, I really wanted to do the Reaping for my new SYOT The Kill so I did that instead of this. Then, it was the end of the school year, so I was all, "Woah, it's the end of the school year so I'm going to slack off and not do anything! Wahoo!" So... yeah.**

***Sings to the tune of the Twelve Days of Christmas* On the first day of summer Rose Hunter gave to you a new FOMS chapter! **

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><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

"Frank, sweetie, that ain't nearly enough." I hear Joanna say. Groaning, I roll over and cover my head in my pillow trying to block the sound out. It doesn't work very well. "Now that's enough money! No, you're not gonna wanna take more then five o' those at a time, otherwise you're gonna be takin' a one way trip to Dead Valley, population: you."

"Alright," I hear a scraggly-sounding voice say. "Thanks, Joanna."

"No biggy." I look up to find her standing at the back door of the room, watching as some kid runs off into the district carrying a paper bag and a small knife. Pulling myself out of my makeshift bed—it's made out of some blankets, a piece of cardboard and pillow stuffing—I walk over to join her at the door.

I yawn before asking, "What was that?"

"Nothing!" She says quickly, slamming the door closed. I shrug and turn around to lie back down when I see another naked person lying in her bed, this one different. This one is a girl, actually, with brown hair and her shotgun sits on the table next to the bed.

"Why is there a-" I'm cut off as Joanna holds a finger to my mouth.

"No, no," She smiles. Grabbing my shoulders, she turns me around and pushes me out the door. "I really think it's time for you to go."

"Alright," I nod, heading out the back door and closing it behind me. The Ogden Hotel is run down, with the paint peeling off the walls and holes slowly being drilled in the wooden ceiling from the weather. I doubt they'll ever get fixed. As I walk by the back doors of the other rooms, I can hear some pretty weird things, including a duck quacking, a gunshot, and what sounds like a giant gummy bear getting attacked by a T-Rex. Yeah, I'm not entirely sure what that last one was.

I quickly head away from the Ogden Hotel, as it is insanely weird ad disturbing, and walk until I reach my house. Opening the front door, I walk inside to hear murmuring coming from the living room.

"Finnick Odair, you worthless hob knocker…" I hear Rivera muttering. I stick my head through the doorway and see him sitting on the couch, rubbing his hands together and chuckling manically. He doesn't realize I'm here. "I shall have my revenge on you. I shall have my revenge!" He starts laughing evilly but it is quickly reduced to coughing.

"Um, Rivera?" I say. He yelps, much like a puppy would, and jumps off the couch in surprise. "Oh, sorry, didn't mean to scare you. But what the heck are you doing?"

"Nothing!" He yells. I raise an eyebrow. "I mean, I was just… um… well, I was just… practicing my lines for my audition for the villain in the new movie Finnick Odair: Savior of Mankind. So, yeah, it was just acting… ha ha ha…"

"Oh," I smile. "In that case, carry on, by all means." I leave the living room and head into the kitchen. Going into the fridge I get out a slice of cake and begin to eat it. Enjoying the flavor, I sit down at the table. Suddenly, something flutters in through an open window. My owl that Johanna gave me, who I've decided to name Allen, lands on the table, a dead rat clutched in his claws. That's so gross. Then he eats it. That's even worse. "You can have the rest of my cake." I tell Allen, my appetite spoiled by his diet of rodents. That was just disturbing.

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><p><strong>If you reviewed the last chapter then Finnick hands you a stick a points you towards a Katniss Pinata which you hit until it breaks open and you are showered in candy and Chucky Cheese tickets! WAHOO! If you didn't review the last chapter, then Annie appears behind you with a stick, screams "DIE!" and then beats you to death.<strong>

**Review this chapter and Allen will give you some of his cake! Don't review and Rivera will begin plotting your demise.**


	23. It's Raining, It's Pouring

**Okay, so I got the inspiration for this chapter from the fact that its been raining for practically a week straight where I am. But don't worry, it finally stopped and today is sunny! Which is sad for me, 'cause I love the rain. But oh well. **

***sings to tune of the Twelve Days of Christmas* On the third day of summer Rose Hunter gave to you a new FOMS chapter! *talks* Sure, I skipped the second day, but whatever. Now read!**

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><p><strong>Rivera InsertCloveslastnamehere<strong>

I cackle as I drop one of the manatee eyeballs into the concoction sitting in the cauldron. The potion is almost complete. I'm not a wizard, but I picked up a few tricks from my sister. I giggle as I throw the final ingredient, Clove's spleen, into the mix. A bright flash of green light covers the room and an emerald beam shoots into the sky. Dark clouds begin to swirl and thunder rumbles so loud I can barely hear myself manically laugh. I am going to give this District a storm so powerful only I, who will be hiding out in an underground bunker, will survive. Then, and only then, will I have my revenge on Finnick Odair!

**Finnick Odair**

I throw the tarp over the mailpool to protect it from getting rained on just before the water starts to fall from the sky. Lightning streaks down and sets a nearby house on fire but I ignore it, rushing back inside and slamming the door closed behind me. Sighing in relief of not getting wet, I head upstairs to go find Annie and make sure she's alright. Rain pounds relentlessly against the ground as I open the door to one of the bedrooms.

"Mom, it's going to be alright," I hear Annie say in her usual quiet voice as I walk inside.

"No!" Cyrilla shrieks. She sits in a chair in one of the corners shaking uncontrollably while Annie sits on the ground next to her, holding her hand. "No it's not!" Thunder rumbles in the distance and she screams like a little girl on a roller coaster ride. "The sky demons, they are coming for me!"

"What is she talking about?" I ask, walking over to them. Cyrilla's eyes are dilated and her breathing is unnaturally fast.

"I'm not sure," Annie replies, patting her mother's hand and giving her a paper bag to breathe into but her mother ignores it.

Lighting strikes somewhere in the distance. "Zeus is reaping his unholy vengeance!" She yells covering her ears as thunder claps.

"I don't understand what's going on." I say.

"WHAT?" Harcourt shouts in the background over the roar of the storm outside. I shake my head sadly and decide to leave the room. Heading back downstairs I walk into my living room to see something very… weird. Cato is dressed in some sort of Native American outfit, holding a zebra-shaped wooden staff and dancing around like a live chicken standing on hot embers.

"What on Earth are you doing?" I ask, leaning against the wall.

"It's a rain dance!" He replies, not stopping his odd series of movements. "I'm trying to stop it from storming!"

"Isn't a rain dance supposed to _make_ it rain?" I ask. He cuts off abruptly.

"Oh, right…" He mutters. Suddenly, he looks up as if he's had an idea. "I must do it backwards!" As he continues to do so I sigh. I live with crazy people. I ignore Cato and sit down on the couch. Turning the TV on, I change the channel to Nick and laugh as SpongeBob accidentally crashes into a mountain. Ouch. Suddenly, the TV cuts off and I gap at the blackened screen. The lights in my house follow quickly.

"The power just went off," Cato notices as my eye twitches.

"No," I whisper, falling to my knees. "WHY? CRUEL WORLD, WHY?"

"Well," Cato says as he rain dances backwards. "You see, Finnick, power comes from-"

"Shut up!" I yell. "Can't you see I'm mourning?" I point at the blank screen. "He was so young…"

"Who is _he_?" Cato asks, scratching his head as he moonwalks.

"The episode, you fool!" I screech. "He was so young! There was still fourteen minutes and twenty-eight seconds left!"

"Ok, whatever," Cato shrugs, doing to Cat Daddy. I facepalm. He's hopeless. Annie walks in from the kitchen carrying a rather large needle. I hear Cato squeak at the sight of it, but I ignore him.

"Annie, what are you doing?" I ask, tilting my head to the side.

"Mom is getting too panicked," She replies calmly, squirting a few drops of blue liquid out of the tip of the needle. "I'm going to sedate her."

"Good luck with that," I say as Cato does the Jerk in the background. Annie heads upstairs and I hear a scream from Cyrilla but it is quickly cut off and a loud _thump_ echoes through the house as she falls unconscious on the ground. Or that's what I assume happened.

"_Hello_," The TV says cutting back on. I clap. "_There is a tornado watch- no, warning, in Districts Three and Four. Citizens are advised to take cover however they can_." The TV cuts off again and when I try to turn it back on its no use.

"NO!" I cry out in vain.

The winds outside begin to go faster and faster. They rip one of my palm trees right out of the ground as the house begins to shake. I gasp as the clouds above the ocean outside the window begin to swirl and move downwards, picking up ocean water and sending fish flying in all directions. The tornado touches down on the ocean and sends major waves slamming up against the beach.

"Get under a table!" I shout, diving under the coffee table.

"Finnick, that's for earthquakes." Cato says calmly.

"Everyone put on goggles!" I yell.

"That's for volcano eruptions."

"Go into the storm cellar!"

"That's- That's actually right, but we don't have a storm cellar. There is to much limestone for people to drill into the ground, everyone's houses would fall into sink holes."

"I know!" I climb out form under the table and point towards the ceiling like people do when they have an idea. "I need to head upwards!" I race up the stairs.

"That's for fires!" Cato calls after me but his words don't register in my mind. "And that's what _not_ to do!" I run into a random room, the one Rivera had been staying in, and dive for safety under his bed. In my hast, I knock over a completely inconspicuously normal smoking cauldron. It falls to the ground with a _clang_ and its soup-like contents spill out across the floor. Almost instantly, the rain and thunder stop. Looking out the window, I find the sky completely cleared up, the sun shining brightly and the sea gulls flying in the skies once again.

"No!" Rivera shouts, running in suddenly and bending over his cauldron. "No! You fool, you broke the spell! It should have worked! It was fool proof! FOOL PROOF!"

"Sorry, Rivera," I say, not having the faintest clue what he's talking about. "But look on the bright side… the weather has cleared up!"

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><p><strong>If you reviewed the last chapter then Allen the owl flies in through your window and drops some slightly-eaten cake in fornt of you. If you didn't review, Rivera sits in a random dark corner muttering, "I'll get you, and your little non-reviewing butt, too. I'll show you. I'll show you all!"<strong>

**Review this chapter and Cato will backwards rain-dance at your next party! Don't review and Rivera will set fire to your next party. **


	24. A New Kind of Soda

**So, I went all out on the references for this chapter! There is a reason for most of it, though, this time! Finnick watches TV a lot, so... yeah. I'm not giving anything away! Okay, I'll try not to miss anything: Phineas and Ferb, Teen Titans, Young Justice, Star Wars, Danny Phantom, the song White And Nerdy, and the Wizard of Oz. Yep, I am just soooooooo normal! XD**

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><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

"Here, try this!" Johanna says loudly marching up to me and shoving a cup filled with a pinkish liquid in my face. I sit on the sofa, watching a SpongeBob episode. Cato is at his anger management class and Annie is out shopping at the mall with Rivera and her parents. Wait… how did Johanna get into my house?

"What is it?" I ask, taking the cup tentatively.

"Just a little something." She says grinning. "Let's say… it's a new kind of soda."

"Whatever," I shrug, taking a sip. It has a weird taste to it, strawberry-like in a way. It slides down my throat with ease but leaves an unpleasant aftertaste on my tongue. Kind of like medicine, actually. "Good, but a horrible aftertaste."

"Okay," Johanna giggles. She seems to remember something and snaps her fingers. "Oh, I have a… um… thing to get to… yeah… bye!" She quickly darts out of the room and I shrug. She is truly one of the weirdest people I have ever met. And that's saying something.

About fifteen minutes later, I'm still sitting on my couch watching SpongeBob. What? It's _SpongeBob_! They're having a marathon leading up to four new episodes tonight at eight! Suddenly, I begin to feel a little dizzy. Then, I'm feeling _really_ dizzy. I fall off the couch, landing on my hands and knees, panting. Wait… when did my floor turn bright yellow? I hate the color yellow, it's so obnoxious!

"Ugh, I hate yellow!" I blurt out loud. The world sways and I fall over onto my side.

"What was that, Finnick?" I hear a high-pitched voice say. I look up in shock to see SpongeBob standing in my room, his yellow arms crossed and a slightly angry look on his face. The walls over my living room are now covered in Brittany Spears wallpaper and my TV is made of Swiss cheese. Hmm, I wonder when that happened.

"Except on you SpongeBob! Yellow looks great on you!" I say quickly, pulling myself to my feet, even though I'm almost positive I've going to fall over again. I try to use the lamp made of grass to hold myself up but it falls to the floor, the shards transforming in ants the second they break away from each other. The insects begin to grow and grow, until they are the size of mice. I scream as they begin to crawl up my leg, the red creatures covering every inch of my body.

"I do enjoy my golf balls." I hear Annie say, even though she's at the mall. I see her run by me in a bunny costume, her pink ears dragging the ground behind her as she races to save the baby elephant from the volcano that my blender turned into. Cato is on the ceiling eating a burrito and whispering love poems to it in foreign languages. Meanwhile, Johanna is in a conga line with a bunch of oversized chipmunks, her normally brown hair now a purple afro the width and height of a golden retriever.

"Never insult yellow," I hear SpongeBob say in a sort of echo-y voice.

"Don't smoke kids," I hear Superman say in an equally distant voice. "It doesn't make you grown up, it makes you a loser." More voices begin to reverberate inside the catacombs known as my ear lobes.

"Use the force, Luke. Use the force…"

"Oh cheese logs!"

_ "Why do my nostrils whisper to me?"_

"I knew I should have gotten a down payment on the elephants."

"That's as pointless as watermelon juice!"

"Put the bunny in the box and nobody gets hurt."

"But those aren't _my_ pants!"

_ "I'm just too white and nerdy"_

"But-but the spell! You should need me like… like a mother kitten needs store bought orange juice! I don't understand! Why don't you love me?"

"Evil beware. We have waffles."

"FEEL THE WRATH OF MY LINT ROLLER!"

"Not now, Mom. I have to get this car into the sky!"

"You're overwhelmed… Freeze was underwhelmed… how come no one is ever just whelmed?"

"The unicorns have my large intestine!"

"Why is there duct tape on my collectable zebra?"

Someone screams. I think it might have been me. Suddenly everything goes black. "AHH- WHELMED!" I yell; sitting up, sweat beading on my forehead and my chest heaving up and down as I pant. Annie, Johanna and Cato stand over me, concerned expressions on their faces. My head feels like a jackhammer is beating on the inside of my skull and my stomach is rolling over inside my belly. "Oh, guys… I just had the weirdest dream." I point to each of them as I continue. "And you were there… and you were there… and you were there!"

"Okay…?" Cato raises his eyebrows and takes a step back.

"Finnick, that wasn't a dream," A random doctor says, walking into the room and holding a clipboard. "There were hallucinogens in your-"

"A what?" I interrupt, tilting my pounding head.

"Drugs," He says with a sigh. "There were drugs in your system."

I turn to Johanna, a shocked expression on my face and a guilty one on hers. "How could you?" I demand. "You- you put drugs in that drink you gave me! It really _was_ medicine! Why, Joanna? Why would you do that?"

She hesitates before replying, "I was bored."

"Wait," I say suddenly. "What time is it?"

"Near midnight," The doctor answers, looking at a clock.

"Oh no." I breathe; emotional pain shooting threw my body. My eye twitches.

"What is it?" The doctor asks, confused.

I take a deep breathe, shaking, and look at them with tears in my eyes. "I missed the new SpongeBob episodes!"

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><p><strong>If you reviewed the last chapter then you are sitting at your party when suddenly Cato parachutes down from a helicopter and starts to backwards rain dance to the song White and Nerdy. Because that song is awesome. If you didn't review the last chapter (-_-) you are sitting at your party when you notice your leg is incredibly hot. You look down to find your leg on fire and the last thing you see is a wall of flame eating you alive :D<strong>

**If you review this chapter then Cato will read you poetry he wrote in foreign languages! If you don't review, then Joanna will slip drugs into your morning coffee. Have a nice day! XD**


	25. Girls' Night Out

**Hello lovely readers! I have an announcement to make! Exciting, right? Well, this time it is! My next chapter will require an army of Finnick stalkers! Want to sign up? In your review, put a brief description of your stalker's appearance and personality, along with the name you want them to go by! I can't promise your character will have a big part, but I can promise that I will try to mention everyone! Please, please, PLEASE SEND STALKERS IN!**

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><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

I sit on the couch, looking through the guide on the TV and trying to find out when the SpongeBob episodes will come on again. I'm not having a good time. I can't find them anywhere! I growl and throw the remote at the wall in annoyance. Magically, it doesn't visibly break, just falls to the floor with a _smack_. Hmm, should I go pick it up? Nah, I'm too lazy.

The house is annoyingly quiet. Why, you ask? Because it's just Rivera, Cato, Harcourt and I here. Yep, the girls went for a girls' night out, so it's a quiet night at home for the guys. It's not a big deal or anything. What could go wrong?

**Johanna Mason**

I hear a soft knocking on my door. Shoving my stilettos on unceremoniously, I half fall, half walk to the door. Twisting the rusted doorknob, I find Annie and some random chick standing on the other side.

"That outfit is not appropriate!" The lady I don't know bursts. "And this place is simply horrid. It smells like rotting fish! And why is the ceiling such a hideous color? And your skin tone simply disgusts me. Also-"

"Who's the old hag?" I ask, cutting the elderly chick off. She looks offended. Yay!

"This is my mother," Annie replies, in her usual, soft tone.

"Well, she annoys me," I say simply. I step out into the hallway and lock the door behind me. "Are we ready?"

"Yes," Annie answers. The two of us—Cyrilla doesn't count—make our way out into the parking lot. We climb into my car, a dark red pickup truck, and head off. Yes, cars still exist. Why do you ask?

"What movie are we going to see?" I ask when we stop at a red light.

"Let's see Eat, Pray, Fight to the Death!" Cyrilla says, clasping her hands together in excitement.

"I kind of wanted to see Snow White and the Seven Bloodbathers…" Annie murmurs.

"We should see Race to Witch Mountain." I say. They all look at me. "What?"

"How about we skip the movie?" Annie suggests. She points to something out the window. "Let's go eat there!"

"Okay," I agree. I turn and park outside the restaurant. Glancing at the sign, I read _Gill's Grill_. Well, okay then. We step inside the door and a rather bored looking waitress leads us to our table. I look on the menu to see things like shark intestines, fried fish scales and crab feet. This is going to be… _interesting_.

**Cato InsertCatoslastnamehere**

"Well," I say slowly. "This is boring."

"Yep…" Finnick nods.

"Totally," Rivera grumbles, his head propped up on his arm.

"WHAT?" Harcourt yells, eating a banana. The four of us sit around the dinning room table doing absolutely nothing.

"I wonder what the girls are doing right now." I say, scratching my chin.

**Johanna Mason**

"I told you not to eat that last shrimp!" Cyrilla yells as we leap behind a table for shelter from the gunfire.

"But it had frosting!" I whine as Annie crawls over to join us. Cradled in her arms are tons of oysters. "Um… _why_?"

"We can throw them at the cannibal robots!" She explains. Leaping to her feet, she chucks the things at our attackers, Cyrilla and I watching over the top of the booth. She has perfect aim, the projectiles hitting them all on the _self destruct_ buttons. They drop to the ground and we all shriek happily.

"Hey!" The Chinese lady who owns the restaurant stomps over to us. Oh man, she does not look happy. "How _dare_ you do this to my restaurant?" I glance around. The place is totaled. Chairs and tables are thrown everywhere, food splattered on the walls and ceiling, the monkeys dangling from the chandelier.

"I was bored." I reply with a shrug. She looks like she's about to murder me with her bare hands, so I fake-gasp and point to a random spot behind her. "Look out! Cannibal robots!" She gasps and wheels around to see what I'm pointing at.

"Grammar!" Cyrilla yells as I grab her and Annie by the wrists and pull them behind me as we race out of the building.

"Thank you for the fortune cookies!" Annie yells, grabbing a giant bowl of the cookies as we rush out the door. I can practically hear Cato in my head saying how fortune cookies aren't actually Chinese and blah, blah, blah as we leap into the car and drive away from the place as fast as we can.

"Well," I say slowly. "Where to next?"

**Rivera InsertCloveslastnamehere**

"So _bored_…" I grumble, falling out of my chair and sprawling out over the floor. Normally I would be trying to kill Finnick and exact my revenge, but I'm too tired to even do that. I've been bored all day, and being bored makes me tired.

"Me, too," Finnick, grumbles, slumping down in his chair.

"WHAT?" Harcourt shouts.

"You really need a hearing aid." Finnick tells him.

"WHAT?"

"Rivera, it's kind of late," Cato says, glancing at me. "Maybe you should go to sleep?"

"It's only seven o' clock." I say, looking at my watch.

"Exactly," Cato saying, his expression completely serious. I have to repress the urge to face palm. "It's past your bedtime."

"B-but," I say, making my lip tremble and my eyes get watery. "I can't g-go to s-sleep with the girls out! What if s-something happens?"

"Nothing's going to happen," Cato says reassuringly. "Now off to bed."

"Cato, let him stay," Finnick says, closing his eyes. "If the kid wants to be here he can be."

Cato sighs. "I hope the girls aren't as bored as we are."

**Johanna Mason**

"FOUR!" Annie screams. Everyone in the mini golf place hits the deck as Annie's golf ball goes flying through the air. It breaks a window and she jumps up and down, clapping and beaming so much I think she may explode.

"Annie," Cyrilla snaps, leaping to her feet and pointing her finger at her daughter. "You broke a window! That is impolite!"

Annie doesn't even seem to notice. She just continues to vibrate and grin. "GOLF BALLS!" She screams before waving her golf club in the air and running off to some random location.

"You know you are going to have to pay for that, right?" I hear a voice behind me say. Turning, I find a rather plump girl standing there, her dirty blonde hair is tied up in a ponytail and the mascara on her hazel eyes is applied heavily.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." I shrug. "Wait… I know you from somewhere."

"You do?" She raises an eyebrow and puts a hand on her hip.

"You're Delly!" I say, snapping my fingers. She nods. "Yeah, your older brother is one of my… _clients_. You're one of Finnick's stalkers! So… what are you doing here?"

"I have to make a living here in Four somehow." She shrugs, crossing her arms.

"I can live with that explanation." I decide.

"FOUR!" I hear Annie scream again. Another window breaks somewhere in the building.

"Hey," I turn to Delly. "I'll give you a hundred if you tell your boss that zombies broke the windows trying to get to the life-sized plastic hippo because they thought it was real and they were going to eat it."

"Sure," She shrugs. I slip her the bill. "I'm trying to save money."

"Oh, for college?" I ask.

"No, for my wedding with Finnick." She says, as if it's obvious. "We are going to get married at my Uncle Adolf's farm in District Eleven, standing in cow manure while we take our vows."

"Um…" I mumble. "How romantic…?"

"I know," She sighs, getting lost in her own little world. I back away slowly. If I don't make any sudden movements, she won't see me.

**Harcourt Cresta**

"M… b… ha… fl… da… er… se?" I hear someone say. I reach out my hands and feel around until I find their face. Is that their nose? No, I think it's their eyeball. Oh, no, it's their mouth! Ha! It's their mouth, that's what it is!

"I… hi… ey… re… od… im… wh… ld… th?" Another person asks.

"WHAT?" I yell, trying to figure out what they are saying. Why are they all speaking so quietly? And why is everything always so blurry? AND WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BANANA?

**Johanna Mason**

"Oh my god…" I breathe as I watch the jailhouse go up in flames. "This is horrible… my cousin was in there!"

"Johanna, I'm so sorry," Annie says as she drives the car, trying to get away from the fire as quickly as possible.

"You don't understand," I snap. "He owed me ten dollars!" Suddenly, something leaps in front of the car and we swerve to a stop, leaving skid marks on the road. "Oh, no, please don't be more tigers…. No more tigers…" The dark figure in front of us steps towards the light, their arm shielding their eyes from our blinding headlights.

"Katniss!" Annie squeaks, covering her mouth her with hands. The girl that I have never seen before takes a step towards us on wobbly legs, a bloody dagger clutched in her hands.

"Who?" Cyrilla and I ask at the same time.

"Well, Katniss, it certainly was nice to see you again," Annie says quickly, turning the keys in the ignition and trying to get the car started up again. "But we really must being going!" Suddenly, she hit the gas and I was thrown back against my seat. The Katniss girl hit the front of the car before becoming a living speed bump. We hear her scream as we bounce over her, Annie tearing down the road like the girl is the reincarnation of Jack the Ripper.

"That was bad manners, Annie!" Cyrilla yells over the pounding of the wind in our ears. The roof of my truck got ripped off when the prison guards started throwing grenades. I wonder if my insurance will cover that…

"But she tried to kill Finnick!" Annie exclaims. "Twice!"

"So?" Cyrilla shrugs and I glare at her. "What?"

"I'll have to tell Finnick she broke out of jail when we get home…" Annie says.

**Finnick Odair**

I leap to my feet when I hear the front door open. Racing down the hallway, I find Cyrilla and Annie standing in the doorway, looking completely worn out. "Did you guys have fun?" I ask.

"Yup," Annie smiles and I kiss her on the forehead.

"Ug…" Cyrilla moans, tossing her purse on the ground and kicking off her high heels. "My… No movie… Truck… Cannibal… Robots!"

"What?" I ask, tilting my head to the side in confusion.

"Nothing," Annie says quickly. "Did you guys have a fun night?"

"Oh, yeah," I nod. "We did lots of stuff. Most un-boring night of my- Oh, who am I kidding? IT WAS HORRIBLE! NEVER EVER LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THEM AGAIN!" I wail, burying my face in her shirt.

Later that night, I am sliding under the covers. I glance over at Annie who has her hands folded behind her head and a thoughtful look on her face. "What is it?" I ask.

"I feel like there was something I was supposed to tell you…" She says, scratching her chin.

I think for a moment and then shrug. "It couldn't have been too important."

* * *

><p><strong>If you reviewed the last chapter then Cato gives you a flower and begins his foreign poem: "Roser er rode, violer er bla, jeg er darlige til poesi, ga gore mig en sandwhich." That was Danish by the way. If you didn't review then you take a sip of your morning coffee and you suddenly see tacos raining from the sky and vicious banana men with pyrokinesis trying to bomb the presidential campaigne.<strong>

**If you review this chapter (and submit yourself as a stalker) you might find yourself in the next chapter! If you don't review this chapter, then you die in the next chapter. Have a nice day! :D**


	26. Waterway Dream

**My computer is crazy. Okay, time for me to talk! First of all, I'd like to thank Bunnikat for handing out cookies for the reviewers ;) and kudos to her for using Danish! Also, The Nightmare in this chapter is based heavily on Sheikra (did I spell that write? It's either that or Shiekra, i'm not sure which) at Busch Gardens, so, yep. Actually, the entire theme park is based on Busch Gardens. Also, I want to say that I don't think those camera necklace things are for lazy people, they are actually really useful! And no offense to romance novels or gingers about what may or may not be said. I LOVE YOU ALL! I apoligize to Brahian for using a character named Ryun, which "accidentally" happens to be a lot like his character, Ryan. Teehee. Also, I quoted This Means War! also by Brahian. You should go check it out, it's a really good story! Okay, in this chapter, whether your character was an Agent or a Captain was chosen randomly. I made sure that EVERY one of your characters got face time, and because of that, this is the longest chapter of Finnick Odair's Many Stalkers ever! WAHOO! Seriously, it's looooong. So, tell me if you think its too long or if you like it this long. **

**If you are an awesome person and read my SYOT called The Kill, you may have noticed that I added a new chapter. Also, you may have noticed that it won't let you review the new chapter in that story. It's because I took out the first chapter and thus the new chapter became the fifth chapter instead of the sixth and... Okay, if you can't review it means you already reviewed the fifth chapter and, I suggest that you just log out, type your username in and leave a review, but make sure you sign it at the buttom as well. Or just PM me your review. Or me a lazy jerk and don't review it at all. Whatever floats your boat!**

* * *

><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

"Are we there yet?" Rivera groans, banging his head against the back of my seat.

"No!" The bus driver snaps. We rented a van and a driver to drive us, since the only one of us who _can_ legally drive is Johanna and we couldn't all fit into her pickup truck, unless five of us rode in the back. So, we got a van and a smelly old dude with an ear piercing to drive it.

"Are we there yet?" Rivera whines again.

"No!" The driver growls back.

"Are we there yet?" Rivera asks, slamming his head into the back of my seat again.

"NO!" Everyone screams.

"Oh…" He mumbles.

"Okay," Cyrilla says. "So, we'll go here when we arrive precisely at nine when it opens. Then, we will go straight to the bathrooms."

"Oh thank god!" Cato exclaim, wiggling in his seat. "I _need_ to _pee_!"

"After that," Cyrilla rolls her eyes. "At exactly nine ten, we will head-"

"Cyrilla," I sigh. "Do you _have_ to plan out the _entire_ day?"

"Yes!" She snaps. "We must have a schedule!"

"Whatever." I roll my eyes.

"Look!" Rivera shouts, almost bouncing up and down. "There it is!" We all press our faces up against the windows, staring out at the magnificent structures that loom over us. Roller coasters, log flumes, animals… Waterway Dream is the biggest theme park in all of Panem. "Wahoo!"

"I think he's excited." Annie whispers, pecking me on the cheek as our van pulls up to the curve.

"Alright," The driver grumbles. "Everybody get off!"

"You'll be here to pick us up at ten, right?" I clarify as he practically pushes me off after everyone else.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," He shrugs before taking off. I turn and with a grin look up at the Nightmare, their tallest roller coaster, its black and blue tracks and pillars scraping at the sky, shrieks of people echoing through the air.

"Oh, yes," Rivera says with a smile, his hand cupped beside his ear. "Screams. The call of the screwed." He laughs uncontrollably for a minute before getting it back under control. "This is my kind of place."

"Oh my gosh!" I hear someone behind me exclaim. "It's Finnick Odair!"

"It is!" Another voice squeals and suddenly I feel two pairs of arms wrap themselves around my neck.

"Oh no," I mutter. The stalkers are here, too! Why didn't I think about this? I should have known they would be here.

"Finnick, oh my god, I _love_ your abs!" One of the girls says coming around and beaming at me, her face inches from mine. If I was a cartoon there would be one of those giant awkward beads of sweat beside my head right now. The girl who stands in front of me is now stroking my abs. She has wild curly red hair, freckles all over herself and huge hazel eyes which are currently stretched so wide I think they might fall out of her skull. "My name is Cassie! I love you _sooooo_ much! Especially your abs! I have a name for each of the little six-pack thingies. This one is Steve, this only is Carly- Oh, all the ones on the left are boys, and all the ones on the right are girls since I wanted to keep it even. Okay, so, as I was saying, teehee; this one is named Carly, this one is named Frank…" She continues to talk but I kind of ignore her since the other girl has made her way to the front of me as well and is currently shoving a rubber waffle in my face.

"Hi!" She squeaks, jumping up and down and waving her hand frantically. This one has her straight red hair tied up in a green ribbon that matches her bright green eyes. Also, she wears a green shirt with a picture of cartoon pancakes on them. And guess what color her shorts are? Green. Surprising, right? She reminds me of Artemis, with all of the green. You know, Green Arrow's 'niece.' So maybe I watch too many superhero shows. Who are you to judge? "My name is Lila! Do you want a rubber waffle? I make them at my factory! Oh, look, I have one that I carved your face into!" Indeed, she holds out a rubber waffle with almost an exact replica of my face on it.

"That's nice…?" I say, raising an eyebrow and taking a step away from the crazy girls smiling psychotically at me. "Maybe I'll, uh, see you guys around the park?"

"Oh, you will," Cassie says nodding enthusiastically, her curls bouncing. "Not that we're going to follow you or anything…"

"Phf, yeah, w-why would we d-do that?" Lila giggles, making an odd expression and still looking like she may explode from excitement.

"Well, okay then," I say. "I'm just going to back away now…"

"Okay!" Cassie squeaks. "See you at you house- I mean around! Teehee!" I turn and walk away quickly. Those two should be in an asylum. I'd say Arkam Asylum, but they'd probably team up with the Joker and kidnap me in my sleep.

"What was that about?" Annie asks quietly as I join her at the ticket line. She puts her admission pass in the machine and it lowers the gate to let her through and into the park.

"More stalkers," I grumble, sticking my own ticket in the machine. A small red light turns on and the ticket comes back out of the slot, much like a vending machine when your dollars are crinkled. I stick it back in and growl when it gets rejected again.

"Oh, allow me," A new voice says. A girl appears beside me in a pair of jean shorts and a white T-shirt with the Batman symbol on it. Her dirty blonde hair flows over her shoulders and her blue-green eyes glitter mysteriously. She sweeps her hand over the turnstile and a wave of blue mist rolls off her arm. The red light cuts off and the gate drops. I gape at her. "My name is Rose by the way."

"How did you do that?" I ask in shock.

She shrugs. "I'm the author." Rose disappears in a puff of blue smoke, leaving me standing there, rather confused. Um… what just happened?

**Rivera InsertCloveslastnamehere**

"There it is…" I mutter, staring up at the Nightmare rollercoaster. The hulking thing is a free-falling dive coaster, towering overhead. Its two hundred feet tall with a ninety degree angle drop straight down. Before you fall to your doom, however, you stop and the ride dangles you two hundred feet in the air, staring straight down at the ground far below you. After that, you plummet and then ascend in a loop, which is one hundred and fifty feet by itself, and then fall from a hundred foot drop into a tunnel… _then_—yeah, I'm not done yet—you swoop down over a lake, skimming the surface of the water before returning to the station.

"Yep," Cato nods beside me.

"The line is only five minutes long." I notice.

"Yep," Cato says, his voice cracking a little.

"So…" I say slowly, not taking my eyes off one of the car as it reaches the top of the hill, turning to face the drop. "You want to go on?"

"Yeah," He looks a little uncertain. "But… we can't go on without eating first… right?"

"Right," I say quickly. "Got to eat something first. I didn't even have breakfast."

"Me neither," He says.

"Now that I think about it, I'm starving." I say. "Let's go!" We walk away from the Nightmare hastily. I glance over my shoulder and sigh. Thank god.

**Cyrilla Cresta**

"Oh, the majestic beauty of the animals," I sigh, sitting down next to my husband on a bench. Annie is off feeding some of the birds and I pull my romance novel out of my purse and pick up where I left off. Eve just got captured by the pirates and the captain turns out to be her long lost husband! Eek! So much drama!

"WHAT?" Harcourt yells scaring off the flock of birds Annie was feeding.

"Nothing," I sigh.

"WHAT?"

"NOTHING!" I scream back. He nods, seeming to have actually heard me for once.

"Mom, you shouldn't be reading in a theme park." Annie says, walking over and sitting on my left. "You should be enjoying yourself."

"I _am_ enjoying myself," I say. "But I'm doing it with this book and this bench."

"But you can read at home," She complains, while managing to not actually sound like she's complaining. She always sounds calm. Always. "You should do something you _can't_ do at home, like ride a ride or something."

"I am doing something I can't do at home." I reply, a little annoyed. She looks at me expectantly. "I'm reading in a theme park!"

**Finnick Odair**

"So, Jo," I say as Johanna and I wait in the line for the Anubis roller coaster. "How are things?"

"Good, good," She nods. "And don't call me Jo!"

"Okay, Jo," I nod and she face palms.

"Finnick Odair!" Someone behind me shrieks. I turn around to find a girl pushing her way through the crowd, grinning wildly. Oh no. Not again. She is tall, tan and skinny, with black hair and big brown eyes. She kind of resembles Lana from Smallville. I really _do_ watch too many Superhero shows. Oh well. "OMG I've always wanted to meet you in person! My name is Aria! I love you!"

"Okay…?" I mutter as she wraps her arms around one of mine and refuses to let go even when I try to shake her off. "Can… can I help you?"

"I love you!" She shouts, ignoring my question. "We are going to get married and have five kids named Avery, Nathan, Margaret, Sasha and Ramon!"

"That's nice," I say, still struggling against her grip.

"Isn't it?" She squeals starting to jump up and down excitedly, practically pulling my arm out of its socket. "I've been stalking-I mean, observing you for a year now… we'd be so perfect together! As soon as you ditch the red head we can head off back to District One where I live and then live happily ever after!"

"Hey, loony," Johanna cuts in, pushing her off me easily. My arm is tingling from the fact that she was cutting off the circulation. "Back off!" Aria hisses at Johanna whose eye twitches.

"I'll be back," Aria says creepily before melting into the crowd.

**Cato InsertCatoslastnamehere**

"So…" I say slowly, staring up at the Nightmare again. "You ready to go on now that we've eaten?"

"Um…" Rivera glances around. "I have to use the bathroom!"

"Okay," I nod and we take off away from the Nightmare. That's a relief.

**Annie Cresta**

"Mom lets do something," I urge her.

"We are doing things," She replies. "I'm reading and you're sitting."

"WHAT?" Dad yells.

"But, Mom-" I begin but she slaps a hand over my mouth.

"Annie, be quiet! I think Captain Xavier is about to propose!"

**Finnick Odair**

"That was awesome!" I exclaim as Johanna and I step off the Anubis roller coaster.

"Yeah, it was so cool!" Jo nods.

"I loved the part were we did the loop right in front of the wall and we felt like we were about to crash into it!" I laugh.

"Me, too," The girl from the front gate, Cassie, says appearing beside me.

"Me, three," Lila nods, showing up on my other side.

"I liked the cobra roll best." Rose, the girl who says she's the author—whatever that means—says materializing from thin air in front of us in a puff of blue mist. "Now, Lila, look what I have." Rose holds up a pancake shaped like my head and suddenly Lila's eyes get really big and her mouth starts watering.

"Pancake…" Lila murmurs, staring at the thing.

"Go get it!" Rose shouts, tossing the pancake into a nearby lion exhibit. Lila leaps over the fence without hesitating and I'm lucky we're turning around a corner so I can't see what happens next. Poor lion. Rose turns to Cassie. "The Counsel wants to see you back in headquarters."

"Fine," Cassie sighs before running off.

"Headquarters?" Johanna asks, confused.

"Yep," She nods.

"Headquarters for what?" Johanna asks, taking a step towards the girl and narrowing her eyes.

"Things," She giggles. "Oh, and Johanna, I suggest you take a step to the left."

"What, why would I-" Johanna gets cut off as bird poop lands on her head and drips down her nose. She stares at Rose like she was about to explode.

"Hey, don't batglare at me!" Rose says, crossing her arms. "I'm the _queen_ of the batglare." Rose performs her batglare. The sky grows dark and storm clouds blot out the sun, thunder rumbling in the distance. A lone wolf howls as the temperature drops several hundred degrees and ice starts forming on my fingertips. "Anyway, have a nice day!" Rose says, brightening up suddenly. Everything returns to normal and the icicles on my arms melt. She disappears in a poof of indigo smoke, just as she arrived.

"Well okay then," I say, scratching my head. "Hey look, Dip N' Dots! Let's get some!" We make our way over to the stand and I get chocolate, and I turn around to find myself face to face with a pair of binoculars. "It never ends…" I mutter to myself under my breath.

"It _is_ you!" A girl exclaims, lowering the binoculars. She has shoulder-length, wavy brown hair and dark brown eyes. Along with a black Flogging Molly T-shirt, she also wears dark blue skinny jeans, grey Converse sneakers, a yellow wristband that says _House Baratheon – Ours is Fury_ on it in black letters, and a necklace of a Jack-in-the-Box antenna topper. "I'm Yuki-Rin! You're amazing!"

"Oh, I know," I say, running my hand through my hair.

"Hey," Johanna says. "Isn't Rin the blonde girl in that Japanese band? Vocaloid, right? Yeah, Rose listens to the song Rotten Girl, Grotesque Romance by them when she writes. That whole thing is really confusing because when Rose went to look it up on Wikipedia she got this thing for the software and couldn't find out anything really about Rin or Len and-"

"Fourth wall!" Rose yells, appearing beside Johanna and slapping a hand over her mouth. "I am _the only one_ allowed to break the fourth wall! Sorry, Yuki-Rin, continue." She disappears in a puff of blue smoke.

"What just happened?" Johanna asks, seeming like she had just come out of a trance.

"I have no idea." I say honestly. Yuki-Rin turns back to me.

"Sign my forehead!" She demands, shoving a blue marker at me.

"Um… okay?" I write my name on her forehead and she gives out a little fangirl scream. I really don't want to talk to her anymore. "Hey, look! Is that a random Japanese anime character that I can't pronounce the name of?"

"Where?" She yells, whirling around excitedly. I send a look at Johanna and we race away as quickly as possible. I glance back. Thankfully, she didn't follow us. That was… odd…

**Rivera InsertCloveslastnamehere**

"You ready to go?" Cato asks.

"Cato, I don't want to ride!" I admit as we stand in front of the Nightmare about to go into the line.

"Oh, thank god, me neither!" He sighs.

"Then let's go do something else!" I exclaim.

"Yeah, let's," He nods.

"Excuse me," I hear a voice behind me say. Turning, I come face to face with the most beautiful face I've ever seen in my life. A girl about my age, stands in front of me, her golden hair cascading past her shoulders and her blue eyes shining in the sunlight, her skin is smooth and flawless, every inch of her face perfectly shaped, gentle and delicate looking. "Is this the Nightmare?"

"Y-yeah," I nod, awestruck. Cato, meanwhile, is smiling stupidly at her older sister, who looks a lot like _my_ sister, actually, just prettier and without all of the missing body parts.

"Oh good," The girl says. "I've wanted to go on all day. Dinah, this _is_ it." She says to her older sister. "My name is Fifi. What's yours?"

"I'm in love…" I murmur. "I mean, um, ha, I'm Rivera…. Ha ha…"

"It is nice to meet you." Fifi smiles, stretching out her hand for me to shake. Her skin is as soft as a baby's. "Are you going to be riding with us?"

"Yes!" Cato and I both say immediately.

Fifi smiles. "Perfect. Shall we go then?"

**Cyrilla Cresta**

"Mom, please get up," Annie groans, sprawled out on the ground, a tiny bird sitting on her nose.

"Shhhh," I say, waving my finger at her. "Black Beard is attacking the wedding! Oh no, Eve lost one of her diamond earrings! How is she going to find it without being kidnapped by Black Beard and the crew?"

**Finnick Odair**

"No, it's _Ryun_," The boy repeats. "With a _U_. Not an _A_. I couldn't have an _A_ in my name because Brahian, the person who owns _Ryan_ the character, decided to not submit a stalker… so I'm here."

"Okay," I say as I sign the picture of me with a Sharpe. "So… _what_?"

"Well, it isn't stealing because my name is different—supposedly. That's what Rose said, anyway—but I'm basically a copy of Ryan which is why-"

"Ryun!" Rose snaps appearing out of nowhere. "Forth wall! I AM _THE ONLY ONE_ ALLOWED TO BREAK THE FORTH WALL!"

"Whatever," He shrugs, brushing his black hair out of his cat eyes.

"Pretend you never heard any of that." Rose says, placing a hand on Ryun's shoulder and looking at me meaningfully.

"Okay…" I mutter, handing the cat-kid back his picture of me. "Hey, look! Laser tag!"

"Oh my God, let's go!" Johanna shouts grabbing my arm and yanking me into the laser tag building. After some old guy tells us how the game works, we strap on the vests and grab the guns. Johanna, Rose, Ryun and I are all on the same team.

"Ready, set, go!" A recorded voice says. Blaring rock music starts playing and almost instantly Johanna wheels around, hitting me, Rose and Ryun. Holding her gun up into the air she screams like a banshee before running around a corner, her maniacal laughter still echoing back at us.

"Hmm," Ryun says slowly. "I didn't know friendly fire was enabled."

**Cato InsertCatoslastnamehere**

"Here we go," I say, sitting down in between Rivera and Dinah. God, she's pretty. She much nicer then Clove. I look at her, a devilish—or what I'm hoping is devilish—grin on my face. "If you get nervous you can hold my hand."

"You disgust me," She frowns.

"I think you're awesome, too," I smile. Suddenly we begin to move forwards. We curve around before heading up the hill. The seats are tilted so we are pretty much lying down, the sun in our eyes and vultures circling overhead. I close my eyes, feeling as if I'm asleep. Oh, Dinah is so pretty. And funny. Like how she pretends not to like me… good times…

We reach the top and it makes a small squeaking noise as we turn to face the drop. The view from up here is amazing; I can see everything, all the way from the Capitol to that sad little black dot that must be District Twelve. That is one sad little dot. Suddenly, we are hanging over the drop, staring at our imminent doom far below us. A bird flies by my head. Wait… I thought we agreed not the ride this? I WANT OFF!

Before I can say anything, we are plummeting straight down at seventy miles an hour, wind pounding against my face. I think I left my stomach at the top since all that is left inside is a giant wormhole which is currently devouring all the happiness in my body and replacing it with gut-wrenching terror. The ground rockets towards me but we pull up at the last second and I find myself hanging upside down for a moment, staring at the ground one hundred and fifty feet below me. My lungs must have just fallen out of my throat because I can't breathe any more. We flip right side up and we slow down as we reach the second drop.

"Oh m-" Is all I have time to say before we are dropped into the darkness of the tunnel. I vaguely see hieroglyphics flash by and hear a little girl screaming—it might have been me, now that I think about it—before I'm blinded by the light as we emerge from the shadows. We swoop around before diving down to skim the surface of a sparkling lake, water flying out behind us and soaking all the unsuspecting people walking by. Finally, we come to a stop in the station.

Rivera and I look at each other, horrified expressions on both our faces before we say the same thing at the same time: "THAT WAS AWESOME!"

**Cyrilla Cresta**

"Mom-" Annie whines.

"Shhh…" I shush her.

"Mom-"

"Annie, be quiet."

"Oh my god, Mom!"

"Shut up, sweetheart…"

"MOM!"

"_WHAT_?" I screech, slamming my book closed, fuming. "_What_ on _Earth_ could _possibly_ be so important that you could _dare_ drag me away from my reading? What _is_ it that is so unavoidably significant that I absolutely _have_ to pay attention to what you are saying? Does it _ever_ occur to you that I _really_ don't want to hear what you're saying? But now I _have to_ because I simply _cannot_ focus on my book with you constantly running your mouth! _SO WHAT IS IT_?"

"There's a tiger behind you." She says calmly. I spin around to come face to face with the enormous creature, its blue eyes staring straight into mine and piercing my soul with their cold hatred.

"Nice kitty…" I breathe. It opens its mouth and lets out a tremendous roar that shakes the ground around me and practically shatters my ear drums. Saliva drips from its four inch fangs and it's huge claws unsheathe and sink into the soil beneath its paws, each of which alone are the size of my head.

"Actually," It says, a human voice suddenly coming from the creature. I gape at it as it changes shapes in a matter of seconds, suddenly taking the form of a human woman with light brown hair and green-blue eyes that look… awfully familiar. Somehow, her clothes changed with her, as she is in a horse shirt and a pair of rainbow zebra shorts. She wears no shoes. Who doesn't wear shoes? Bumpkin. "My name really is Kitty. Kitty Odair, that is."

"Kitty, how are you?" Annie suddenly smiles, running up and hugging the woman.

"I feel like I'm missing something!" I announce loudly, running my temple. All the plot twists are hurting my brain.

"Oh, Mom, this is Kitty Odair. She's Finnick's cousin. She is also a witch who happens to be married to a red head named Ron Weasley, and also is an animagus who can transform into a tiger and is one of the strongest magical people in the world, along with Albus Dumbledore, of course. She spends her free time practicing and inventing spells and playing her magical oboe, Fredrica. Also, she has a pet fish named Gills, and she wants to kill my husband because he once tried to kill Ron her husband… for some reason." Annie informs me, smiling the whole time. Kitty nods enthusiastically before taking a paper plate from a random person walking by and taking a bite of the strawberry cake on it.

"I asked for you to fill me in, not give me her life story." I say, rubbing my head again. Too much information!

"Actually, you demanded." Kitty points out.

"And you always said beggars can't be choosers." Annie adds.

I glare at them. "Oh shut up!"

**Finnick Odair**

"Well, we'll be going now that Johanna completely destroyed the laser tag building and conveniently killed all of the readers who didn't review the last chapter." Rose says from where she stands next to Ryun. "Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. You'll see me… but not if I see you first!" She shouts just before she waves her hand over the two of them and they begin to evaporate into the blue fog.

"That was a Young Justice reference!" I shout just before they disappear. What? It was!

"Hello, would you like a free sample?" I hear someone say behind me. I turn to find a fourteen year old girl standing there, a plate of chocolate chip cookies in her hands. She is short and skinny but somewhat fit, with short blonde hair and dark blue eyes. She smiles warmly and holds out the plate for me to take one.

"Yes!" I yell instantly, leaping on one of the cookies and shoving it into my mouth. Wow… this is just as good as Annie's cookies! There is something in there, though… it leaves a slight aftertaste. Wait, I know that aftertaste from somewhere… but where…?

"My name is Karli," The girl says, although I really don't care what her name is, quite frankly. I'm to busy trying to figure out where I know that taste from. A nineteen year old boy walks to her side, looking somewhat like her expect his short hair is black instead of blonde, and he is obviously a dude. He's in a pair of black shorts, a plain white T-shirt and black sneakers. "And this is Andy."

"Hello, Finnick," Andy says slowly, almost creepily. I look at the girl, Karli, again and notice she is wearing a shirt that says _I 3 Finnick Odair_ on the front. She notices me noticing and twirls around to reveal the back which reads _I hate Annie Cresta_. Oh no. This is not a good sign. Wait… I know where that taste is from! It's from the drink Johanna gave me, the one with the poison. Oh crap.

Before I can go all loony, however, a white and sparkly unicorn swoops in, knocking over the two crazies. They fall over into a bush and I laugh as they try to pick themselves up out of it. The unicorn transforms into a mysterious-looking girl with luscious flowing brown hair. She wears a shimmering rainbow dress and has a camera dangling from her neck by a necklace sort of thing that tourists use because they are to lazy to put their cameras in their bag and then take them out again. She flashes a quick picture of me before running over and funneling some sort of light green liquid into my mouth.

"Is he okay?" I hear someone else yelp in a high-pitched voice, running over and kneeling down next to the unicorn girl, her dirty blonde hair falling in her young face as she gazes down at me with concern. Her hazel eyes are partially hidden behind her half brown, half pink ray ban glasses.

"He will be," The unicorn girl replies in a soft voice. My vision goes fuzzy for a moment before quickly returning to normal.

"Who are you?" I ask, reaching up and touching the soft face of the unicorn girl.

"My real name is a mystery." She whispers. "But you can just call me The Fancy Unicorn."

"Sweet," I smile.

"I'm Issy!" The other girl puts in. I think she's only eleven. "Hi!"

"Hi…?" I say, tilting my head a little. "I love the glasses."

"Oh, thank you," She blushes, helping me to with feet.

"Hey," The Fancy Unicorn says. "Finnick, I can turn back into a unicorn and give you a ride if you want."

I don't even have to consider this. "YES!"

**Kitty Odair**

Must find Finnick, must find Finnick, must find Finnick. I MUST KEEEEEEEL HIM! He must die! MWAHAHA! I left the ginger and the old lady behind and now I'm in tiger form, racing through the park past terrified looking people. I must find Finnick! I MUST KEEEEEEEEL HIM!

"Agent Kitty, status report," A male voice says over my earpiece.

"I'm a next to the Flounder Gift Shop," I say, changing back into human form and leaning against the blue wall of the building. "I have no idea where Finnick is, Noah, but I found Annie and Cyrilla. They are back at Bird Watch Path, on the third bench."

"Copy that, Agent Kitty." Captain Noah says. I hear keys clacking in the background. "We have located Finnick and he is at the Lobster Laser Tag—or what _was_ Lobster Laser Tag."

"I'm on my way!" I shout, changing back into tiger form and parting the crowds as I race in that direction. My paws slap against the concrete and a breeze ruffles my fur.

"Agent Kitty, listen," Noah says calmly and I skid to a stop. "Agent Fancy Unicorn and Agent Issy already have Finnick in their custody. I need you to take care of Johanna."

"But Finnick is _mine_!" I growl.

"He is being taken back to headquarters," Noah replies. "He will await a decision from the Counsel there. It is not your choice. I just need you to knock out Johanna."

"Fine!" I hiss. I start running again and arrive at Lobster Laser Tag in a matter of minutes. I look through the burned rumble with narrowed eyes until I find Johanna Mason standing amongst it, waving a laser gun around in the air and screaming like she's a crazy person. Maybe she is. But then, who am I to judge? I leap at her before she can react and her head smacks against a metal pole. Her eyes roll back and she's out cold. Well, that was easy.

**Cato InsertCatoslastnamehere**

I swear, I just saw a unicorn flying over a rainbow and carrying an unconscious Finnick on her back while drinking watermelon juice. Hmm… oh well.

"So, beautiful," Rivera says smoothly to Fifi who giggles slightly. "Did it hurt?"

"Did what hurt?" She smiles, a little confused.

"When you fell from heaven," He grins and she blushes. I roll my eyes. I can do so much better then that!

"Dinah," I say, turning to Fifi's older sister. "I yearn for your love like a pineapple yearns for sunlight! In fact, while I was falling to my doom, I wrote you this poem in French, one of the many languages I am fluent in: Vouc etes jolie, ce ne'est pas un veritable poeme, je ne sais pas si l'ananas mangent jamais la lumiere du soleil, j'espere vraiment que vous ne parlez pas francais."

She gasps. "Vous etes un idiot et un retard, je ne parle pas francais vous bouffon! J'espere que votre premierne enfant est tue par un rouleau compresseur, et vos doigts sont cases a des brinilles tristes, mutiles!" She slaps me across the face and storms off, leaving me sitting there with a shocked look on my face.

"Um, what just happened?" Rivera asks, confused.

"She _did_ speak French…" I grumble, slumping down in my seat. That could have gone better.

**Finnick Odair**

"Where am I?" I mumble, raising my head. The last thing I remember was that The Fancy Unicorn was giving me a ride over a rainbow, she gave me some watermelon juice to drink, and then that's it. Suddenly, ice cold water is poured all over me. I gasp and stare up into the narrow hazel eyes of a girl I've never seen before. She looks about fifteen, with thin lips and chin-length black hair. "I was already awake! Now, where am I?"

"I'll ask the questions!" She shouts.

"Tea, calm down," Issy, who I hadn't noticed until now, says, resting a hand on the girl's shoulder. I'm in a small, dark room tied to a wooden chair with some old, fraying rope. There aren't any windows, just a door that seems to lock from the outside. _Great_. And they took my phone. Even better.

"So, where were you on the night of today?" The first girl, Tea, demands, holding a plastic knife to my throat.

"Today I was kidnapped by a unicorn, an eleven year old girl and a psychopath with a plastic knife." I smirk. "But _night_ hasn't arrived yet, so…"

"Boy," Tea says slowly. "If you don't talk I'm going to chop you into pieces, put you in a blender and then drink what's left over."

"Ouch," Issy winces at the thought.

"This doesn't even make any sense!" I shout, struggling to free myself from the ropes.

"_You_ don't make sense!" Tea shoots back. This could take a while.

**Cato InsertCatoslastnamehere**

I watch as Rivera and Fifi play in the water of the Parrot Pound. It's a pirate-themed little kid's water play area, but they seem to be enjoying themselves, while I sit on an uncomfortable metal bench next to a fat guy with a sun burn and a handlebar mustache. And now Rivera is buying her flowers. And now they are sharing a chocolate milkshake. I'm so alone!

**Annie Cresta**

"So, now that you aren't reading, let's do something!" I say to Mom, looking at her hopefully.

"You're right," She nods. "I should do something different."

"Yes, you should," I nod happily. "So I was thinking-"

"I'll read my _other_ book!" Just as she takes out the other book, however, I snatch it out of her grasp throw it over the nearest fence, right into a lake. She looks at me, her eye twitching, and I smile back innocently. "That was rude!"

"You reading at a theme park is rude!" I squeak back. "Hypocrite!"

"I can't believe you just said that to me!" Mom gasps.

"Well, I did," I say snapping my fingers. "You gonna do somethin' about it?"

"Yes! I am!" My Mom says standing up. I take a step towards her, making a _come at me, bro_ gesture with my arms. She reaches into her bag just as I think she's about to punch me, and sits back down. "I'm going to read this book more!"

**Finnick Odair**

"I demand to know where you got this!" Tea yells, waving my shoe around in the air.

"I got it at Payless!" I repeat honestly.

"Lies!" She screams.

"FINNICK ODAIR!" Suddenly, a tiger breaks down the metal door and stalks towards me, her blue eyes narrowed and her claws leaves indentations in the metal floor. She lets out a humungous roar and the blood rushes from my face. As she approaches me, she changes back into human form. It's my cousin, Kitty Odair, who is probably still angry at me. "You tried to kill my husband." She growls. Yep, still angry.

"One time!" I exclaim. "That only happened one time!"

"What's going…?" A blond boy trails off, sticking his head in the room and taking in the scene with wide, confused eyes. "Um…?"

"Oh, hey, Noah," Issy says, waving cheerfully at the boy who looks to be about fourteen.

"_Fifty billion rainbows_

_ And the sun is setting_

_ And the moon is setting also_

_ And you're there in a gazebo_

_ And then God descends from heaven_

_ And he gives you a million dollars!_" Kitty bursts out singing. What is it with her and singing randomly? She always does this. So, you may have realized this by now… but my family is a little messed up. Just so you know.

"This is a disaster," Noah grumbles.

"CHINKLET!" Tea shrieks, waving her arms in the air.

"Agent Issy, here's the Forget Me Stick," Noah mumbles, handing Issy a blue stick with a picture of a sea-sick monkey on it for some reason. "You know what to do…" Noah leaves the room and Issy begins to walk over to me. I struggle against m restrains to no avail. Oh crap.

**Cato InsertCatoslastnamehere**

And now Rivera is writing her poetry. Hey, that's my thing! At least it isn't in foreign languages. And now they are going down a waterslide together whilst holding hands. And now he's making her a CD with all of their favorite music on it. And now he's buying her tickets to One Direction. And now he's taking her own a ride in a horse-drawn carriage. And now I'm crying. I'm so alone!

**Finnick Odair**

I wake up to the sound of thousands of muffled voices echoing in my ears like thunder. I can't remember anything; just that… um… what's my name again?

"Did it work?" I hear a young voice say in front of my. Wait… is that Issy? Yeah, it's Issy! "Maybe I need to hit him harder?"

"Where am I?" I groan, not opening my eyes.

"No, I think it worked." I hear that boy, Noah, say. Slowly, I blink my eyes open. My vision is splotchy and blurring, but it returns after I blink a lot. Issy and Noah stand in front of me, looking down at me curiously. I'm tied to a chair on a stage in a huge room with a dome-shaped grey metal ceiling to match the metal floor. On the ground in front of the stage, thousands of people stand, shouting out things. Some look angry, others look in love almost. "You, Finnick, are in headquarters."

"Headquarters?" I ask. Oh, right. I'm Finnick Odair. I start to remember things, like the last SpongeBob episode I saw and where Young Justice left off last time it was on TV. Artemis had 'died' and the team was morning her death. Meanwhile, Artemis was really in disguise and boarding the ship with Aqualad who was undercover in Black Manta's army. Hmm… am I married to someone? I think so. Um… is it Cato?

"Yes," Noah nods.

"Headquarters for what?" I ask impatiently.

"TAOFOMS!" Issy says cheerfully. I blink at her. What the pudding is that supposed to stand for? "The Alliance Of Finnick Odair's Many Stalkers!"

"Oh no," I breathe, struggling harder. "You have to let me go! I-I think I'm missing a SpongeBob episode!"

"Then you should have set it up to record, barbarian!" I hear my cousin Kitty scream from the crowd.

"Finnick!" That girl, Karli, yells. "Have a cookie!" She starts chucking cookies at me, one of which hits me in the eye. Ow.

"I love you Finnick!" The girl from the Anubis roller coaster line, Aria, screams. "I LOVE YOU!"

"I love him more!" Cassie, the girl from the front gate, yells. "His abs are _mine_!"

"I call his hair!"

"I want his toe nails!"

"I demand his heart in a jar in my closet!"

"I like Harry Potter!" Everyone stops talking immediately and turns to a girl with dark brown, almost black, hair and color-changing eyes. One moment they look blue, one moment green, and the next they appear grey. She wears a red shirt with _Gryffindor_ on it in gold, a pair of jeans and combat boots. "What? I like Harry Potter. Finnick is okay, I guess."

"BANISHED!" A girl with short black hair and brown eyes screams. She pulls a remote out of her pocket and hits a button. The Harry Potter girl falls into a trap door and I hear the sound of shredding flesh and Paraná teeth. Gorgeous.

"I always did think Agent Amber was a traitor." Noah says thoughtfully. He looks out at the girl who had hit the button. "Oh, Captain Ritley, I'm glad you could make it."

"I have chocolate!" Captain Ritley screams, running up onto the stage and taking a bite of an over-sized chocolate bar. "Oh, hi, Captain Noah. I have chocolate! No, you can't have any." Noah looks a little disappointed.

"Wait," I say. "You guys have more then one Captain?"

"Yeah," Noah nods. "Duh."

"Actually, there are three of us," Ritley says, bouncing up and down from chocolate overload.

"Three?" I tilt my head. "Who is the third?"

"Me." I gasp as The Fancy Unicorn makes her way onto the stage in human form. She brought me here! She's a stalker!

"_Space unicorn, soaring through the stars_

_ Delivering the rainbows all around the world!_

_ Space unicorn, shining in the night_

_ Smiles and hugs forever, all around the world!_" The girl, Tea, sings from the crowd, still waving her plastic knife around and laughing hysterically.

"Like I haven't heard that one before." The Fancy Unicorn says sarcastically.

"Captain TFU, nice to see you," Noah nods to her. I am assuming _TFU_ stands for _The Fancy Unicorn_. I mean, it's kinda obvious.

"Hey, aren't we supposed to take him to the Counsel, not _everyone_?" Ritley asks, tilting her head and smiling like a maniac.

"Since when do we listen to the counsel?" Noah shrugs.

"You guys aren't very organized, are you?" I ask.

"Nope," Ritley shakes her head before taking another bite of chocolate and grinning from ear to ear. She looks into the crowd. "Hey, Ivy, where are you?"

"Here!" A girl answers from the throng of people. Kicking off the wall, she flips up onto the stage. I recognize her from somewhere. But… where? Wait, I know! She was on the posters for the circus! She's an acrobat! Ivy has long, curly red hair and stormy grey eyes. She's about average height and her face is dusted with freckles.

"Gingers don't have souls!" Kitty screams from the crowd.

"Hey!" Ivy snaps. "I have a soul!"

"Oh, I didn't mean it as an insult," Kitty says quickly. "I don't have a soul either."

"Oh, never mind then!" Ivy says brightening up. She turns back to Ritley. "What is it?"

"Oh, nothing, I just wanted to see you flip up here," Ritley shrugs. Ivy face palms, and a phone rings in her pocket. Pulling it out she listens intently to someone talking for a few seconds.

"Um," She pulls it away from her ear for a moment. "It's for him." She points to me.

"Give it to him, then, Agent Ivy," Noah says, motioning towards me. Ivy sticks the iPhone between my head and my shoulder.

"Um…" I say slowly. "Hello?"

"There is a bomb hidden in this phone set to go off in twenty three seconds." An intelligent sounding female voice says over the phone. I blink. She can't be serious. "When it goes off it will distract them long enough for you to escape. Do you understand?"

"But, who are you?" I ask.

"You'll find out soon enough." She replies. "Do you understand?"

"Yes," I nod.

"Good, because you now only four seconds." I yelp, grab the phone in my teeth and chuck it into the crowd. It blows alright. It takes out twenty stalkers with it, too. YAY!

"Aw, man," Ivy frowns. "I just downloaded, like, forty songs on there." Like the boss I am I leap off the stage and twirl in the air, landing so that the chair breaks into shards the moment I hit the floor. I got that from the Avengers movie! Ha, I knew watching superhero stuff is a good thing! On the downside, I have never had this many splinters in my life. I race for the closest door, dodging past a raven trying to dive bomb me—well, that bird certainly looked familiar. Where do I know it from?—and up a staircase. I burst through a door at the top into the light. I'm alive!

I'm back in the park. They have their headquarters under a theme park? Weirdoes. I push my way through the crowd and come across Cato sulking on a bench.

"Dude, we gotta go!" I say, grabbing him by the arm and yanking him up off the bench. I see Rivera and hoist him up over my shoulder like they do in movies.

"Call me!" He calls to some girl as we race away towards where I'm sure Annie, Cyrilla and Harcourt are. Predictably, Cyrilla is sitting down, reading a romance novel and Annie is pacing back and forth and sending annoyed glances at her mother every once in awhile.

"We're leaving now!" I yell out to them as I pass.

"Wait, I have to finish this chapter!" Cyrilla argues, not looking up from the book.

"WHAT?" Harcourt shouts.

"No time," I tell her, snatching the book out of her grasp with my free hand.

"Hey!" She complains, but follows me, along with her husband and her daughter, if not for any reason other then to get her book back. We rush out of the park and I call our sweaty driver, telling him to come pick us up now. He reluctantly says he's on his way. I remember that I'm still carrying Rivera and I put him on the ground, fixing his ruffled hair.

"Stop touching me!" He snaps, swatting my hands away. I look in the distance to see Rose leaning against a wall, watching with a little proud smile.

"I'll be back in a minute." I tell the group. I break away from them, jogging over to Rose and looking at her with confusion in my expression. "Were you the one who called while I was in headquarters? The phone bomb, did you do that?"

"Nope," She shakes her head. "That wasn't me. I know who it was though."

"Who?" I ask as she pulls out a lint roller with _Sherman_ written on it and starts lint rolling my arm. I'm not even going to ask. She laughs a little, but not in a crazy way, surprisingly.

"Now, that I can't tell you," She says. "But I'm sure you'll find out. Someday." I hear a car and turn around to find the van pulling up, the fat driver impatiently waving everyone on board. When I turn back around, Rose is gone. In her place, a lint roller sits on the ground with a note attached to it.

_Enjoy Shermanette! You've earned her._

_-Rose_

I pick up the lint roller and find it does indeed have Shermanette written on it. Curiously, I lint roll myself. Wow. That is surprisingly soothing.

"Finnick, come on!" Annie yells. I turn, racing onto the van. I sit down in a seat next to Annie, pecking her on the cheek. I can't help but look out the window and wonder who it was that saved me back there. It wasn't Rose… so who was it? I suppose I'll find out. Someday.


	27. Forget Something?

**So, lovely people, you know you're me when your mom is talking about a concert and she says, "Well, they have giant fans blowing on them, so it mustn't have been too hot" and you picture the actual people in the audience breathing on the band... yeah... I should probably see a doctor. Anywho, Happy Fourth of July! Let's say this little chapter is my Fourth of July gift to all of you wonderful people. Also, if your British, then HA! We OWNED you punks! Ha, just kidding, you have awesome accents and gave us fish and chips, and Alex Pettyfer, so for that I say thank you. I luvez u allz! XD**

* * *

><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

I wake up to the sound of knocking. What the heck? I glance at the clock and groan. Its midnight o' clock! What the heck are they doing showing up at my house at midnight o' clock? Maybe their house is on fire… but if it is, why do I care? They didn't have to go and wake me up just because their stupid house is on fire! Gosh, some people are just so inconsiderate!

"Finnick, someone is at the door…" Annie whispers, apparently awake. "Go answer it."

"Why can't you answer it?" I ask, sitting up and running my hand through my hair.

"Because it's probably another stalker," She replies quietly. "And if I answer it they might accidentally kidnap _me_ instead of you."

"Oh, right, of course," I nod, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed and falling to the ground with a thump when my legs get tangled in the sheets. I untangle myself before sliding into my bunny slippers and making my way to the door in just my boxers. I reach the bottom of the stairs to find Cato running down after me, holding a… is that an inflatable walking stick?

"I heard a noise," He says, slightly crouched, swinging the plastic air-filled cane, and looking around in paranoia. "So I came as quickly as I could. Where's the thief? I'll get him!"

"Cato," I sigh. "Someone is just knocking. And what the heck is that?"

"What, this?" He asks, motioning to the object in his hand. I nod slowly. "It's an inflatable walking stick."

"Well why do you have it?" I ask as whoever is at the door starts ringing the doorbell angrily.

"I keep it for emergencies." He responds. I facepalm and open my mouth to say something when whoever is at the front of the house starts screaming furiously. I roll my eyes, deciding to ignore Cato, and make my way to the door.

"Wait!" Rivera says, suddenly appearing and leaping between me and the door. "Don't open that! That's what they do in the horror movies!"

"What's the worst thing that could happen?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"You could get eaten!" He wails. "Or strangled! Or mauled to death! Or- you know what, why don't you go ahead and open it? Go ahead, I'm sure it's just that pizza I ordered this morning, getting here really, _really_ late." He steps behind me and pushes me closer to the door.

"You ordered a pizza?" Cato asks, confused.

"Um, sure," Rivera nods. I reach for the door handle slowly before suddenly jerking it open. To my surprise, I find Johanna standing behind it, covered in mud, her hair tangled and ridden with small insects, and her clothes ripped and stained.

"Johanna!" I exclaim in surprise.

"I think you forgot something!" She yells, waving her hands around exaggerative. "You left me unconscious at the theme park! Did it ever occur to you to go back and get me? Or did you just forget I was even there? What great friends you are!"

"Here's your pizza!" A random guy from Papa Johns says, walking up and handing Rivera a steaming box.

"Thank you, my good man," Rivera says handing the guy twenty bucks.

"Do you have any idea what's happened to me?" Johanna asks, her eye twitching. I shake my head. "I have been attacked by a tiger, knocked unconscious, chased by security guards, bitten by a Chihuahua, hit on by some drunk hobo, assaulted by bugs, and a truck driver with a beard and a Napoleon complex messed up my hair! Ugh, Finnick, I swear, I'm gonna-" I cut her off by hitting the eject button next to the doorbell and she goes flying into the sky, screeching at the top of her lungs. I had that installed last week. Oh, don't worry. She'll land on a mattress. Um… well, maybe. That depends on the wind speed, her weigh, velocity, gravity, whether or not she had tangerines for breakfast…

"Who wants pizza?" Rivera calls from in the kitchen.

"I do!" I shout before running back inside. Yay! Pizza!


	28. Sand, Sea and LMFAO

**This lovely little chapter wouldn't be here right now if Amber Tate hadn't been all "But Rose, I REALLY want to read more FOMS!" so you can thank her for this chapter being here today. This was inspired by an episode of SpongeBob, and my trip to the beach from earlier today. My SKIN REFUSES TO TAN! *bangs head against wall* Anywho, the songs in this chapter in order are Sexy And I Know It by LMFAO, Whipped Cream by Ludo, Pretty Fly For A White Guy by The Offspring, and Love Me Dead by Ludo. Oh, Sherman and I have declared Love Me Dead to be the best song on the face of the earth. So Sherman says it, so it shall be! Um... I felt like there was something else I needed to say... Hm... I'll probably remember it later, after you've all already read this. Oh well! Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

"Steve, George, look!" Annie shrieks happily, holding her two favorite golf balls up. "The beach!" All of us walk down to my private beach carrying bags, foldable chairs, umbrellas … all that jazz.

"Nice day," I observe, sitting down on the sand. I'm in a pair of blue swim trunks. I look _good_.

"It's beautiful!" Annie yelps, clasping her hands together and kicking one of her feet in the air like they do in the movies. She's in a light blue one piece and a big matching sunhat. She looks _good_, too.

"Crab!" Rivera yells, pointing at a little creature in the sand and racing off the chase after the poor thing.

"Okay," Cato says. For whatever reason, he has a towel wrapped around his lower half. "I'm ready!" Suddenly he pulls the towel off and I burst out laughing at the sight of his animal print Speedo. He takes his boom box and hits a button. The song Sexy and I Know It starts blasting loudly. He spreads the towel out on the ground and lies on his stomach, so I quickly turn my back on him so I don't have to look at… all that.

"So, why aren't your parents with us again?" I ask, turning to Annie. "Not that I'm complaining, but I was wondering…"

"Mom thinks sand is obnoxious and she has a phobia of sea gulls." Annie replies. "Dad isn't here because Mom thinks he'd drown."

"Oh," I nod in realization.

"_I steppin' off the chariots and this is what I see_," Cato yells, singing his own version of the song. I face palm. "_Katniss Everdeen is starin' at me! I got a passion for the Games and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it… I'm Cato and I know it!"_

"And _I'm_ going for a swim." I announce. Standing up, I make my way quickly to the water, trying to tune out Cato's singing (which is actually really good is you can ignore the fact the he is currently just saying _wiggle_ over and over), and feel the cool waves lap at my toes. I wade deeper before diving in, allowing the water to flow over my skin. I smile. This is my place. If I didn't have to breath I could stay under forever, but since I need oxygen, I resurface.

"_This is how I roll! Animal print pants out of control_!" Cato sings, now standing and shaking his butt.

"He has the song on replay, doesn't he?" I ask Annie who nods, not looking up from her Golf Ball Maintenance Guide. I walk back up to the beach and sit down next to her, trying to tune on Cato's wailing.

"Hey, LMFAO!" I hear Rivera yell. I open one eye to see him chuck a beach ball at Cato's head.

"Ow!" The blonde complains.

"Oh, that didn't hurt." Rivera rolls his eyes. "Will you turn that off? There are children here!"

"Don't talk about Finnick that way!" Cato yells.

"Just change the song!" Rivera growls. Cato sighs before hitting a button. The song cuts off and the next one doesn't seem nearly as bad. Well, it doesn't seem nearly as bad for about two seconds.

"_I think I'm entitled to your body_" Cato sings along. "_Got a little problem with personal space and I've been poundin' the-"_

"Next song!" I shout, leaping out of my seat and hitting the button.

"_And all the girlies say I'm pretty fly for a white guy!_" Cato shouts out the lyrics. I groan, but I guess this isn't as bad as the others. I sigh and relax in my beach chair, listening to the crashing of the waves and the caws of the sea gulls. I take a deep breath of the salty air. Nothing is better then this.

"This is so hard…" I hear Rivera grumble. I look up to see him trying, and failing, to build a sandcastle. I smile and decide to go over and see what I can do.

"Here, let me help." I say, kneeling down beside him. "First, you should start all over." I use my hands to flatten out the sand.

"Hey!" Rivera complains. "You destroyed my castle!"

"I'm just trying to help." I say honestly.

"Go make your own castle." He says, crossing his arms.

"Okay," I nod, my eyes narrowed slightly. "I will!" Hmph, stupid Rivera. What does he know anyway? His sandcastle looks like… well right now it looks like nothing, actually.

"Here are those architectural plans you requested." Some random guy with a British accent says, walking up and handing Rivera a blue, rolled up paper.

"Thank you, my good man." Rivera nods. I turn back to my own pile of sand, shaking these thoughts off, and watch as after about twenty minuets I have a gothic-style castle standing in front of me.

"There we go," I say, folding my arms proudly. Suddenly, a baseball slams into my castle which crumbles at its touch, returning to its original form of lumpy sand. "Hey!" I wheel around to find Rivera holding a baseball bat and smiling evilly in his black swim shorts.

"Now we're even," He shrugs.

"Fine," I nod. "I suppose that now we're even, it is fair that- THIS MEANS WAR!" I grab the baseball and throw it back at him, expecting it to shatter his castle, which stands four feet tall and is Victorian style, but instead he hits it with the bat and I watch in slow motion as it soars high over my head and right through one of my house's open windows. I hear a shrill shriek followed by a lot of rather dirty insults.

"I think you hit Cyrilla." I say slowly, gaping at him. He looks just as shocked as me. "Great aim!" We cheer and high five.

_"You suck so passionately! You're a parasitic psycho filthy creature finger-banging my heart!"_

"Cato!"

"Sorry."


	29. Buying Tickets

**So this chapter is a little short, but it is laying down the base for a chapter which shall be posted sometime on or after July 20th. Between now and then chapters will still continue to be posted, don't worry, I'm not abandoning you. Its just, the chapters between now and then aren't going to have anything to do with this one, really. Get it? Got it? Good. You guys are lucky, I've been in a very FOMS-y mood lately :)**

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><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

"Come on…" I grumble, clicking the refresh button.

"Come on…" Cato mumbles, sitting next to me on the couch.

"Come on…" I moan, hitting the refresh button again. I sit in the darkness of the living room just waiting for midnight. I check the time. Just one more minute! Become midnight o' clock already!

"Finnick?" I hear a soft voice say. I look up to see Annie in her pink nightgown and looking at me in slight confusion. "What are you doing?"

"Waiting for tickets to go on sale…" I mumble, wiping some saliva off my chin. Annie reaches for the light switch. "No, Annie, don- AH! THE LIGHT!" I scream, falling to the ground and clutching at my eye sockets.

"IT BURNS!" Cato yells, writhing in agony.

"I CAN'T FEEL MY LOOKING HOLES!" I shriek.

"What are you trying to get tickets to?" Annie asks. Cato and I immediately freeze, staring at her in shock.

"Do you know us at all, women?" I gape.

"We're waiting for the Dark Knight Rises tickets to go on sale!" Cato exclaims.

"Then just watch the news," Annie shrugs. "It'll tell you right when the tickets go on sale." She flips on the TV and a man in a T-shirt starts talking excitedly.

"_That's right, folks,_" The guys on screen says. "_Unless you were just being blinded by light on the floor of your living room, you know that tickets for the Dark Knight Rises midnight premier just sold out in thirty seconds flat in every theater in District Four_."

"NO!" Cato and I sob.

"Finnick, why are you crying?" Annie asks, pulling one of her golf balls out of nowhere and stroking it gently.

"I'm not crying," I sniff. "I have allergies."

"_I'm _crying!" Cato wails, burying his face in the couch cushions. Annie walks over and softly pats him on the back, just making him weep louder.

_"But don't sob hysterically just yet,"_ The guy says and we stop abruptly, our heads snapping towards the TV. "Tickets are still on sale in District One."

"I'm buying tickets!" Cato shouts, snatching the laptop.

"No!" I yell, grabbing it back. "Do you have any idea how many of my stalkers are from that district? And, even worse, they are Career stalkers! They're insane!"

"Finnick," Cato says seriously. "Think about this for a moment. It's Batman. I think he's worth it."

"You're right," I nod, taking a deep breath. "Do it." He hits a few buttons and within seconds our seats are reserved for the midnight premier of the Dark Knight Rises.

"YAY!" Cato cheers, leaping up and down.

"WE'RE GOING TO SEE THE DARK KNIGHT RISES!" I shout, leaping onto the couch and bouncing up and down.

"IN DISTRICT ONE!" Cato yelps happily and suddenly I stop bouncing. For the love of Peeta, what have I done?


	30. Connect Four

**Happy thirtieth chapter everyone! This chapter is nothing special, just a little something that popped into my head. I've finally started writing chapter ideas down! Yay! So, the title says it all for this chapter, really. Cato and Rivera are going to play Connect Four. Terrifyingly, this was based off a true story. No offense to lesbians or Justin Bieber! I love you all! Well, maybe not Justin Bieber...**

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><p><strong>Cato InsertCatoslastnamehere<strong>

"You ready to play?" Rivera asks me from where he sits at the table.

"Yeah, hold on…" I say, pouring myself some orange juice before sitting down across from Rivera at the table. A multicolored board stands on two plastic legs, holes covering the entire thing. I have about twenty yellow circular chips while Rivera has the same amount of red ones. He insisted he got the color since it matched his favorite liquid. I'm assuming he meant strawberry lemonade, which he's drinking now. At least, I'm assuming its strawberry lemonade. But, I mean, what else would it be?

"Alright, I'll go first." Rivera says, dropping a red chip down the very center of the board. I go next, dropping mine down right besides his. This goes on for awhile until four red chips sit diagonally in a row. "I won." Rivera smirks.

"Best out of three," I say and we empty the board, the chips falling out with a loud clang. I narrow my eyes. I'm going to win this time, I have to win. I can't lose to a little kid! That would make me look so silly. I mean, more so then usual.

"YES!" Rivera shouts, standing up and dancing around as he wins yet again.

"Best out of five," I suggest. He rolls his eyes.

"You sure, Cato?" He asks, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow. "You wanna risk the embarrassment?" Okay, now this kid is just messing with me.

"Yes," I say, mimicking his stance. "Yes I do."

"Alright," He chuckles sitting down. It only takes three minutes for him to have a line of red chips sitting across the bottom of the board.

"Best out of seven?" I mutter, taking a sip of my water. Rivera wins. Again.

"Cato," Clove's little brother sighs. "You know what I think you should do?"

"What?" I ask, confused, tilting my head to the side.

"I think," He says with a cocky grin. "You should take whatever is left of your dignity and leave now, before you are thoroughly ashamed of your pathetic existence."

"Oh that's it!" I shout. "Best out of nine!"

Rivera wins.

"Best out of eleven."

He wins again.

"Best out of thirteen?"

And again.

And again.

And again.

I eventually just sulk out of the room, Rivera's boyish cackles following me as I go. I am a total failure. I didn't even win a single game against the stupid eight year old. An eight year old kid! At least it wasn't a girl. Unless Rivera really is secretly a girl… that would be awkward…

I crawl into bed later that night, flipping off the lights. I pull the sheets up to my chest and burry my face in my pillow, sighing. What a horrible day. Rivera beat me at least thirteen times! I didn't even win once! Despite this, I eventually drift off into sleep.

I find myself standing in a weird place, the ground made of a tight blue fabric and gradually curling up to form walls and a ceiling. I can't even see anything in two directions, the ground staying flat, forming a horizon in both directions. It's really odd, and I find myself wondering if that is even possible. Suddenly, I hear a laugh echoing loudly, bouncing off the curved walls and reverberating inside my skull. No, not laughs… more like… a boyish cackle. Rivera's boyish cackle, to be exact. Oh no, he's here!

"Came to lose again, Cato?" He asks, suddenly appearing beside me wearing a toga.

"What?" I ask, confused. "You know why I'm here! Where is the strawberry lemonade?"

"All in good time, my _friend_," He spits out the last word like its poison, despite the creepy smile still alight on his face. "First, YOU MUST DIE!" He shouts. A streak of lightning strikes down from the sky and instead of hitting me, like I expected it to, it hits him. The moment it subsides, Rivera is gone, just like the lighting.

"NO!" I scream, kneeling down and touching the scorched blue ground. _"Who'll raise the million bucks? I can't afford this mansion!"_ I sing to the tune of the last two lines in the chorus of ET by Katy Perry. Suddenly, I hear a terrible rumbling and look up to see a giant red chip, like the ones from the game but huge, falling towards my head. I raise my arms in terror and scream like a little girl.

"Product placement!" A teddy bear shrieks running by.

"This is a dream!" Selena Gomez yells after it, coming to stand next to me. "It's not a music video! There is no such thing!"

"Selena, what are you doing here?" I ask, confused, but smiling since I haven't seen her since Vegas.

"Pizza Hut," She shrugs, pulling a slice of pizza out of her purse made of monkey fur.

"Lesbian!" A canary squawks, flying over and sitting on my head.

"I'm dating Justin Bieber." Selena argues, crossing her arms.

"Exactly!" The bird chirps, flying off.

"Wait," I say slowly. "That enormous chip was about to crush me twenty seconds ago. How come we still haven't been-" I get cut off as the giant red chip suddenly lands on me, squishing me like a fly in a McDonald's parking lot until the tire of a monster truck.

"PRODUCT PLACEMENT!" I scream, sitting up to find myself safely in my room, sweat beading on my forehead. Selena was right, it was just a dream. Sighing, I lay back down, staring up at the ceiling. That was the weirdest dream I've ever had in my life. Well, next to the one where Ke$ha took me to Transylvania for that sombrero convention…

I'm never going to beat Rivera at that stupid game. It's going to mock me for my entire life. I'll never be free! I groan, rolling over. I'm going to be a loser forever. Stupid eight year old. Wait, what am I talking about? I'm better then him! Did Ke$ha take _him_ to Transylvania? I don't think so. That's right, Rivera. Call me when a famous person takes _you_ to an obscure foreign country for a celebration of Mexican fashion, you skinny little punk!


	31. He Who Hates His Past Dates

**Hi! Please don't kill me, I know I'm late! I have an excuse! I was on vacation. Great excuse, right? Well, look, I didn't have time to write at all considering we were leaving the hotel at seven in the morning and coming back past midnight and, yeah, I didn't have time. But I'm back on schedual now!**

* * *

><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

Waking up, I stretch and use Shermanette to clean the lint off of me. It's become a daily ritual now. Whenever I wake up or change clothes I always use Shermanette. You have no idea how useful lint rollers can be! Annie is already up and about, seeing as she isn't in the room. I stretch and slide into my bunny slippers before making my way out into the hallway. Faintly, I hear music playing and realize that it's Taylor Swift. Oh no. Cato only listens to Taylor Swift music when he's sad.

"Hey, Cato," I say after knocking and cracking the door slightly.

"Go away!" Cato yells, no where in sight.

"Dude, what's wrong?" I ask, leaning against the door frame.

"GO AWAY!" Suddenly, a lamp comes flying out towards me out of nowhere. I duck out of the way just in time.

"Hey!" I snap. "That was my favorite lamp!"

"GO AWAY!" Cato repeats. I listen intently to his voice and realize that he's not only crying but he's also right above my head.

"Cato!" I exclaim, wheeling around to look up at him. He's propped up in the corner where two of the walls connect with the ceiling, looking very ninja-like at the moment, even if he's just in a pair of baggy pajama pants. His eyes are big and watery and his body seems to be shaking. "What are you doing on the ceiling?"

"I find it soothing."

"Okay then…" I mutter, shrugging it off. "What's up, dude? You know, besides you." He sighs, dropping to the ground. He looks up at me after a few seconds, his eyes looking depressed.

"I'm so alone!" He finally wails, falling over onto his bed and burying his face in his pillow. "I mean, you have Annie, Harcourt has Cyrilla, and Rivera has that girl he met at the theme park… I'm the only one!"

"No you aren't," I say sitting down next to him and patting his back reassuringly. "Jo is alone, too." His lip trembles.

"I'M GONNA END UP LIKE HER!"

I sigh, mentally face palming. "Well, good luck with that, Cato."

As I make me way downstairs and into the kitchen I cant help but thinking about Cato's predicament. He hasn't had a girlfriend since Clove left him and that was… what? Six months ago? Yeah, that's about right. I know what I must do.

I'm going to get him an online dating account.

"_Age_?" I read to myself off the screen of the laptop I now sit at, getting Cato an account on a dating website called He Who Hates His Past Dates. "Well, Cato is nineteen, but no one would ever believe that so… _twenty-five_… Yeah, that's a good number. Okay, now-"

"Watcha doin?" Rivera asks creepily, appearing behind me out of nowhere. I jump and take a deep breath, trying to regain a normal heartbeat.

"I'm getting Cato an online dating account." I say proudly. Rivera bursts out laughing. "What?"

"N-nothing," He says, clutching at his sides. He suddenly composes himself, coming to sit down next to me. "Hey, what's that say?"

"_What are your hobbies and interesting?_"

"Oh, I know this one!" Rivera says, bouncing up and down. "Type this as I say it: _watching children's cartoons, riding my unicycle, the study of dirt, and collecting samples of camel spit_."

"Um…" I say tentatively. "Are you sure that's what Cato is into?"

"Positive!" He says, folding his arms and smiling confidently. After a few seconds of thought I type this in. "Alright, what next?"

**Cato InsertCatoslastnamehere**

"Cato!" I hear Finnick call sometime around noon. "Come down! There is something I need to show you!" I grab a box of tissues and make my way to the living room, almost falling down the stairs on the way there.

"What?" I sniff when I arrive.

"_Someone_ looks horrible." Rivera notices, shielding his eyes. He's right, I do. I'm pale and quivering, my hair greasy and tangled, my eyes bloodshot and twitching slightly. I look like a mad scientist. Well, a mad scientist who happens to be an ex-underwear model, but still a mad scientist, and that's not a good thing.

"What is it?" I repeat, not liking to be down here in the living room. Too much light is coming in through the windows; it burns my delicate, waterlogged eyes.

"We did something awesome!" Finnick announces. Oh dear god, this is going to end badly, isn't it?

"We got you an online dating account!" Rivera announces, not waiting for me to ask what it is they did.

"Oh no…" I grumble. They force me into a chair and I look over 'my' profile. "Why do I look like Dwain The Rock Johnson?"

"Dude, no one uses their real body in photos!" Finnick laughs.

"Photoshop." Rivera nods and they do a fist pound.

"And why does this say that my favorite animal is an albino peacock?"

"What, it is, isn't it?" Rivera asks, looking confused.

"No, no it's not." I shake my head. "Wait, does that say I have a fetish for green leather?"

"Oops!" Finnick yelps, snatching the laptop and deleting that before handing it back to me with a blush on his face. "That's just me."

I nod, a little weirded out. "Um… uh… just… okay then…" Let it be known, I live with crazy people.

"GOLF BALLS!" I hear Annie shriek from somewhere upstairs.

Yep. Crazy.


	32. Welcome to the Fandom, Jo!

**So during this lovely little chapter that I wrote after watching Young Justice for several hours (I get really bored, okay? Don't judge me.), they will be watching Young Justice. But don't worry, you don't have to know anything about the show. Like, seriously. Anywho, guess what? On the chapter list thingy... *drumroll* I finally got the scroll-y thing! Yay! *applause* Okay, so I hope you like this chapter! Tell me what you think in that lovely little review box, and don't forget to follow and favorite!**

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><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

"Hey, what are you guys doing?" Johanna asks, walking into the living room and sitting down next to me on the couch.

"Watching Young Justice." Cato replies from the other side of Johanna.

"How do you keep getting into my house without a key?" I ask, not really expecting an answer.

"What's Young Justice?" She asks, and my eye twitches. She stares at me confused as I fall to the floor and start screaming my head off in shock. I can't believe she doesn't know what Young Justice is! It's unbelievable. Wait, I said that already. Well that was redundant.

"Le gasp!" Cato exclaims.

"I am so glad I wasn't drinking anything when you said that." I say from where I lay face down in the carpet.

"Young Justice, Jo-" Cato begins.

"Don't call me Jo."

"Okay, Jo." He nods. "Young Justice is only the best cartoon ever! It's about the sidekicks of the DC superheroes, like Robin and Aqualad, and their rise to awesomeness!"

"Meh, I'll give it a shot." She shrugs. It only takes a few minutes before she won't shut up. After all, Jo will be Jo. "What's Cadmus? Why aren't there any main characters with brown hair on this show? Why does Robin sound so familiar?"

"He's Jesse McCartney." Cato replies.

"The guy who sings Beautiful Soul?"

"Yeah."

"So he doesn't even have brown hair in real life!"

"Will you please shut up?"

"No." She folds her arms and then leans towards the screen. "Hey, who is the hot shirtless dude?"

"Superboy." I answer, watching the clone of Superman throwing a few giant boulders at the bad guys like they weigh absolutely nothing.

"And..." Jo trails off. "He loses his shirt... often?"

"Are you kidding?" Cato laughs. "His shirt gets ripped off in, like, every episode!"

"Artemis is never shirtless..." I grumble. "_She_ wears green leather..."

"Ignore that last comment." Cato says quickly. "So, what do you think, Jo?"

She pauses it on an image of Superboy without his shirt on. "Yeah, I think I could watch a few more episodes."

**Twelve hours later...**

"So much Young Justice..." Cato murmurs, slung over the side of the couch.

"My eyes feel like ..." I breathe, laying on the floor and staring up at the ceiling.

"Aw, come on, guys! Just one more episode!" Jo begs, bouncing up and down. "Superboy is just waiting for me! He's waiting, Finnick. You know how impatient he is!"

"Yeah, Jo, I do..." I grumble. "Here, you can watch more episodes. I've seen them all already anyway. Just... I'm gonna... go upstairs... and sleep..."

"Fine," She crosses her arms. "I'll just watch it with Cato, then!"

"Yeah, about that," Cato begins. "Um, no. If I watch anymore TV for the next month, my head will cave in."

"Owl City!" Annie yells from somewhere else in the house.

"What?" Cato asks, looking confused.

"It's her favorite band..." I mumble. "They have a song called Cave In... I guess."

"I have to watch it alone!" Jo wails.

"Yes," I nod, pulling myself to my feet. "Yes you do."

"But that's not as fun." She groans.

"To bad!" Cato and I snap at the same time and I march out of the room. Even with something so amazing, you can only take it so long until your eyes roll out of your head, and that's exactly what mine feel like they are going to do. Nope, I am never doing that ever again.

**The next day**

I lay on the floor, clutching at my pounding head. Cato fell asleep hours ago and Johanna... is still sitting there on the couch, watching Young Justice. I cannot believe she out-watched both of us.

"Oh..." I moan. "I can't believe I did that again."


	33. The Midnight Premier

**Yay! It's the chapter about them going to the midnight premier of The Dark Knight Rises! Okay, all I am going to say about that movie (in case you haven't seen it yet) is that it's absolutely amazing and you would never expect the ending. Seriously, it's definetly one of my favorite movies of all time. It actually caught me off-guard, that almost never happens! Okay, so you're also going to see the return of a few OCs in this chapter. I would like to have them all come back eventually, just not all in one chapter. It'll be over a series of time, but eventually they maybe sort of kind of possibly all return in the near yet also distant future. Oh, there may be some not-so-subtle foreshadowing in this chapter! That's right... this story actually has a plot line... MWAHAHAHA! Okay, so this will be continued on in the next chapter, by the way, so don't worry! I just wanted to update early because... actually I don't know why I wanted to update early. I don't own anything... well, except myself. I own myself. Now stop listening to me rant on and read the chapter already!**

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><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

"Do you have everything?" Annie asks.

"Yeah, I think so." I nod, pawing through my gym bag again. It's holding all the things I need for our overnight trip to He- I mean, District One. We're apparently going to be staying with a friend of Cato's after the movie, The Dark Knight Rises, ends. I don't really know who it is we're staying with, but quite frankly I just don't care. We'll be leaving District One in the morning and then heading back here.

"Stay safe," Annie says, stepping up and giving me a kiss.

"I will." I smile.

"Let's go!" Cato says excitedly, grabbing his bag and running outside into District Four. I follow him out into the sunlight. It's about noon now, that'll give us just enough time to get to the District One Movie Theater. It takes us about twenty minutes to make the walk to the District Four Train Station, but that's fine with me. The Station is a huge, square, gray building. On the outside it's covered in graffiti and paint splatters, standing out against the beach-y colors of the District, but inside it has murals of the ocean painted on the walls. People bustle to and fro, desperate not to miss their trains. Cato and I make our way to Platform Nine to board our train.

"I don't understand!" Someone behind me exclaims. I turn around to see a rather familiar girl with dark brown hair and green eyes, her hands pushing against the brick pillar that separates platforms nine and ten. "I must have missed the train!"

"I'm sorry," I say, walking over to her. "But do I know you from somewhere?"

"I can't believe I can't get on the platform!" She exclaims, ignoring me. She sighs. "God, Miranda is never going to let me live this down…"

"Hey!" I say loudly. She wheels around and points a sword at my chest. It starts playing the song Crazy by Gnarls Barkley. Since when can swords play music? "Oh my gods, Finnick Odair, I'm sorry!" The sword shrinks into an iPod which she quickly stuffs into her pocket.

"Um, I'm going to pretend I didn't see that." I say slowly. "Do I know you from somewhere?"

"Yeah," She nods, looking a little annoyed. "I was the one who got banished and then thrown to piranhas."

"Oh, right," I nod. "The poor fish…"

"Yeah," She nods, sticking her hand out. "I'm Ex-Agent Amber."

"Wait," I say. "Wouldn't you just be Amber then?"

"Ex-Agent Amber sounds cooler." She shrugs.

"Okay…" I nod.

"Finnick lets go!" Cato says impatiently.

"See you around, Ex-Agent Amber," I yell over my shoulder as I leap onto the train. We take our seats and the train takes off, flying across the terrain at the whopping speed of two-hundred miles per hour. It only takes us a few hours to arrive in District One.

"We're here!" Cato cheers as we step off the train. Almost instantly I'm practically tackled to the ground.

"Finnick, I knew you'd come for me!" A female voice shrieks in my ear and I feel her clutching tightly onto my arm.

"Aria?" I ask in surprise, turning to face the black-haired and brown-eyed girl. "What are you doing here?"

"TAOFOMS told me you were coming!" She yells. "You have a tracker implanted in your skin!"

"What?" I ask, shocked.

"We're going to have our wedding outside the District Four Justice Building!" She continues, ignoring my panic. "And then we're going to have our honeymoon in the mountains of District Two! Then we're going to live in District One and have five children-"

"Named Avery, Nathan, Margaret, Sasha, and Ramon." I nod, annoyed. "I'm aware."

"How'd you know?!" She yells happily, everyone who happens to be walking by staring at us like we're crazy. There might be some truth to that statement…

"You told me before." I say, trying to pry her off my arm.

"It's like you read my mind!" She exclaims as if I hadn't said anything. "We're _so_ meant for each other! We know each other so well!"

"Um, you _know_ her?" Cato asks, pointing to the girl latched onto my arm.

"I've met her once." I nod, looking down at her and sighing. "This happened then, too."

"How'd you get her off last time?"

"I didn't," I reply honestly. "Johanna did."

"Oh, bro," Cato says, looking at me sympathetically. "That's tough."

"What am I going to do?" I say, starting to freak out. "I'm going to have a girl attached to my arm forever! How am I going to change the channel if I can't even pick up the remote? What if I have to get my arm removed? WHAT IF I HAVE TO CHEW MY OWN ARM OFF?!"

"Finnick," A girl says, appearing in a puff of blue mist. Rose. The crazy girl who gave me Shermanette and thinks she's the author… whatever that means. "Chill. Here, have some Beast-Away. It's strong enough to repel a large man or an average-sized bear."

"Thanks," I nod, spraying some in Aria's eyes.

"IT BURNS!" She shrieks, falling over and rubbing her eyes fiercely. "IT BURNS!"

"_The doctor said 'whatchu cryin' about?'  
><em>_And I said, 'is that a rhetorical question?  
><em>_You know why I cry_…  
><em>I have a serious lack of hair on the side of my head<em>…'" Rose sings before disappearing again.

"I am seriously concerned for her mental health." I announce before Cato and I make our way out into District One. The entire place is perfectly clean and smelling of baby wipes. "So… where's the movie theater?"

"That way!" Cato announces, consulting a hand-held map.

"Cato."

"Yeah?"

"You're holding the map upside down."

"Oh," He blushes, flipping it over the right way and pointing in a different direction. "That way!" We walk for about half an hour before we stop outside a pretty, two-story, white house with a light pink door, window frames and picket fence.

"Why are we here?" I ask, confused.

"We're just dropping our stuff off before the movie." Cato replies, opening the gate of the fence and walking up to the door. He rings a doorbell and I faintly hear a loud _meow_ resonate through the inside of the house instead of an actual doorbell. That's not a good sign.

"Hi!" A beautiful girl with wavy blonde hair and big brown eyes says, throwing open the door. She holds two calico kittens in her hands and a silver tabby perches on one of her shoulders. "Cato, I so happy that you made it!"

"Glimmer, I haven't seen you in ages!" Cato smiles, going to hug the girl but stopping himself due to the fact that he might crush the two kittens in her hands on accident.

"I know, I've missed you!" She beams before turning to me. "And you must Finnick."

"Yeah," I nod, before burping and scratching behind my ear. "Sup?"

She frowns. "Aren't you going to say 'excuse me'?"

"What is the meaning of the words you speak?" I ask, perplexed.

"We're just dropping our stuff off!" Cato says quickly before Glimmer can reply. He tosses his stuff through the doorway and does the same with mine, snatching it out of my hands and chucking it into the house. "See you later, Glimmer!"

"Bye, Cato!" Glimmer smiles.

"Aren't you going to say goodbye to me?" I pout in mock sadness.

"No!" She snaps, slamming the door in my face.

"Well," I say, trotting after Cato. "That was a bit rude."

"Glimmer doesn't like people she thinks are disgusting." Cato replies simply.

"Gee, thanks," I grumble. Finally, we arrive at the movie theater and after running from a giant pack of fan girls, explaining to a couple security guards why we tried to enter the theater through one of the windows, and almost getting eaten alive by a giant turkey, we make it inside.

**165 Minutes Later…**

"Oh my god…" I breathe, walking out of the theater. "That was the best movie I've ever seen in my life."

"I'll never look at genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist-detective-pilot-escape artist-master of disguise-multilingual-vigilantes the same way again!" Cato exclaims and I laugh.

"Well, alright-y then, let's go!" I say, heading towards the door.

"Wait!" Cato yells, grabbing my arm. "You can't go out there! Those fan girls saw you go in, and they've been waiting outside the entire time!"

I look out the window to see them viciously attacking one of the security guards trying to get in, like wild, starving wolves after a succulent T-bone.

"You're right," I nod gravely. "What am I going to do?!"

"Here!" Cato says loudly, grabbing an empty popcorn bag and throwing it over my head. "Now no one will know it's you!"

"Yeah," I say my voice sounding echo-y due to the bag. "And I can't see, either!"

He pulls the bag off my head and pokes holes in the bag with his fingers before sticking it back on.

"Better," I nod, now able to somewhat see. Meh, its better then nothing. "Alright, _now_ let's go." We throw open the door and take a step outside, the swarm of fan girls parting to let us through but eyeing us suspiciously. If someone dropped a tack right now, you could probably hear it hit the ground.

"Don't mind us," I say awkwardly. "I'm just a disfigured ugly dude trying to get back to his run-down old shack… ha… ha ha…"

"You sound familiar…" One of the girls says, trailing off and breaking away from the crowd to take a step closer.

"Um, I don't know what you're-" I begin, but I'm cut off as she pulls the bag off my head faster then I can blink.

"IT'S FINNICK!" She screams.

"Dude, run!" Cato shouts and we take off, being followed by a giant mob of screaming fan girls. Our feet pound against the cement sidewalks of District One as we run and the scent of baby wipes emanating from the district threatens to overwhelm my senses, but the Robin in my is saying that it'll all be fine if I just stay whelmed, so I keep going. Now, Cato and I are pretty fast and normally we would have outrun the crazy army of stalkers, but these aren't just any stalkers… these are Career stalkers. Arrows with heart-shaped arrowheads wiz past me and a bright pink spear almost impales my foot.

Suddenly a loud _CRACK,_ like the sound of ripping earth, resonates through the cool air, the ground shaking below me. I fall to my knees and just as quickly as the noise came, all is quiet. Maybe a little _too_ quiet. I stand up and turn around to find that the army of fan girls… has… disappeared.

"Where'd they go?" I ask confused.

"I don't know," Cato shrugs, looking just as baffled as I am. "But let's not look a gift horse in the mouth. I mean, horses have really bad breath. Like, seriously, it's just gross. Come on, let's head to Glimmer's house and get some sleep."


	34. Princess Pancakes

**So, sup people? There are some things that I really want to tell you about this story because it's awesome but I can't because it would ruin it and I enjoy torturing you so... *singsong voice* I know something you don't know! *talks normally* Anyway, um... Peter Pan reference somewhere in there. Yeah, I don't know where that came from. I got my Hunger Games DVD! YAY! It was awesome, and I have, like, three hours of special features to watch, lol. Okay, so, I start school tomorrow (Sherman have mercy!) so I will probably be updating every ten days, but... that's what I do already so, yeah. I mean, I considered doing what everyone else does and publishing a chapter every week (like, I'd probably do this story on Fridays) but I don't know... I might. I don't know. Anywho, enjoy the chapter!**

**Rivera: She doesn't own anything. Except me, Cyrilla, Harcourt, and herself, even though none of us are in this chapter. Whatever. I hate you all. **

* * *

><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

I wake up to a cat meowing in my face.

"AH!" I shriek, shoving the furry creature off me roughly. The brown tabby hisses at me and leaps onto the ground next to the bed, looking up at me expectantly with big green eyes.

You wouldn't believe what room I'm staying in. The entire place is pink and every inch of exposed matter is coated in sparkles. It burns my eyes. Ragdolls (both the cats and the toys) sit on the shelves, and the carpet is a light pink fur that tickles my feet when I walk.

"What?" I grumble, sitting up and stretching.

He meows at me again, his eyes narrowing a little, as if he expects me to understand what the heck he's saying.

"Scruffy is right!" Glimmer exclaims happily, coming out of no where. She's a morning person. I hate morning people. "You need to get ready, Finny! Your train leaves in an hour and a half!"

"Don't call me Finny." I frown.

"You call Johanna _Jo_." She shouts back.

"Touché." I nod, raising an eyebrow. Glimmer is truly a worthy adversary. "Wait, how did you know that?"

"Um," She says, looking dumbstruck. "I… um… I made pancakes!"

"PANCAKES!" I scream, suddenly awake, vaulting over the bed and racing down the pink hallway. I leap onto the stair rail and ride down it like it's a slide, bursting into the kitchen. Cato already sits at the table, eating some of the flat waffles. A silver tabby sits next to him with a bib tied around her neck as she drinks from a glass bowl of milk, which is located next to her plate of catfish which rests on fine china. Meanwhile, in the seat I assume I'm to sit in, Glimmer through a few pancakes on a paper plate that has turned soggy from the maple syrup.

"Hey, Finnick," Cato nods. "You've got to try these pancakes, they're amazing!"

"Glimmer is insane!" I blurt, sitting across from him. He looks up at me, confused, waiting for me to continue. "No sane person has this many cats. And she knew that I called Johanna _Jo_!"

"So?" Cato rolls his eye brows. "Johanna probably told her that."

"They get along?" I ask in surprise.

"Yeah, they're like best friends."

"Really?" I blink in surprise. "I would have thought they'd be, I don't know, mortal enemies. I mean, given how Jo has absolutely no matters whatsoever and hates almost every soul to walk the earth…"

"Well, it's kind of a best frienemy thing, honestly."

"Oh," I nod in understanding.

"Oh, there you are, Princess!" Glimmer laughs, walking in. I'm going to hope she's talking to the cat. She pulls out a mini tiara and places it on the head of the silver tabby.

"You've got to be kidding me." I deadpan.

"What?" She asks, looking perplexed at my response to this action.

"You just gave a cat a tiara." I gape.

"Not just any tiara," She says proudly. "A diamond tiara!"

"You've got to be kidding me." I mutter, falling over in exasperation.

"She won the District One Beauty and Brutality Pageant a few years back." Cato tells me. "So she's loaded."

"Oh, Finny," Glimmer squeaks happily. "Are you going to eat your pancakes? Mister Whiskers says that he wants some, and yours are the only ones left besides Cato's."

"That's it!" I shout, leaping to my feet. "We're leaving now!" I grab Cato by the wrist and drag him out of the house, carrying our bags in my other hand.

"But-but," Cato says as we start to get further and further away from the house.

"What?" I hiss, through clenched teeth. He looks like he's about to cry. What's wrong? Is he hurt? Oh my gosh, what if I'm cutting off the circulation to his hand and we're going to have to cut it off? He's going to have to get a flying ship and be voiced by Hans Conried and be afraid of ticking alligators and, oh my gosh, what have I done? "Cato, what is it? I'm so sorry! Please tell me!"

"I never got to finish my pancakes!"


	35. Not So Itsy Bitsy

**Hello all! So, that's right, I've done it! And I will probably regret it later, too, but let's not focus on that right now, haha. I've decided to update this story every Friday! And as for you people who are no doubt wondering where the heck the next chapter for The Kill is... shut up, I'm busy. Lol, no, but seriously, I just started school and I'm on the gifted (that means advanced) team and... gosh, it's a miracle that I'm still alive and not rotting away in a wooden box six feet under the earth's surface. Anywho...**

**Annie: GOLF BALLS!  
><strong>**Finnick: *sighs* What she means to say is that Rose doesn't own anything in this chapter except Rivera. She's a failure like that.  
>Annie: GOLF BALLS!<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Cato InstertCatoslastnamehere<strong>

Humming, I step into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face, just like I do every morning. My toothpaste is watermelon flavored! When I finish with this, I walk over to the towel rack next to the tub to wipe the water off my face. Then, as I lower the towel, I see it, sitting in the button of the tub, staring straight at me with eight beady, blood-thirsty black eyes...

It takes a few seconds before I'm able to catch my breath and gets the words out. "SPIDER!" In horror, I stumble backwards and trip over the rug, coming crashing to the ground.

"Cato, what is it?" Finnick demands, rushing in and carrying Shermanette.

"Sp-sp-sp..." I stutter, feeling woozy.

"Cato, get a grip!" He shouts, shaking me exaggeratedly. "Everything is going to be fine, just tell me what it is that's freaking you out!"

"Spider..." I hiss. For a second, his expression stays the same.

Then he bursts out laughing.

"Don't laugh!" I say angrily. How dare he? Spiders are terrifying! They are all hairy and they have pinchers and eight legs and no telling how many eyes and... oh gosh, I might throw up. "This is a serious matter!"

"Yeah, yeah, alright..." Finnick says taking deep breaths and wiping tears from his eyes. "Okay, where is it?"

"In the tub." I reply, standing up.

"Alright." He says, turning and walking out of the bathroom.

"Hey!" I yell after him. He pokes his head back in, waiting for me to continue. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go find someone to get rid of the spider." He shrugs. "Duh. You didn't think I was going to try to catch that monstrosity myself, did you?"

I face palm, and in a few minutes, Annie walks into the bathroom.

"Hi, Cato," She says happily. "Finnick says there's a spider. I can get rid of it."

"Awesome," I smile thankfully. "It's in the tub." Annie walks up to the tub, a determined look on her face. When she reaches it, however, the determination disappears to be replaced by fear. "Annie what is it?"

"Th-that's a tarantula." She whispers in terror.

"Yeah," I nod. "So? Is that going to cause a problem or...?"

"Tarantula's are the natural enemies of golf balls..." She murmurs before shrieking, "MY BABIES ARE IN DANGER!" and rushing out of the room, her arms spazzing in the air frantically.

"Well..." I mumble. "Alrighty then. RIVERA!"

"WHAT?!" Rivera yells back from the other side of the house.

"I NEED YOU TO COME KILL THIS SPIDER!"

"YOU NEED ME TO COME TILL YOUR CIDER?!"

"NO! I NEED YOU TO EXTERMINATE THIS ARACHNID!"

"YOU NEED ME TO EXFOLIATE HER AIR SANDWICH?!"

"NO, DUDE, I NEED YOU TO- oh for God's sake-I NEED YOU TO TERMINATE THIS TARANTULA!"

"Why didn't you just say so?" He asks calmly, walking into the room a few seconds later and rolling his eyes.

I face palm. "Dude, just... just get the spider."

"Okay." He shrugs. I close my eyes and a few seconds later hear a loud _whack_. "Done."

I open my eyes again. "Just like that?"

"Just like that." He replies. "Would you like to see its internal organs? I can point them all out if you want. I mean, sure they are a little splattered across the bottom of your tub and everything, but each one has its own color and texture, so I can still tell what came from-"

"Nope!" I say, cutting him off. "Nope I'm good."

"You sure?" He asks, being serious.

"Yeah," I nod, feeling sick again. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"Okay," He nods. "See you later, Cato."

"See you later." I say as he walks out. Okay, now that that's taken care off... I just have to find someone to get rid of the spider guts now.


	36. The Completely True Secret Origin Story

**So it's a bit of a shorter chapter today (I think...?) but oh well! It probably would have been longer if Friday hadn't snuck up on me. DARN YOU FRIDAY! Lots of comic book references in here that no one will get. Don't know why I even say this now. In other news... Imma super-secret spy... XD**

**Finnick: She don't own me! *fail gangsta face*  
>Rivera: *sighs* She owns me...<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

"Alright now, listen up," I say as everyone (minus Harcourt and Cyrilla, but they don't count) sits down around the campfire we built in the backyard. The stars shine above us and I grab a flashlight for dramatic effect. "And I'll tell you the completely true secret origin story of me!"

"Oh brother…" Johanna mutters, a mouthful of marshmallow.

"My parents," I begin. "Were cryptozoologists in search of the deadly, blood-sucking Chupacabra in the deepest, darkest part of Africa, lost somewhere in the Jungle… while I was all alone and defenseless back at the campsite."

Annie raised her hand to ask a question.

"Yes Annie?" I ask politely.

"Where's Africa?" She asks, tipping her head to the side. Johanna nods in agreement. I facepalm.

"Wait a minute," Rivera shakes his head, a little confused. "Cryptozoology?"

"Yep!" I nod proudly. "It's the study and search for legendary animals and mythical creatures, also known as cryptids."

"I know that." Rivera snaps, folding his arms. "I also know that your parents were Victors."

"Mind letting me tell my origin story, Rivera?" I frown.

"But what were your parents doing looking for the Chupacabra in _Africa_ when everyone knows that the creature is indigenous to the _Americas_?" Cato asks skeptically. We all stare at him. "What?"

"Were you fed dictionaries as a child?" Jo asks, smirking.

"I'm going to continue!" I announce. "As I was saying… there I was all by my lonesome in the dark, dusty, desolate desert."

"Um, what happened to the jungle?" Jo asks, narrowing her eyes.

"No interruptions!" I shout, chucking a marshmallow at her head. "When, suddenly, something spooked the horses! I went to investigate and was attacked by something that leapt out of the shadows! It was, of course, the monstrous, brain-eating Basilisk! But instead of turning me to stone, the Hunchback Sasquatch transformed me! Yes, the sexiest man alive that you see before you was born of a bite from a radioactive unicorn from another dimension!"

"You're insane!" Rivera shouts, standing up. "You were attacked by a shark and the doctors had to completely reconstruct your face! Everyone knows that!"

"I'm confused…" Annie mutters before falling over and lying sprawled out on the ground.

"So where are your parents now?" Cato asks.

"Well," I say slowly. "Not long after I became the sexy beast before you, there was a flood in the district… I managed to save myself but…"

"Oh." Cato pales.

"It's okay!" I say, brightening up. "I was only an aimless orphan for a short time. I was soon recruited by the Justice League!"

"That never happened." Rivera shakes his head.

"Who's secret origin is this anyway?" I whine. "And since when did you become the expert on _me_?"

"I do my homework." He says blankly and somewhat creepily.

"It sounds like a bunch of fiction to me." Johanna mutters.

"But-but that part is 99% true!" I argue.

"I'm going to sleep." Rivera announces, heading back into the house without waiting for a reply.

"I'm gonna go, too." Annie says dreamily, yawning. "My golf balls have a strict bed time, and they can't get any rest unless I tuck them in."

"I'll head back to the Inn." Johanna nods.

"I'm going to go try and get Glimmer to tell me how she made those awesome pancakes over Skype." Cato nods.

"Wait!" I call after them. "Don't you want me to tell you the secret origin story of Cato?"

"NO!"


	37. Stranded

**Hello my people! So, this chapter is based on some issues I had myself over the summer. Car troubles! Really, I was stranded in several parking lots of the course of a week. Not fun. Alrighty, so some of this may confuse you, but I promise it will all be explained in the future! How soon of the future, I'm not entirely sure... but the future! If you can predict what is going to happen (or what's happening or *gasp* what's _already happened_) then you are officially awesome. So take it away, Jo!**

**Johanna: She doesn't own me, or any of us for that matter. And don't call me Jo!**

* * *

><p><strong>Johanna Mason<strong>

"No…" I breathe in shock as the engine in my truck begins to make those odd grinding noises again, and driving becomes jerky as the vehicle can't seem to decide if it wants to go forward or not. It's been doing this for a few weeks—it's even broken down twice already—but this time its worse. This time, I'm out in the middle of no where. "No, no, no, no, no, NO!"

I let out a frustrated shriek as the engine suddenly cuts off and the pickup stops abruptly. I throw open the door to the truck and leap out. I'm smack in the middle of the desert on a road that almost no one seems to travel. I've long since left Four, or any of the Districts for that matter, and am out in the wilderness. My eye twitches as a tumble weed rolls past me.

"Hey…" I say out loud, looking off into the distance. "What's that?"

It looks, from here, anyway, like a speck. A tiny, grey speck way off on the horizon… but it might be something. Like a gas station. I mean, don't they have to put gas stations every something-miles in case people break down? At least that would make sense. But, God, that's a _long_ way to walk. I can't even tell if it's really a building. What if it's just a cactus? Or a mushroom? Giant mushy friend!

_Hey_! I snap at myself in my head. _Focus_!

"Right." I say out loud, nodding. "Focusing. But, seriously, what if it's not an actual building?"

_ So? It's worth a shot. Would you rather die out here?_

"Good point." I say, walking back over to my truck. "But maybe I can get the truck started again…"

I walk over to the pickup and place my hand on the door, intent on getting in and attempting to start it up again, but the second I place my hand on it, the handle falls off. Angrily, I kick my truck with my foot. It's such a piece of junk! Then, the entire vehicle hits the ground, its wheels falling off. All the doors come free of their hinges and clatter to the ground, as well as the hood and truck popping open. I sigh sadly, thinking its over, and the entire thing catches on fire, quickly followed by a large explosion once said fire reaches the gas tank.

"Justin!" I sob. "I know what I said about you being a piece of junk but I never meant it! All those times I mocked you to my friends behind your back, none of it was true! Come back to me!"

_ Justin?_

"Yeah," I nod, wiping away a few tears. "I named my truck Justin. So what?"

_ Nothing. _

"That's what I thought." I say, standing up and placing my hands on my hips. "Well… I guess I'm walking."

**5 Minutes Later**

"_Fifty-four cartons of milk on the wall_." I sing out loud.

_Fifty-four cartons of milk!_ My mind sings.

"_Take one down_,"

_ Pass it around,_

"_Fifty-three cartons of milk on the wall_!"

**10-ish Minutes Later**

"Oh my God…" I murmur, gasping for breath, as I crawl across the sandy ground of the never-ending desert. The sun scorches my back and my mouth is so dry… I can't remember the last time I drank something.

_You've only been going for fifteen minutes._ The inner me points out. _And at the eight minute mark you stopped for a nap._

"I've never been under so much strain in my life!" I cry. "I'm never going to get to the stupid grey dot on the horizon! I just want Justin back!"

_Idiot_. The voice says. _Look. Up._

"What…?" I begin but trail off as I lift my head to see it, sitting there before me, like a gleaming beacon in a cold night out on the ocean. Not that I'd go anywhere near the ocean, but you get the point. "A repair shop! I'm saved!"

_ Is there any wood around to knock on?_

"Shut up, I'm busy being overly optimistic!" I snap at the voice. I race to door and try to open it, almost falling over when I realize the door won't let me in. It's locked. I bang on the glass a few times before realizing what's going on. The entire inside of the shop is wrecked and coated in dust. I bang my head on the wall. It's abandoned!

_ You know you could always just call B-_

"No!" I yell angrily. "I'm not going to call them."

_ Call._

"No!"

_ Call._

"No!"

_ CALL!_

"Fine!" I sigh, pulling my Blue Phone out of my pocket and holding it up to my ear. I listen impatiently as it rings.

"_Hello_?" A voice on the end of the line asks politely. "_You've reached_-"

"Yeah, I know who I've reached." I growl. "Just send some one to pick me up. Justin broke down_._"

"_Oh, that's sad_." She says. "_Where are you_?"

"I'm in the desert outside an abandoned car repair shop."

"_A car repair shop_?"

"Yep."

"_You do realize the irony in_-"

"Yeah, I know!" I hiss. "I get it! The irony is not wasted on me!"

"O_kay, Johanna, help is on its way_."

"Thanks." I say before hanging up. After about ten or so minutes I see a helicopter appear on the horizon. It grows larger until the sleek, dark blue aircraft is hovering directly above me. A rope latter is quickly swung down to me and I leap on, climbing up until I can pull myself onto the silver floor. I quickly slip into a seat and buckle the belt.

"Nice to see you're not dead." A confident voice says from the pilot's seat next to me.

"Of all the people they could have sent…" I grumble. "They send you."

"Beggars can't be choosers." Glimmer shrugs, before beginning to fly the helicopter back towards District Four.


	38. A Reason To Party

**So, some news that I'm sure you're all very interested in but probably know anyway: THEY CAST FINNICK! AHHH! Okay, so they chose Sam Claflin to play Finnick Odair in the next Hunger Games movies and if you're like me you're also going, "Who the heck is Sam Claflin?" Well, he's a pretty new actor, I guess, and he's most noted for his role as the prince in Snow White And The Huntsman, and also playing some character (*shurgs*) in Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. So yeah. I aprrove! Though I really think they should have picked either Alex Pettyfer or Justin Hartley (have you seen this guy? He's gorgeous! Look him up on Google Images!) but, I do approve of Sam Claflin. Meanwhile, Jena Malone is going to be portraying Johanna Mason. Excitement! I can't wait until it comes out. I'm just going to die. Also, I do realize this chapter is late. Oops? Just read!**

* * *

><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

"Guess what!" I yell happily, running downstairs and bouncing up and down. Cato watches me coolly, sipping a glass of chocolate milk.

"What?" He sighs, still looking half asleep. In just his boxers, he looks ready to crawl back into bed as soon as possible. It's much earlier then most of us are used to waking up, but I wouldn't let them miss this for the world.

"Today's the day!" I shout before starting to run around in circles. Words cannot express how happy I am right now. "Today's the day! Wahoo!"

"And you're sure that you have everything?" Annie says out of breathe, as she carries a giant suitcase down the stairs. It looks like its ready to explode.

"I _think_ so," Her mother nods, following her down the stairs as she does her makeup in a hand mirror.

"WHAT?!" Harcourt screams, almost falling down the stairs but catching himself on the handrail at the last minute.

"Oh you got everything?" I say happily. "That's great! I'm so happy your house is all repaired from when Rivera burned it down. You know, supposedly. Now get out."

"Finnick…" Annie says quietly, shaking her head.

"Oh, you're right, Annie, I'm sorry." I apologize before turning back to Cyrilla and Harcourt. "_Please_ get out."

"At least you have good manors…" Cyrilla grumbles, shuffling past me.

"Whoa, wait," I say suddenly. "Does that mean you finally approve of me?"

"Heavens, no!" She exclaims, as if the idea was revolting. "I just said at least you had enough manors to say please!"

I facepalm.

"And Rivera," Annie says gently, turning to the eight year old. "Are you sure that you don't want to go back to District Two? I mean, you could travel with my parents. They still live next door to you. Surely you miss your family?"

"No, I'm good," He nods, smiling a little.

"And I'm not taking that heathen with me!" Cyrilla snaps, taking her bag from Annie.

"Well," I say, pushing the two of them out the door. "It was really nice to see you again, and hopefully you won't need to come back for a long, long time, so enjoy your new house, and never come back!"

"WHAT?!" Harcourt yells just as I slam the door shut.

"PARTY! I scream, throwing confetti everywhere. Rivera hits a button and a Disco balls drops from the ceiling. I pop the top off a nonalcoholic champagne bottle as Rivera starts dancing on a table. Life just got 100% better.


	39. Of Bubble Baths and Green Ham

**Well... this chapter is so tiny! Just like in the good old days! Haha, I seriously typed this up in five minutes. I figured that a tiny chapter was better then no chapter at all, right? And I couldn't stand to not update for another Friday. Let's just say that I'm currently drowning... in life. Yeah, let's go with that. Haha, so anyway, here's the chapter! It's inspired by a little adventure of my own from when I was about four, I think, and the fact that I just took a bubble bath in my new bathtub WITH ARM RESTS! Be jealous *smirks* Anyway, the rest of it just came from my somewhat-disturbed imagination.**

**Finnick: She doesn't own me. And guess what! I got a Jolly Rancher! Of love! *eating Jolly Rancher***

* * *

><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

I'm free! I'm free of _them_! I've never felt so alive! Yesterday… I read! A book! Like, that's never happened before! It had such vivid scenery descriptions, interesting characters, a complex plotline… I always heard that Green Eggs and Ham was a good book, but I didn't know it was that good!

And you know what I did the day before?

I took a bubble bath.

It didn't go so well.

So it all started out like a normal day with Annie almost burning down the house a few times with her cooking, Cato listening to LMFAO, and Rivera doing… whatever it is he does. So then on TV I saw a commercial for bananas! I'm not really sure why those made me want to take a bubble bath… but it did!

Then, I went to take a bubble bath, and I picked out my favorite bubble bath… stuff… which of course is Finnick Odair's Sexy Man Bubble Bath. Because sexy men take bubble bathes. Yep.

Anywho, I was about to pour the bubble bath mix in with the water, and I realized I didn't know how much to put in! When I looked on the back, of course, there was a giant picture of my head right where the instructions should have been. Come to think of it, how did it pass the health inspections? Well, I just shrugged it off, and poured all of it in. It's not like it's expensive. And, besides, what's the worst that could happen?

Well, long story short, _a lot_ went wrong. My bathroom door was blown off its hinges, Allen the horned owl may be in the pet hospital for a few more days due to a severe stomach ache, and Cato now has a phobia of basketballs. On a slightly happier note, it stressed me out enough to get me to read a book! With words! Now, I'm reading The Cat and the Hat. It's just so captivating!


	40. Sight Asylum

**Happy chapter forty! Wow... that's a lot of chapters! Yay chapters! Haha, so this little chapter was inspired by my trip last night to Howl-O-Scream at Busch Gardens! It was so cool! About half of the things in this chapter is from my imagination, and the other half is actually there at the theme park. That reminds me, have you every gone to a haunted house of some sort and see teenage girls hanging onto each other's arms because they're absolutely terrified? It's hilarious. In other news, I screamed too much and now my throat hurts. But it was worth it! **

**Poodle the Werewolf: *growls* She doesn't own Hunger Games... *roars***

* * *

><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

"Yay haunted house!" Annie claps happily, jumping up and down. We stand in the line outside of Sight Asylum, District Four's haunted house. We're almost at the front of the line, which I'm thankful for since we've been waiting half an hour already. And to think it's going to get worse as the night goes on.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Cato asks, glancing around in paranoia. Outside of the house, people in extremely detailed and realistic costumes stalk around scaring the heck out of people, and they seem to especially favor Cato. "I mean, what about Rivera? The recommended age to go inside the house is thirteen, and he's only… um, how old are you again?"

"Mentally, I'm older then all of you." He replies coldly, brushing invisible dirt off of his shoulder. "But physically I'm eight years old."

"Really?" Cato tilts his head to the side. "You seem at least nine."

"That's nice," Rivera sniffs, turning away and trying to act like he doesn't know us.

"Just watch," Johanna says. "I'm going to pretend to be totally terrified! It's not even scary. I don't know what you're worried about, Cato."

"I know what he's worried about…" A zombie girl says dreamily, walking over and standing uncomfortably close to Cato's face. "And he's right to be worried. The Master always goes for the pretty eyes first…" She smiles creepily before suddenly screaming in Rivera's face.

"You need a breathe mint." He frowns, not even flinching.

"Rude!" She screeches before running off to terrorize two teenage girls.

"Quick! Hand me the blanket!" One of the girls, a brunette, screams frantically. The other, a blonde, reaches into her purse and pulls out a leopard-print blanket, which the brunette hastily throws over herself. "Yes! The murders can't get me now!"

"Next," The guy working the door says to my group.

"Yay, haunted house!" Annie cheers, being the first to push aside the black curtains and step through the door. Johanna follows her, putting on her I'm _absolutely terrified _face.

"Hold me hand," Cato squeaks. "I'm scared, Rivera." Rivera rolls his eyes and grumpily grabs Cato's hand before they walk inside. I can hear Cato's girly shriek from out here. The zombie girl from before laughs hysterically.

I'm last, following Rivera and Cato through the curtains. I'm in a dark, narrow hallway that's seemingly empty. One of the pictures hanging on the wall suddenly swinging down and a man without eyes screams at me. I flinch a little, but keep walking. Ahead of me, Annie is merrily singing show tunes while Johanna looks like she's going to have a heart attack. Severed arms and legs hang from chains on the ceiling, which they have to push aside to continue down the hallway.

"Oh, that-that's not normal…" Cato shakes his head.

Rivera laughs. "It reminds me of my sister!"

A man leaps out of nowhere, half of his face torn to shreds and his clothes soaked in blood. Johanna screams so loud my ears pop and Annie waves at the man merrily. "He wants your eyes…" The man hisses, dragging his knife blade along the wall and stalking past us.

"This isn't fun, this isn't fun at all." Cato jumps as two rats scurry in between his legs. We walk past a freezer with a clear glass door. Inside, a girl (or _half_ of a girl) in a bikini dangles from her wrists, icicles hanging from her arms. We pass a bloody toilet and a man sitting in an electric chair, yelling for help.

"Cato, protect me from the maniac!" Johanna says exaggeratedly, grabbing onto his arm. Rivera takes the opportunity to slip away from Cato, falling in beside me instead.

"This is fun!" Annie giggles, stepping carefully around a pile of intestines on the ground. Rivera shrugs, and Cato stares at her like she's insane. We reach a dead end, and look around in confusion.

"Well hello," A girl says cheerily, stepping out of the shadows behind us. She's pretty, in a white button-up shirt and a white skirt that make up her nurse's outfit. She's bleach blonde, with straight, silky hair. Her eyes glitter blood red and when she smiles, she reveals two vampire fangs. "Where would you like to go?"

"_Give me a home where the buffalo roam_!" Annie sings.

"Out," Johanna sobs into Cato's shoulder. "I want to get out!"

"Right this way," The nurse smiles disturbingly. She walks through our group, and we're stunned to see a door has manifested where a brick wall was just a minute ago. Cato sends me a confused look, and I shrug. The magic of haunted houses. We follow the nurse down a hallway, where several more vampires leap from the shadows, snarling and hissing at us. Their breath smells like blood, and I wonder how it is they accomplished that. "I hope our facilities are satisfactory."

She turns around a corner, and when we go to follow her, we find she's gone. We stand alone in a room with wooden planks making up the walls. There is about three inches of space in between each of the planks. It's dark outside of the planks, and I can't see anything past them. I turn and find the hallway we came through is gone, to be replaced by more wooden planks. There is no door. Johanna screams, jumping up and down and shaking her head violently back and forth. Cato's mouth just kind of hangs open, and his breathing comes in shallow gasps. Suddenly, men with their eyes gorged out appear outside the room, grabbing onto the planks and banging as hard as they can, clawing through the gapes and trying to grab at us.

"He wants your eyes!" They scream.

"_Behind these hazel eyes_…" Annie sings, swaying back and forth and smiling contently. Sometimes I worry about her.

"Some say that eyes are the gateway into the soul," A creepy voice says, echoing in my ears. I glance around, as do the others, trying to find where the voice is coming from. "But it's not the soul I'm after, that's what the vampires are for. I want your _eyes_."

I hear a creak in the wood and turn around, seeing a door has materialized. I wave to the others and lead the ground into a new hallway, almost identical to the first, with blood splattering the cement walls. A light flashes suddenly, and for a moment I see the word _don't_ written all over the walls before it disappears. I hear evil laughter and a skinny girl runs up to us dressed as a rag doll.

"Don't," She giggles. "But you will, won't ya? Why will ya? Because you're rule breakers. Rule breakers!" She begins to foam at the mouth, and we walk past her hastily.

The next man we pass actually freaks me out a bit. Parts of his flesh are peeling off onto the walls where chunks of skin hang attached to the cement. He spits blood and bits of cheek tissue out onto the ground right next to my feet and I give him as much space as I can while still passing him.

A deep cackle echoes through the corridor and I hear Cato scream. We turn, but there's nothing near him.

"Something breathed on my neck!" He squeaks, his lip trembling. Suddenly, a man appears beside me, his face covered in scars. His eyes are a pale blue and I get the sense that he's blind from the way he doesn't look at me. He snaps his teeth right next to my ear, and an animal-like scream emits from behind the group. A scarecrow jumps into being behind Cato, whom shrieks like a little girl. Johanna pretends to almost fall over in shock, and then rushes down the hallway, pushing ahead of me. The man besides me falls to his knees and crawls behind her, snapping at her heels as she goes.

"I want your eyes!" He shouts. He leaps to his feet and throws himself directly in front of Rivera, who yawns before walking casually by. Cato and I hurry behind him. Lights flash and we push our way through a line of curtains, finding ourselves outside in the night yet again.

"That was awesome!" Johanna laughs, clutching at her sides. "They seriously thought I was terrified! Did you see that last guy? I love that guy!"

"Never again," Cato shakes his head. "Never again."

"That was fun!" Annie squeals joyfully, beaming.

"It was alright," I shrug.

"It was boring." Rivera complains. I hear two familiar shrieks nearby and look around, my eyes resting on the two teenage girls from before. A group of vampires huddles around them, hissing and gnashing their fangs. The blonde grabs onto her friends arm with impressive amount of force for a girl her age and size, and instantly calms.

"It's okay now," She tells the brunette. "Clutching onto your arm like it's a lifeline will protect me from the vampires."


	41. Uvula

**So... one might say I'm a little late. *coughs awkwardly* But, okay, to make up for it, this chapter has a poem in it! Just like the olden times! Remember the stalker poems? Yeah? They've returned! **

* * *

><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

It occurs to me that I haven't read any fan mail in quite some time now. I'm rather bored at the moment, since Cato and Rivera are at the park and Annie is at the store buying groceries. It's horribly quiet. The only thing that breaks the silence is the sound of SpongeBob on the television screen, and the occasional screeching of Allen, my pet owl. I finally can't take it anymore and head outside to the mailpool, using a butterfly net to scoop out a decent amount of letters. I pick one out at random.

_ Dear Finnick,_

_ I decided to send you my uvula_

_ I cut it out while sitting on my sofa_

_ It's that flap-thing at the back of the throat_

_ Maybe one day we could go out on your boat?_

_ But not until you get rid of Cato, who now lives with you_

_ Him getting his own place is way overdue_

_ Besides, he's just holding you back_

_ Maybe you could stuff him in a sack_

_ And then throw him in the river_

_ That would make me so happy I'd shiver_

_ -Clove_

_ PS Tell my little brother not to forget to take his medication_

Why can't people like that just stay dead? That would make life so much easier. I mean, she got shot! With an arrow! But, nope, her death is just too much to ask for, sorry to get your hopes up. Gr. Not even bothering to look at her uvula, which is inside the box, no doubt, I chuck it into the garbage. Thinking better of it, I fish the box back out. Rivera will probably want her uvula.


	42. Mountain Dew and Happy Brownies

**Well, guys, it we had a nice run. We went an entire 7 months and 8 days without a flame! But I think we all know it was coming sooner or later. Who wants to celebrate? *pops top off of non-alcoholic champagne***

**Warning, this chapter contains drug and alcohol references.**

**Johanna: She doesn't own me, or most of us, for that matter.  
>Rivera: She owns me...<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Finnick Odair<strong>

Cato and I are just hanging out on the couch when there is a loud knocking at the door. I drag myself away from the TV and turn the door handle. Behind the elephant-sized rectangle of wood that is my door, Johanna stands, holding a much smaller rectangle covered in tin foil.

"Jo?" I ask in surprise. "You know it's four in the afternoon on a Sunday, right?"

"Happy birthday, Finnick!" She grins.

I frown. "It's not my birthday, Jo…"

"Well, you couldn't just play along now could you?" She frowns.

"What'd you want?" I roll my eyes. "And what's up with the tin foil rectangle?"

She sighs, looking a little embarrassed. "I… made… brownies."

"What?" I blink in surprise. "You made me… brownies?"

"Actually, they're for Cato," She says quickly, before looking past me. "Is he here?"

"Yeah," I nod. She tries to walk past me but I block her with my arm. "I'll give it to him."

"Um, okay," She frowns, before half-waving. "See you later, Finn."

"See ya," I say, closing the door behind me. What just happened?

"What just happened?" Cato calls from the living room, practically reading my thoughts. Some times I can't help but wonder if he can. I head back into the living room and walk in front of the TV, much to Cato's annoyance.

"Johanna made you brownies," I say, throwing them down on the table as I pass by. "Happy birthday!"

"It's not my birthday…" I hear him whisper quietly as I head into the kitchen. Honestly, I can't help but wonder why on earth Jo would have made him brownies…

**Cato InsertCatoslastnamehere**

I take a bite of a brownie and I'm surprised at how good it tastes, the flavor exploding in my mouth. It's amazing. However, there is a slight aftertaste. It's rather strange… almost like medicine…

**Finnick Odair**

"Hey, Annie," I say, looking through my kitchen cabinet. Annie stands at the fridge, gazing through the glass door and trying to decide what she wants to eat. "Pass me a Mountain Dew, would you?"

"Oh, I don't know, Finnick," She says, nervously twirling her hair. "Remember what happened last time you had Mountain Dew?"

"Oh, don't be silly, that wouldn't happen a third time!" I laugh, going over to the fridge myself and opening a Mountain Dew. I chug the whole thing and smile. "See? I don't even feel like drinking another."

"Ok…" She sighs, walking out of the room. The second she's gone I dive for the fridge and pull out the whole twelve-pack of Mountain Dew and drink my second. And then my third. And then my fourth.

**Cato InsertCatoslastnamehere**

How did those bongo ladies get on the ceiling? Meh, I don't really care, they're rocking the place! Really, the house is dancing! The walls are swaying back and forth like they're in a tropical breeze, and the gangster hamsters are dancing with Easter Island heads! It's so magical; it almost brings tears to my eyes.

I let out a started yelp as a purple cheetah runs by me, but then start laughing when it runs on the ceiling with the bongo ladies and starts chasing its tail. A werewolf runs in and howls at the Easter Island heads before breaking down the front door and falling into the red, spinning vortex of doom.

"Fun!" I exclaim, throwing a cupcake at the door and watching the vortex suck it in. A monkey leaps over and tries to grab my cupcakes. "Hey! Monkey! You can't have my cupcakes! Those cupcakes are MINE!"

"But what will Johanna think?" The monkey cackles, his voice sounding oddly like Arnold Schwarzenegger. "What will Johanna think if you're hoarding the cupcakes? Cup cake hoarder!"

"That's none of your business!" I shout.

"Or is it?" Suddenly the monkey reaches for a zipper I somehow hadn't seen until now and Johanna jumps out of the monkey costume.

"Johanna!" I squeak. "I'm s-so sorry I was hoarding the cup cakes! Will you forgive me?"

"No, you fool!" Johanna yells in a French accent, slapping me across the face. "How dare you not give ze monkey a cup cake! You sicken me! I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

My mouth drops open as she leaps into the red, spinning vortex of death. I can't believe she just said that to me! And I thought I cared about her! No. No, I shall never think about her again, or how I just want to hold her hand whenever we're standing next to each other, or how whenever I look into her eyes all I can think about is slowly leaning closer and—no. Never again.

**Finnick Odair**

I hiccup as I finish my seventh Mountain Dew. I toss the can on the pile and rise to my feet, almost falling over in the process. I stumble over to the twelve-pack of Mountain Dew (that now only has five left) and pop the top off the can.

"Finny!" Annie suddenly shrieks, standing in the doorway and gaping at the pile of Mountain Dew carcasses. She looks up at me sadly. "You said it wouldn't happen again."

"Oh, Annie," I slur, holding out a Mountain Dew to her. "Here, have one. Relax. You need to just… let go…"

"Um," She looks a bit surprised but takes it in trembling fingers. "Alright…"

**Rivera InsertCloveslastnamehere**

"Alright, I finished cleaning my room," I say, walking down the stairs. "Can I have some ice cream now?"

No one responds and I glance around. I shrug it off. They're probably just in the kitchen. I head down the hallway and stop dead, my jaw dropped, when I reach the kitchen.

"Uh…" Finnick murmurs, lying across the countertop. He holds a Mountain Dew up against his chest, some of the liquid dripping out onto his shirt. "M… hey… d…"

"Why is the ceiling spinning?" I hear Annie say weakly from where she's sprawled out across the floor.

"I'll get it myself…" I say slowly, heading over to the fridge cautiously and pulling the strawberry ice cream out. I quickly scoop some and stick it in a bowl before heading into the living room. "Cato, you won't believe what just-"

"Shush, polka dot turtle," Cato hisses, putting a finger over my mouth. I glare at it, cross-eyed. His bloodshot eyes twitch. "The robot bongo ladies might hear you…"

"Okay, that's it," I say, knocking Cato's hand away from my mouth and stomping off towards the front door. "I'm going to the book store! Call me when you're sober!"

As I start off down the road I vaguely hear Cato scream, "No! Rivera! Why did you let the red, spinning vortex of doom eat you? WHY?!"


	43. Swag Girls

**Well, it's been awhile, hasn't it? I'm really sorry, but I've been busy and really uninspired as far as this story goes. But now I'm back with a new chapter that I hope you'll enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing it. Okay, guys, on a serious note, its Self-Harm Awareness Day. If you didn't know, 1 out of 6 teenagers cut and someone dies from suicide every 43 seconds. This is a serious problem that we can't keep pretending isn't there. We need to take a stand and tell all the people out there who feel all alone that they aren't. People care about them, and nothing would be the same if they were gone. They matter. And if you feel worthless or ugly, or if you feel like you're screaming on the inside, all the time, and no one can hear you... I hear you. We all hear you. And we care about you. You aren't worthless, you're beautiful and amazing and I love you. There is not a single person on this planet who deserves to die, and that includes you. Stay strong.**

**And on a much lighter note, lets take this chapter to make fun of the people who ruin life for the rest of us. **

* * *

><p><strong>River InsterCloveslastnamehere<strong>

I stand in the mall outside of Abercrombie, waiting for Cato to finish shopping for his name-brand clothes, which are apparently very important to his soul… or at least, that's what he says. I'm dressed in black gym shorts, a grey T-shirt and skater shoes. No, not those stupid expensive ones that people pay three hundred dollars for, but actual skater shoes that one might actually take skating.

"OHMYGOSH you're so cute!" In an instant, I find myself being swept off the ground, and then all I see is pink. I hear several girls scream and I wriggle around until I finally free myself, stumbling backwards. In front of me are two girls who look rather familiar, one blonde and the other a brunette. They are dressed from head to toe in pink clothes, the same color as Cyrilla's house was. I burned down that house because it was that color.

"You're adorable!" The blonde squeaks, ruffling my hair.

I swat her hand away. "I know you from somewhere… did you go to the Sight Asylum?"

"Yeah, that was us!" The brunette nods, snapping a picture of me with her phone. That was right… these two were the geniuses who thought that their blanket would protect them from the murderers. Lovely.

"Like, can I get a legit pic for Instagram?" The blonde asks, twirling her hair. She doesn't even give me time to respond before kissing me on the cheek and snapping a picture of it. My eyes grow to the size of baseballs and I try desperately to wipe the slut off my face… I've been contaminated…

"So, yeah, like, I'm Caitlin," The brunette says, chewing her gum loudly.

"And I'm Brittany," The blonde nods energetically.

"I'm Rivera," I nod, still chocking on the pink overload. "Why so much pink…? It burns."

"Oh, it's Wednesday," Caitlin explains. "And on Wednesdays we wear pink."

"Why…?"

Instantly, they simultaneously reply, "'Cause YOLO."

"Oh, it burns…" I murmur, rubbing my temple. Brittany sweeps me up in a giant hug, holding me like a parent might hold a tired child, and no matter how much I struggle she won't let me go. Curse my tiny stature.

"Oh my gosh, I heard Conner was at the movies with Jordan," Caitlin says, like this news is life-changing.

"No way," Brittany gasps.

"Yeah, _way_,"

"But he's supposed to be there with Alisha!"

"Yeah," Caitlin nods, rolling her eyes. "_I know_."

"And, you know, Keegan says everyone is still talking," Brittany whispers, as if the news pains her. Meanwhile, I've stopped struggling, and have started trying to reach my switchblade. It seems to have fallen out of my back pocket when she picked me up the first time.

"No way," She says, looking shocked.

"Like, yeah,"

"OMG, did you hear what Lizzy said on Friday?"

"No, what?"

"She said she doesn't like One Direction, because, and I quote, they _don't_ have _swag_."

"They have so much swag!"

"I know!"

"Oh, that reminds me…" Brittany reaches into her pink purse and pulls out red eyeliner. She quickly draws three lines on her wrists and takes a picture of it. "Instagram… upload… #cutforjustinbieber…"

"LOLz, girl, you hilari'," Caitlin says and they both burst out laughing.

"I wonder," I say out loud. "If I'm trapped in your arms long enough, will I become stupid, as well?"

"Did you hear Whitney is on the dope?"

"No way, who'd you hear that from?"

"I heard it from Brian who heard it from Kip who heard it from Sarah who got it from Whitney."

"Wait, so Whitney told Sarah who told Kip who told Brian who told you?"

"Yeah…" Brittany nods, looking distracted all of a sudden. I follow her eyes to a group of three boys, sauntering through the mall, the small crowd parting for them. By the looks of them, their IQs are probably lower than their waistlines.

"Yeah, buddy!" One of them yells at the girls, who start giggling like maniacs. If I could reach my knife, I would gut them like the fish their surgically-enhanced lips make them look like… But I can't, so I'm going to resort to yelling.

"CATO, HELP ME!" I shriek, kicking and screaming. "I'VE BEEN ABDUCTED BY SWAG GIRLS!"

"What?" Cato asks, blinking in confusion as he walks out of Abercrombie, holding ten bags of clothing that he'll probably never wear. Its okay, though, he's using Finnick's credit card, which we borrowed from his wallet.

"Oh my gosh," Caitlin says, blowing a bubble with her gum.

"You're freaking hot," Brittany says bluntly, eying Cato with ravenous eyes.

"Yes I am," He nods in agreement, walking over. He points at me. "I'd like to have my short, eight-year-old friend back now…"

"That is so cute!" Brittany shrieks after she's transferred me into Cato's arms.

"Totes adorbs," Caitlin grins, flashing another picture.

"Well, we'll see you later," Cato says slowly, picking up my switchblade and walking away quickly.

"TTYL," Caitlin waves.

"Like, legit text me," Brittany yells.

"Are you alright?" Cato asks, once we're far away from them. I rest my head on his shoulder and close my eyes.

"I don't… where are we?" I murmur, very confused.

"It's okay, buddy, you're just going to need a little while to recover." Cato says.

"Okay,"

"Dude," Cato says, showing me a picture of myself on his phone. It's the picture Brittany took of her giving me a kiss on the cheek, but with slightly-off lighting. It was posted by xoxobrittanystyles4evsxoxo. "You made the popular page on Instagram!"

"I'm never going to the mall with you again."


	44. Saved by the Rubik's Cube

**Hello active followers! And to my ghost followers, BOO! So don't ask how I got the idea for this chapter because I'm really not sure. But what I am sure of is that this story now has an awesome cover! My good friend Royal Crown designed it because she is amazing. You should check out her profile! Also, guys, I've been considering making a Tumblr page for myself as a writer. I already have one for my personal stuff, but I was thinking about getting an account where I'd post pictures and updates about my stories and I might have contests and stuff on there that I can't really do via Fanfic. So, if I did that, would you guys follow me and participate? Or would it just be a huge waste of time?**

**Oh, speaking of contests, whoever submits the 400th review will get to request something! Whether it be a chapter idea you have, or an actual character from the books to come into the story, or for one of your OCs to come into the story, or whatever! You get to request something, which I will promise I will do unless its inappropriate or extremely violent or something, but that's unlikely. So good luck guys! I'll be watching. *pulls out binoculars***

**Rivera: The only thing she owns in this story is me. **

* * *

><p><strong>Cato InsertCatoslastnamehere<strong>

I sit on the couch trying to understand the science of a Rubik's Cube while Finnick sits next to me, sorting through his fan mail. So as you can imagine, we've been sitting here for several hours, with Super Friends episodes playing in the background. It's quite soothing as I struggle to make this cube have sides that are all different colors, and only one color, and… it's just so weird. I don't understand it! Like, why can't I just paint the sides the colors I want them to be? Problem solved. What is the point of this, what is the goal here? I don't comprehend.

I hear Finnick make sudden gasping sounds and I look over at him. He seems to be completely paralyzed, an expression of utter shock plastered to his face.

"Finnick," I say, grabbing his shoulder and shaking him roughly. "Finnick! What's wrong with you?!"

"This…" He breathing, holding out the letter. "It… it isn't… for me."

I blink in confusion. "What? People only send letters to you. You must being going crazy."

"No, no, I'm not crazy," He says, staring at the wall. "This letter is for you."

"For me?" I blink in surprise, taking the letter out of his trembling fingers and reading it.

_ Dear Cato,_

_ I used to be a Finnick fan, but you'll be happy to know that you've converted me! I kept seeing you next to Finnick on TV all the time, so I was curious as to whom you were. So I did a little research and it turns out that you're perfect! Well, perfect besides your anger management problems, but my dad is a therapist so that's easily fixed. Anyway, I love you forever and always, my baby doll angel Cato!_

_ -Mackenzie_

"Do you see?" Finnick sniffs, and then glares at me. "You're stealing away my fan base."

"I thought you hated your stalkers," I say, confused. I don't really mind. Actually, I think it's kind of cool to have a fan, especially since I did absolutely nothing to get one except standing next to Finnick.

"That wasn't a stalker! That was a fan!" He says. "And I love my fans no matter how much I take them for granted! So give Mackenzie back to me!"

"I can't just give her back,"

"Yes you can! You stole her!"

"She fell in love with me of her own free will!"

"See, you're already letting this go to your head," Finnick says, throwing his hands up in exasperation. He points an accusing finger at me. "You aren't worthy of fans. You violate the law that says all people with fans must pretend that they are actually normal people! You must act just like the rest of them, like you are completely down to earth, but then you must go have a cow living on your roof or wear a meat dress everywhere! You must tell them that you're just like them, but then remind them that you're not! You must-"

He keeps talking but I ignore him. I mean, he's just ranting. I'm considering yelling, "you're babbling, Nabu!" and then walking away, but I don't think that would be a very successful way to handle the situation. Instead, I pick up the Rubik's Cube and throw it at him. He's mesmerized the second his hands touch the plastic.

"What is this trickery?" He mutters, fiddling with the children's toy. "How does it work? I don't understand… this is... this is so strange to me…"

A smirk plays across my face and I slip out of the room before he notices. That's right, Finnick. You aren't the only one with fans, anymore.


End file.
